daredevil

I go for the social component.

Reason being is that I’ve pretty much recovered what I’ve lost to the extent that I could. I can read literature on my own but I still like to socialize with like-minded people.

Just wondering why other people go to meetings and what benefit they get.

DontRemember

I don't go as often anymore,but that is part of why I go,when I do..Well...that and to hopefully help a newcomer with my drinking escapades..I also like to catch up with some of the guys that helped me F2F..

lessgravity

I go for similar reasons, though not at all because I am recovered. I go to be reminded about how universal this disease is - all walks of life, all ages etc. I find the shares, whether they are inspiring and funny (like one I heard yesterday) or self-indulgent and annoying, to be of use in some way every time. Even though I am not (yet?) working the steps and even though the notion of god is abstract to me at best, I find the community, the honesty, the sacrifice and both the failures and successes take me back to what needs to be the central focus of my days - sobriety.

August252015

I go because it's part of my recovery practice- lifestyle- which is daily, ongoing and as progressive as my active alcoholism was.

I go because I "want to have what [ ]" the people with decades of sobriety - or even just working strong programs with less sobriety- whom I want to resemble have.

I go to my home group in part for the socialization, friendship and the connection to people who "grew up like I did" - largely a group of the "haves and the have mores." I go to other meetings where I am pretty un-like most of the people there.

I go because I want to live, and my sweet spot of the meeting part of my life is 4-6 a week.

I go because I'm almost 26 mo sober (in one week) and I want to get to tomorrow, month 26 .... every day from here on til my finish line, which is dying sober.

And, I go when I want to and (most of the time) when I don't.

This works for me.

Fly N Buy

Where does one put a lamp, under a basket? ......we tried to carry this message to alcoholics,

The rest is gravy.

Maybe the question should be what can I give at meetings?


Best,
Fly

daredevil

What can someone 'give' at meetings, as a practical matter?
I've been to lots of meetings thus far, and I have yet to see anyone give anything of consequence (inconsequential service positions, aside).

There's an element of self-indulgence in giving, something of which I've always been wary.

DontRemember

I don't attend often enough for a service position,but I have given rides to/from, bought a weedeater and got the grass to grow back at my normal 'clubhouse'. I'd like to remodel the place,but don't currently have the extra time. The way I see it...they helped save/get my life back,so I do what I can for them out of gratitude.

Fly N Buy

We give/share our experience which leads to hope for the next alcoholic who comes in.

tomsteve

in meetings or out in the world, it feels good to help someone with no expectation of a return other than that feeling.
i had a hard time with it early on- wondered what people expected from me when they helped me.
turned out to they didnt want anything more than to help.

August252015

People can give by a way of living that shows the joy and peace and good things that come with recovery.

Sharing ESH is a gift.

Listening to the newcomer is a gift.

Greeting a newcomer after a meeting, congratulating them on milestones, gifts.

If you look from the perspective of giving, by example, effort or actions like those mentioned (rides and such), what can't you give?

CAC1013

I’m having challenges with attending meetings because I’m naturally shy and not very social. I’d love some encouragement around this. Is it normal to feel awkward and weird in the early meeting days? It often feels “clicky”. I hope I get over it.

tomsteve

it can feel that way. i have gone to meetings years sober and felt out of place. meetings can have a personality,imo. it might be wise to go to various meetings.

it can take time for people to warm up to someone new. i personally didnt talk to anyone before or after for a while. i didnt even stick around after or show up early for quite some time. well, id show up early, but sit in my car until just about meeting time.

my nickname in high school was shyboy. the steps helped me learn i wasnt shy; i was afraid of other peoples' opinion of me and had a horrible low self esteem.

daredevil

I felt out of place at pretty much any meeting I attended the first time. As time passed, I became more socially engaged at the meetings I attend. I derive more benefit from meetings when I'm social.

awuh1

I could NOT stay sober in the beginning. In and out of the rooms and often without saying a word to anyone when I attended. I could not get more than three months.

One day I dragged myself to a meeting. I had a big argument with myself before going. I didn't want to hear the same old things again. I didn't want to spend the time etc etc etc.

Finally I said to myself that I'd go on the off chance that I might be able to say something that could benefit someone.

As usual at that meeting they read "the daily reflection" and the person read that days date. I was shocked. At that moment I realized that I had achieved 4 months of sobriety. It was more time (continuously sober) than I had had in decades. Wow... So what was different about this time??? I could not pay any attention to the reading or what anyone said for the next 30 minutes or more. I was amazed. What was different this time?????

Finally I remembered what I was thinking as I debated with myself about going to that meeting. I had decided to go on the remote possibility I might be able to help someone else.

And thats why I'm posting this.

daredevil

Meetings have been incidental to my sobriety, not a causal factor. I've been thinking about this. Thanks for highlighting a salient point.

Ringo123

Some great posts here!

I've been going to meetings for over 31 years; I hope I never quit. As August wrote, it's part of my lifestyle. It's who I am. I go for support, fellowship and to give service.

And I go to be reminded what happens to people who quit going to meetings. (Those of us whose been around awhile have gone to funerals of those who quit going to meetings.)

Kdon853

Fortunate to live in Long Island,NY a lot of meetings here. My first 2 weeks I sat in the back by the door in case I wanted to run. Didn’t speak to anyone , had no social skills could only talk to people under the influence.
Found a home group , they made me coffee maker and greeter didn’t like greeting but got got to know people. Got 5 1/2 months. Attend 5-6 meetings a week, don’t think I answered the question though.