When will i learn enough is enough
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 1
When will i learn enough is enough
Hi guys
New here, so i wanted to share and hopefully get some feedback positibe insight anything!
My story with alcohol is a complicated one. Im 28 and a mother. Alcoholism runs in my family. But for me im not someone who constantly drinks or has withdrawals id i dont... i actually i only probably drink now maybe 3 times a month. But let me tell you... im one of those drunks who once its in me i cannot stop. 2 drinks is not enough and 2 can be to many. I change once i have the booze running through me.. i become carefree and sometimes dangerous..It started with loving my 1 free night a week. I had my daughter at 17 so usually saturdays she would go with her dad and i was able to live like any other 20 something year old. Im not gonna lie, i have some of the best memories with alcohol. A beer in my hand dancing up a storm and life was good. However within the past 4 years ive had more bad times than good. It amazes me how i havent ended up arrested with a dui or dead. But thats not to say i havent had horrible experiences. Ive drained my bank account, lost things, damaged cars, destroyed stuff, hurt people, severed relationships, made a fool of myself, had sexual encounters i regret and even an unwanted pregnancy. But yet i still think because i had for instance 3 controlled times drinking the past month i will be fine. But boom another regret another mistake another shameful day in bed. When i get the alcohol in me i do not want to stop. Ill go out for brunch with a friend have 2 glasses of wine say our goodbyes and im driving to the liquor store to carry on my buzz to the point im wrecked. When will i learn enough is enough. Im starting to become truly terrified of myself but ive done this guys... woke up with headache smashed windshield etc and said ill never drink again. But i always do because i dont drink all the time i dont need it every night i just have a problem i cannot handle it but i always fool myself into thinking i can.
New here, so i wanted to share and hopefully get some feedback positibe insight anything!
My story with alcohol is a complicated one. Im 28 and a mother. Alcoholism runs in my family. But for me im not someone who constantly drinks or has withdrawals id i dont... i actually i only probably drink now maybe 3 times a month. But let me tell you... im one of those drunks who once its in me i cannot stop. 2 drinks is not enough and 2 can be to many. I change once i have the booze running through me.. i become carefree and sometimes dangerous..It started with loving my 1 free night a week. I had my daughter at 17 so usually saturdays she would go with her dad and i was able to live like any other 20 something year old. Im not gonna lie, i have some of the best memories with alcohol. A beer in my hand dancing up a storm and life was good. However within the past 4 years ive had more bad times than good. It amazes me how i havent ended up arrested with a dui or dead. But thats not to say i havent had horrible experiences. Ive drained my bank account, lost things, damaged cars, destroyed stuff, hurt people, severed relationships, made a fool of myself, had sexual encounters i regret and even an unwanted pregnancy. But yet i still think because i had for instance 3 controlled times drinking the past month i will be fine. But boom another regret another mistake another shameful day in bed. When i get the alcohol in me i do not want to stop. Ill go out for brunch with a friend have 2 glasses of wine say our goodbyes and im driving to the liquor store to carry on my buzz to the point im wrecked. When will i learn enough is enough. Im starting to become truly terrified of myself but ive done this guys... woke up with headache smashed windshield etc and said ill never drink again. But i always do because i dont drink all the time i dont need it every night i just have a problem i cannot handle it but i always fool myself into thinking i can.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to the family. 
For me, in order to stop drinking, I had to want to be sober, really want to be sober, more than I wanted to drink. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. 
For me, in order to stop drinking, I had to want to be sober, really want to be sober, more than I wanted to drink. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I'm thinking maybe the first thing I had to get through my head was that I didn't have a stop button...for real....
I was 28 when I got sober the first time. I made it 2 years and grew a lot. But you know the inability to drink never stops.
I'm 59 or 60 now ( can't remember which cause of brain damage). I almost died, I use a cane or walker at times, I can't remember if I took my legitimate medications, I can't remember what day it is, I can't remember a lot. I can't work and can't get disability.
I guess what I'm saying is I lost a lot between 28 and 59 or 60, even with some periods of sobriety.... Others can talk to you better about sobriety, but think about ending up like me when you take your next drink....
I was 28 when I got sober the first time. I made it 2 years and grew a lot. But you know the inability to drink never stops.
I'm 59 or 60 now ( can't remember which cause of brain damage). I almost died, I use a cane or walker at times, I can't remember if I took my legitimate medications, I can't remember what day it is, I can't remember a lot. I can't work and can't get disability.
I guess what I'm saying is I lost a lot between 28 and 59 or 60, even with some periods of sobriety.... Others can talk to you better about sobriety, but think about ending up like me when you take your next drink....
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
Welcome to SR Ksmith. I started out drinking every once in a while and it progressed to drinking everyday til I passed out. It’s progressive. I had to make the decision to stop for good because it wasn’t getting any better.
You’ll find a lot of support here.
You’ll find a lot of support here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 122
I can relate to the being an occasional who loses control easily. Binge drinking is no joke and more bad **** happens during those periods because our judgement is completely gone. I am just now coming to terms with the fact that this is my deal. I either abstain or lose control of it. There is no in between
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
you know enough is enough, it's just that you have a disease that tells you that NEXT TIME it will be different. that's why we need more than just our own rationality to put the drink behind us for good.
altho early sobriety can take some getting used to, we find that after time we really aren't missing a thing..........except for hangovers, regrets, poor health, self hatred, empty bank accounts, broken hearts, and the rest of the "fun".
altho early sobriety can take some getting used to, we find that after time we really aren't missing a thing..........except for hangovers, regrets, poor health, self hatred, empty bank accounts, broken hearts, and the rest of the "fun".
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 119
welcome!!!
you just listed many reasons why it is dangerous for you to drink, but i don't see anything good listed you say "in the last 4 years."
so, picture life 4 years from now and what you want it to look like.
keep on coming here, and you will find that the non-drinking you will be much happier. you have made a good choice coming here. there is a lot of wisdom and support.
you just listed many reasons why it is dangerous for you to drink, but i don't see anything good listed you say "in the last 4 years."
so, picture life 4 years from now and what you want it to look like.
keep on coming here, and you will find that the non-drinking you will be much happier. you have made a good choice coming here. there is a lot of wisdom and support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 121
K Smith, you described my relationship with alcohol to a tee.... I dont always overdue it when I drink, but ocassionally I get out of control and do irresponsible/dumb stuff... I have tried reasoning with myself for years because I was not a daily drinker and only "sometimes" get out of control when I drink.
I hate to say it, but we both know the truth. We both have problems with drinking, and the only solution is to stop completely.. You never know when that next jackpot will hit.. my next jackpot is always lurking in the distance, and I know with 100% certainty that if I keep drinking, that jackpot will arrive..
Think about all the good in your life? Do you want to lose it all over one dumb decesion? I know that I dont.
I hate to say it, but we both know the truth. We both have problems with drinking, and the only solution is to stop completely.. You never know when that next jackpot will hit.. my next jackpot is always lurking in the distance, and I know with 100% certainty that if I keep drinking, that jackpot will arrive..
Think about all the good in your life? Do you want to lose it all over one dumb decesion? I know that I dont.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by GoodLife32 
K Smith, you described my relationship with alcohol to a tee.... I dont always overdue it when I drink, but ocassionally I get out of control and do irresponsible/dumb stuff... I have tried reasoning with myself for years because I was not a daily drinker and only "sometimes" get out of control when I drink.
.
I hate to say it, but we both know the truth. We both have problems with drinking, and the only solution is to stop completely.. You never know when that next jackpot will hit.. my next jackpot is always lurking in the distance, and I know with 100% certainty that if I keep drinking, that jackpot will arrive..
Think about all the good in your life? Do you want to lose it all over one dumb decesion? I know that I dont.
.
I hate to say it, but we both know the truth. We both have problems with drinking, and the only solution is to stop completely.. You never know when that next jackpot will hit.. my next jackpot is always lurking in the distance, and I know with 100% certainty that if I keep drinking, that jackpot will arrive..
Think about all the good in your life? Do you want to lose it all over one dumb decesion? I know that I dont.
This has been weighing in me the last couple of years. Maybe it's a sign of age but every day I wake up after spinning the wheel I am mortified at the chance I took the night before
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 121
Originally Posted by Scramm
Good way to put it. The jackpot is always lurking. Spin the wheel and take a chance!
This has been weighing in me the last couple of years. Maybe it's a sign of age but every day I wake up after spinning the wheel I am mortified at the chance I took the night before
This has been weighing in me the last couple of years. Maybe it's a sign of age but every day I wake up after spinning the wheel I am mortified at the chance I took the night before
It amazes me the next morning thinking about the irresponsible chances I've taken.. i should be in jail 10× over, mugged, assaulted, divorced by my wife many times... my actions when drinking scare the crap out of me..
The crazy part is that when I'm sober, I am the most resposible, law abiding, considerate person out here...add about 10 beers I'm the complete opposite.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by GoodLife32
It amazes me the next morning thinking about the irresponsible chances I've taken.. i should be in jail 10× over, mugged, assaulted, divorced by my wife many times... my actions when drinking scare the crap out of me..
The crazy part is that when I'm sober, I am the most resposible, law abiding, considerate person out here...add about 10 beers I'm the complete opposite.
The crazy part is that when I'm sober, I am the most resposible, law abiding, considerate person out here...add about 10 beers I'm the complete opposite.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
You know, one line that still stands out to me from my first stay in rehab many years ago is, “it’s not how much or how often you drink, but what happens when you do.” I remember hearing a story about a man who drank once after a year of sobriety and got so wasted he woke up in another state with no recollection of getting there.
It’s great that you are here and that you are worried about YOU. It sounds like you are a bit scared and I know that feeling all too well. This is a great place to start if you are seriously considering not drinking anymore. I have 11 months now and am beyond grateful for every sober day I have. What’s the next step you can take to end this cycle for good?
It’s great that you are here and that you are worried about YOU. It sounds like you are a bit scared and I know that feeling all too well. This is a great place to start if you are seriously considering not drinking anymore. I have 11 months now and am beyond grateful for every sober day I have. What’s the next step you can take to end this cycle for good?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
