Stew1984

Caught in a vice grip, drink numbs breakup hurt. Know I need to be drink free. So difficult

nez

When I first started seeking help with stopping drinking, it was a clue that drinking wasn't numbing the pain like I thought it was: it was only causing more pain.

Starsabove32

I just came across your posts. I've just ended a five year relationship also that wasn't doing me any favours. Feeling very down about it a month later now, but trying to remember that it is only temporary. I cannot go back. It's braver to go it alone. It was my birthday last week, and I did drink for it because I got so overwhelmed by it all. It did me zero favours. At all. I only know that drink will make things worse and I can't go back. So essentially things should get better. I wish you every success.

Nonsensical

Whose hand is turning the vice?

This could only happen for me when I became willing to experience ALL my feelings.

You might want to sit down and have a chat with that hurt. It isn't going anywhere until it has taught you everything you need to know.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

turniptheheat

What are you going to do differently today to make sure the same thing doesn't occur?

Forward12

What's been holding you back from going to rehab or at least AA stewy? You've been posting for at least 6 months the same things over and over yet still keep drinking.
It takes change to get change.

ScottFromWI

People are ready to help whenever you are ready to make the effort Stew. I am assuming you are drunk and likely won't be reading or remember much of this thread, but I do hope that you do decide to quit at some point.

DontRemember

What are you trying to hide/run from? Pain?Regrets? Time to own that stuff and man up! It's your life and obviously you can drink all you want,but don't complain about it. Own it. Whether you're owning and working towards sobriety and a more peaceful life on all fronts,or drinking your life away..own it.

FreedomCA

It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it?

SoberLeigh

Time to change things up, Stewy, really change things.

Time for some very, very proactive behaviors and endeavors.

AA - believe in a power higher than yourself - in conjunction with working the 12 steps

Inpatient rehab - I know you are against it but your measures so far have failed

Intensive outpatient rehab in conjunction with frequent counseling

Dean1978

Drink doesn't numb it, it just delays the inevitable of having to deal with it head on.

I lurk a lot but have seen a number of your posts the last week. Good luck on your journey, I hope you find the right recovery programme for you.

J50

Very true. You eventually have to face the music and when you do the pain will be much worse.

Alcohol is an enemy, not a friend.

entropy1964

Hey Stew
I'm sure this has been mentioned in the past but it seems that you believe your break up to be at the center of your drinking. I doubt that is actually the case. I believe you are an alcoholic whose sole coping mechanism is alcohol. The break up is simply another one of life's obstacles for which you are ill equipped to handle.

I believe that until you get very honest with yourself and stop using your break up as a justification for your drinking, you will keep drinking. You are drinking because you have untreated alcoholism. I know I'm being direct Stew but the break up isn't whats going on. The cycle you are caught in is justification.

Stew, EVERYONE goes through awful break ups....and often much worse. And this won't be the last very tough situation you will find yourself in. Developing coping mechanisms for simply adulting through life is a huge part of recovery.

At some point you are going to have to stop using the break up as your reason for drinking. And face the real reason. And get some help. I know heart break big time. I went through a divorce, my second husband died. I mean, the list could go on and on. I have learned that I drank through tough times because, well, I wanted to.

thomas11

I met a guy at caribou coffee this morning, he is in his 6th year of sobriety, I am in my second. We talked about many things but we also talked about a mutual friend of ours who had an alcohol related stroke 100 days ago. He recently was sent home, he sleeps 20 hrs a day, lost all his muscle, and his speech is messed up. Daily alcohol abuse can be a very dangerous game. Wish you the best.

Mac4711

Stew,
I think Frick totally nailed it: For 5 longs years I used the mother of all breakups as an excuse to keep drinking. Same as you, I drank not because of the breakup, but because I am an alcoholic.
It took me another 30 years to finally see the light - don’t be that guy! I wish you the best of luck!

Hevyn

The drinking is numbing you temporarily, but keeping you from feeling, healing, & moving ahead with your life. You're unable to mend from the breakup as long as you sabotage yourself this way. Please give yourself a chance, Stewy.

Stew1984

I’m going to end up dead at this rate. I’m sorry, Barrage of aa and smart no good. Listening to everyone else’s issues no good to me

tomsteve

what about this then, from about 24 hours ago:
My friends and family are a big source of support, they understand it’s been a rough time and I’m going to spend time with them and out of my own head

it seems it doesnt matter what anyone says- if what is said requires action, its no good and has been that way for a very long time,stewy.i dont know what any of us can say any more.

Carlotta

If you don't like support groups then head to the secular forum and read Freshstart57' s excellent thread on AVRT but do something.
Unless you take action and quit drinking, things are not going to change!

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ined-long.html (AVRT Explained (long))

Dee74

Some good advice here Stewy.
I really hope you make it out the other side of this.

I've lost good friends here - people I talked to everyday.

One of the hardest posts I ever had to read was from someone gutted that her kids would never know their grandad.

I'm genuinely concerned for you.

D