Anon88

Over the last few years I’ve seen my abuse of drugs and alcohol reach scary levels. Last thanksgiving I totaled my car going 90+ mph and walked away without a scratch. When that happened it made me open up to my parents about that and the 25k in debt I racked up from abusing alcohol. Two months ago I got pulled over (sober) but the cop found weed in my car and claimed I was DUI and arrested me. Two days in jail really made me realize how much I hated the way things were going. At this point in time I’m 29 and back living with my parents. I’m 2 months sober and going to treatment. Yesterday there was an overwhelming sense of boredom as I’ve been staying in every weekend the past two months. I started getting ready to go out and it felt like I wasn’t even controlling my body doing this. It was like my body was just moving me towards going out and I was like “is this really happening”. So I went out to a restaurant and had tacos and two beers. I ask for the check and the bartender (who was flirting with me) was like “did you say you wanted a margarita” and I caved and got one. That ended up turning into two margaritas, two more beers, and a shot of tequila. This was over the course of 4 hours. I was most likely over the limit and still drove 45 minutes back to the house. We live in a really small town and there is basically nothing to do or any things I haven’t done before that still excite me. This is the same scenario I went through when I wrecked my car. I’m basically bored to death and have no social life so I seek that out by going out and of course alcohol or drugs become involved. I don’t know what to do to find friends who avoid this lifestyle and I really don’t want to go to church right now.

biminiblue

Most people don't drink or will have one drink every now and then, but that's hard to believe when you're in the lifestyle.

There are likely AA meetings if you want people to help you who are sober.

Other than AA meetings, how about volunteering somewhere or taking some classes/courses in something that interests you. Kayaking, auto repair, archery, cooking, guitar, whatever you have wanted to do that you haven't done.

As far as that bartender flirting and that's why you kept drinking...I worked at a very busy bar for many years. I also worked in casinos. Flirting/friendliness is part of the job and keeps them spending.

Blueskies18

You did two months sober, that is excellent! All I can think to say is to think about what about you made you so strong and capable that you managed each day to stay sober.
I'm the wife of an alcoholic. He was sober 75 days, had six beers and has now been sober again for a few weeks. I wish I could make you and him do what I do (I force myself to take care of myself). But I'll start a new thread about that! Take care, I know you'll hear from people here who have been in your shoes and can offer some encouragement.

goodbyeevan

Been there! I'm 29 too. Wrecked my car 4 years ago and got a DUI and continued to drink and drive. Alcoholism = insanity. Im a risk taker and have an aversion to authority and loved to drink and often "felt fine" after 5 or 6 drinks. Unfortunately once in a while I'd have quite a few more than 5 or 6 and am grateful I only have one DUI and haven't killed anyone, unlike my alocholic MIL who killed a man last year in a head on collision. The 7 year old son in the back had to Have reconstructive surgery and is without a father. Whenever I think of drinking, I think of her. Almost 50, with nothing to show for it, facing serious jail time and a man's life forever on her conscience.

Sounds like AA would be helpful. It took a few months of going to different meetings to find the ones I liked and get a sponsor and make friends. I'm slowly getting there and was happy to finally discover some folks my age who are sober. There are a few rehabs and sober living homes in my area so I'm kind of lucky in that way. Many of them stay in the area after graduating. Now I really enjoy going, despite my anxiety about it. Each meeting it gets easier and feels more like home.

I read quite a few books and educated myself all about alcoholism before trying AA. That definitely helped. The more knowledge you have about the disease, the better.

2 months is excellent. I can't wait to be there. A few more weeks. Make sure you're doing it for yourself and not for anyone else. If alcohol still "works" for you, maybe you aren't ready. Alcohol stopped working for me. It didn't make things fun anymore, it didnt make things happier or easier, didn't relieve any pain. It flipped and started doing the opposite for me. Causing endless cycles of pain, misery, self pity, depression, etc. That's when I was truly ready. Good luck on your journey

Anna

I think that where you were, at 2 months sober, is a time for change. It's a point where stopping drinking is not enough. I think it's a time when you need to get out there and find things you enjoy doing that don't involve alcohol. You could get involved in volunteering in your community. Do you like sports? How about offering to coach a kids sports team? Reach deep and find what you love to do.

Rar

I'm sorry you relapsed Anon. I agree with the others in that you will have to reach deep to find either something you would like to do or something that you used to love that alcohol has kept you from continuing. Two months is some significant time. You can do it again.

D122y

Anon,

my tablet is acting up. Sorry if this ends up more disjointed than usual.

I needed a reason to quit...realized I had brain damage...then an education....sr.

after that it has been all about suffering. Suffering is part of normal life.

I am still getting used to it.

thanks.

Dee74

some great advice here Anon - welcome back.

if you think the problem is you're bored, find things to do - small town or not, you can think outside the box.

My brain got a little flabby by reaching for a bottle every time I wanted to 'have fun' but if I can change, so can you

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ething-do.html (Looking For Something To Do?)

Get active get involved

If after that you find you're still drinking, then maybe the roots go a little deeper than boredom, but only you can check that out.

D

Yixi

What people here, before me, have said. If you're constantly replacing other activities with the bottle - as I was too - it takes an effort to start getting up and about again as your AV had told you on so many numerous occasions that other activities weren't as fulfilling. It's a form of self conditioning and it suits that inner voice to keep hammering home that nothing outside of alcohol is as interesting. It's complete bulls**t but it suits anyone with a propensity for drinking to keep believing it until it becomes a self fulfilled prophecy every time you try to break the cycle.

I hear what you're saying about living in a small town. However - if nothing there excites could you try to make your own entertainment? Lost your love of reading? Try different books out of your comfort zone. Learn a new language. A new craft. A walk complete with a sketch pad or camera might be fun. Write a blog or check in on SR. You say that there's nothing to do that you haven't done before. Really? In the whole wide world? If you genuinely can't find anything at all in that small town might it be time to move?

I wish you great happiness going forward and I really hope that you take strength from the fact that you managed to kick the beast into touch for 2 months prior to this. You never know - you may be destined to be an acclaimed writer, photographer, artist and what a pity it would be to waste that staring at an empty bottle. Love to you x