Questioning my relationship.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 3
Questioning my relationship.
I have been in CD outpatient treatment for almost 8 weeks (Sober date Feb 19th). All the while, I worked full time, school part-time, exercised regularly (I practice yoga daily), and navigated a relationship with an alcoholic who isn't ready to seek help yet.
My treatment has been good so far. I have had my moments. But I really want to work through my problems and that alone has helped me with the times that I really wanted to use.
My history- I started drinking/smoking pot/using aderall at the age of 13/14. I became a habitual marijuana smoker from nearly then on, only stopping last December when I met this man I'm currently dating. Marijuana was my way to escape my thoughts. Binge drinking, has been a regular part of my life. And cocaine use was a problem when I was younger, but I've stayed away from it the last year. I suppose this last year I was doing a lot of MDMA, nearly every weekend. That is a somewhat brief history, but basically I've loved the party drugs, and drinking. It helped me to fit in when I was a teenager feeling insecure. (I'm a extrovert btw)
What brought me here, is that I was google searching about dating in early recovery. I wondered if we should go to counseling to understand all the complexities that come with what I am dealing with. We both have our own problems with substances, and unfortunately he just isn't ready to stop. He laments that he isn't at the same place as me. Anyways, this google search brought me to this forum. I know that community helps those in recovery. So I decided to join.
I hope that everyone is having a safe Friday!
My treatment has been good so far. I have had my moments. But I really want to work through my problems and that alone has helped me with the times that I really wanted to use.
My history- I started drinking/smoking pot/using aderall at the age of 13/14. I became a habitual marijuana smoker from nearly then on, only stopping last December when I met this man I'm currently dating. Marijuana was my way to escape my thoughts. Binge drinking, has been a regular part of my life. And cocaine use was a problem when I was younger, but I've stayed away from it the last year. I suppose this last year I was doing a lot of MDMA, nearly every weekend. That is a somewhat brief history, but basically I've loved the party drugs, and drinking. It helped me to fit in when I was a teenager feeling insecure. (I'm a extrovert btw)
What brought me here, is that I was google searching about dating in early recovery. I wondered if we should go to counseling to understand all the complexities that come with what I am dealing with. We both have our own problems with substances, and unfortunately he just isn't ready to stop. He laments that he isn't at the same place as me. Anyways, this google search brought me to this forum. I know that community helps those in recovery. So I decided to join.
I hope that everyone is having a safe Friday!
Try posting this over in Newcomers forum where it will get more replies. 
This forum doesn't get much traffic.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
It may be worth looking into AlAnon to help you deal with living with your active alcoholic boyfriend. Unfortunately while he's still in active addiction counselling is likely to be fruitless, as active alcoholics are brilliant at denial and dishonesty (with themselves and others).
8 weeks is fairly early in recovery. The important thing for now is focussing on your own side of the street, maybe including AlAnon or similar.
It's likely to be useful to read the stickies and other posts in the Friends and Family area on here as well. https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/ There are some wise people in there.
Wishing you all the best with your recovery.
BB
8 weeks is fairly early in recovery. The important thing for now is focussing on your own side of the street, maybe including AlAnon or similar.
It's likely to be useful to read the stickies and other posts in the Friends and Family area on here as well. https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/ There are some wise people in there.
Wishing you all the best with your recovery.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 3
I read that once you are sober for a while that you start to become attracted to different people. Before my substance use got out of hand my therapist recommended ALAnon, and the meetings just don't work with my schedule.
I am in early recovery, I am excited that I took this step but at the same time it can be daunting.
I am in early recovery, I am excited that I took this step but at the same time it can be daunting.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Welcome and congratulations on your 8 weeks of recovery. It's good to stay focused on yourself as you are. I agree that counselling or AlAnon may be helpful for you to deal with your relationship with an addict.
And, yes, I did become attracted to different people (friends in my case, as I was married) and it wasn't something I expected.
And, yes, I did become attracted to different people (friends in my case, as I was married) and it wasn't something I expected.
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