Help me tell my brother...
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 1
Help me tell my brother...
Hi guys,
New here, and looking for some advice.
My brother is an alcoholic of 10-15 years, he had a couple of years sober in that time when he said he was going to AA…
My family and l don't know what to do anymore. To give some background, my parents have a 2nd property in the same country where my brother lives which they rent out to students to help them get by (they are pensioners, they need the income of the rent they get). I just found out that my brother went to visit my parents last weekend and gave my mum a guilt trip about why can't he live in this house rent free for a few months so that he can save up some money. (He previously lived in this house for many years, rent free, and assaulted my dad once whilst dad was visiting. l helped my dad get him out of the house and living elsewhere. He also has numerous girlfriends every few weeks/months and having a house to himself instead of renting a room is obviously very appealing to him. I would guess he also has a sex addiction.).
What is making me really angry right now is that my mum has cancer and is due to start treatment today. Having my brother home for the weekend has caused my parents a huge amount of stress. They can't stand up to him, he has previously physically assaulted my dad like l said, and my brother has emotionally manipulated my mum into never being able to say no to him. They are not young and literally don't have the energy to deal with him.
I feel like asking my dad to take out a mortgage to give my brother money to cover his rent every month so that he has money to drink, and stop harassing them to move back into their house. This money would essentially be taken from whatever inheritance he would get.
I want to go no contact with him and explain to him that until he gets help, l want nothing to do with him. Right now l am so angry l don't know how to say this with compassion, the right way etc. I am exhausted and want to say the right thing, but don't know what that is.
I know my parents should not give him money etc but the reality is they can't not, they know it's not the right thing to do but they literally can't stand up to him. He is super manipulative and threatens to kill himself etc.
Can anyone suggest how l should go about talking to my brother? Phone call or email or both? Really appreciate any advice.
TIA.
Mick.
New here, and looking for some advice.
My brother is an alcoholic of 10-15 years, he had a couple of years sober in that time when he said he was going to AA…
My family and l don't know what to do anymore. To give some background, my parents have a 2nd property in the same country where my brother lives which they rent out to students to help them get by (they are pensioners, they need the income of the rent they get). I just found out that my brother went to visit my parents last weekend and gave my mum a guilt trip about why can't he live in this house rent free for a few months so that he can save up some money. (He previously lived in this house for many years, rent free, and assaulted my dad once whilst dad was visiting. l helped my dad get him out of the house and living elsewhere. He also has numerous girlfriends every few weeks/months and having a house to himself instead of renting a room is obviously very appealing to him. I would guess he also has a sex addiction.).
What is making me really angry right now is that my mum has cancer and is due to start treatment today. Having my brother home for the weekend has caused my parents a huge amount of stress. They can't stand up to him, he has previously physically assaulted my dad like l said, and my brother has emotionally manipulated my mum into never being able to say no to him. They are not young and literally don't have the energy to deal with him.
I feel like asking my dad to take out a mortgage to give my brother money to cover his rent every month so that he has money to drink, and stop harassing them to move back into their house. This money would essentially be taken from whatever inheritance he would get.
I want to go no contact with him and explain to him that until he gets help, l want nothing to do with him. Right now l am so angry l don't know how to say this with compassion, the right way etc. I am exhausted and want to say the right thing, but don't know what that is.
I know my parents should not give him money etc but the reality is they can't not, they know it's not the right thing to do but they literally can't stand up to him. He is super manipulative and threatens to kill himself etc.
Can anyone suggest how l should go about talking to my brother? Phone call or email or both? Really appreciate any advice.
TIA.
Mick.
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