Appeal to those with 4,5 and 6 months sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 350
Appeal to those with 4,5 and 6 months sobriety
Hi there
I am heading from month 3 towards month 4 and my journey has been tough, 4 months will be virgin territory.
I know we are all different however I would like to ask for you to post what changes you felt recovery gave at
Month 4
Month 5
Month 6
I am heading from month 3 towards month 4 and my journey has been tough, 4 months will be virgin territory.
I know we are all different however I would like to ask for you to post what changes you felt recovery gave at
Month 4
Month 5
Month 6
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi Dusty, it is a while ago but I recall three important aspects as I entered my fourth month.
The first was that the booze problem had gone. I had some experiences around that time where I actually saw the reality of my old world. The bar which I thought was the centre of the universe where all life happened, I could suddenly see for what it was, a dump. I hade a deep and growing faith that I was on the right path.
The second was that the people around me seemed to notice a change in me before I was aware of it myself. Their reaction was positive and supportive.
The third thing was that I began to reintegrate into the mainstream of life. The compulsion to drink was gone, but there was a lot of physical and mental damage which took time to heal. I was able to work and support myself, I was able to live on my own without feeling lonely, I was able to make steady progress in all areas without the booze handicap. During months 4 onwards I began to have a little bit of a social life too.
I would summarise it as a change of direction. Changes and issues were not dramatic, just steady progress, growth and learning. And that feeling inside that ecpverything was going to be ok.
The first was that the booze problem had gone. I had some experiences around that time where I actually saw the reality of my old world. The bar which I thought was the centre of the universe where all life happened, I could suddenly see for what it was, a dump. I hade a deep and growing faith that I was on the right path.
The second was that the people around me seemed to notice a change in me before I was aware of it myself. Their reaction was positive and supportive.
The third thing was that I began to reintegrate into the mainstream of life. The compulsion to drink was gone, but there was a lot of physical and mental damage which took time to heal. I was able to work and support myself, I was able to live on my own without feeling lonely, I was able to make steady progress in all areas without the booze handicap. During months 4 onwards I began to have a little bit of a social life too.
I would summarise it as a change of direction. Changes and issues were not dramatic, just steady progress, growth and learning. And that feeling inside that ecpverything was going to be ok.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
For me, thinking too far in the future isn't helpful. I've learned that a year is nothing, but today is everything. That kind of thinking. Today is the great equalizer. Whatever is happening now is what I focus on and it is as it should be. Each day see incremental changes, as long as I stay sober.
Thinking too much about milestones creates expectations, at least for me. That there should be some kind of 'moment' or 'realization'. I do at times have those moments of grace, or God moments, ahah moments, but mostly its business as usual.
The longer I am sober, the less I struggle, with everything. I was a part of another forum years ago and a really cool guy there used the term 'sober equity'. The longer I go, the more sober equity I have. That equity becomes important and not something I wish to give up.
Thinking too much about milestones creates expectations, at least for me. That there should be some kind of 'moment' or 'realization'. I do at times have those moments of grace, or God moments, ahah moments, but mostly its business as usual.
The longer I am sober, the less I struggle, with everything. I was a part of another forum years ago and a really cool guy there used the term 'sober equity'. The longer I go, the more sober equity I have. That equity becomes important and not something I wish to give up.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
So, first thing: I have to comment strongly that everyone's experience in sobriety is their own. While we do have plenty of similarities - for example, I had similar to Gottalife AND Frick, so far in my (25 mo and change journey)- mine is not exactly the same as theirs has been- or yours will be.
Next, I hesitate to give specifics, mainly bc of my last sentence above. I can give you my ESH only, and I will add that my journey, and most of what I hear from others, is that recovery is absolutely NOT a linear process.
To be succinct - I saw and felt a large shift "forward" in most areas around 100 days, so early month 4. I also recall a weekish bout of great irritability in four. My energy improved in 5 and 6 as I went back to a serving job (three flights of stairs, full time and very active) yet I continued to take naps most days, as I do NOW and my life is even more full.
I could describe peaks - 7ish saw colds and strep running through my body as I bet my immune system etc was continuing to heal its first sober fall in years, 8 mo was great, 9 was a mixed bag emotionally, 10 I had a mild depression and saw me add a low dose anti depressant to my med regime, 12 was "big" yet just kind of OK because I KNEW it was coming. 13 was great. 17 threw me some emotional curveballs I definitely didn't expect. 23 was hopeful and expectant and 24 was great. The beginning of 25 was my worst point ever, just angsty and up and down. A few days from 26 things are great as some achievements had come to fruition that have long been in the works.
All that said, my thinking has continued to become clearer overall as Ihave learned to live a rich life in recovery. Challenges happen, whether emotional, physical and mental - yet life is always- ALWAYS- better sober.
To close- I will say keep going, expectations are your enemy, take it one day at a time literally when needed and as a type of Golden Rule and work on improving yourself as you can at your pace and every day.
Best to you.
Next, I hesitate to give specifics, mainly bc of my last sentence above. I can give you my ESH only, and I will add that my journey, and most of what I hear from others, is that recovery is absolutely NOT a linear process.
To be succinct - I saw and felt a large shift "forward" in most areas around 100 days, so early month 4. I also recall a weekish bout of great irritability in four. My energy improved in 5 and 6 as I went back to a serving job (three flights of stairs, full time and very active) yet I continued to take naps most days, as I do NOW and my life is even more full.
I could describe peaks - 7ish saw colds and strep running through my body as I bet my immune system etc was continuing to heal its first sober fall in years, 8 mo was great, 9 was a mixed bag emotionally, 10 I had a mild depression and saw me add a low dose anti depressant to my med regime, 12 was "big" yet just kind of OK because I KNEW it was coming. 13 was great. 17 threw me some emotional curveballs I definitely didn't expect. 23 was hopeful and expectant and 24 was great. The beginning of 25 was my worst point ever, just angsty and up and down. A few days from 26 things are great as some achievements had come to fruition that have long been in the works.
All that said, my thinking has continued to become clearer overall as Ihave learned to live a rich life in recovery. Challenges happen, whether emotional, physical and mental - yet life is always- ALWAYS- better sober.
To close- I will say keep going, expectations are your enemy, take it one day at a time literally when needed and as a type of Golden Rule and work on improving yourself as you can at your pace and every day.
Best to you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 350
Thank you for your detailed responses Gottalife, Frickflap, Rar, August and Daredevil.
Please do not worry I was not looking to set milestones just wanted to know other peoples experiences through those months that are in the future of my journey.
I appreciate the term sober equity my 3+ months may seem huge to some and tiny to others. To me 3 +months is precious and I will guard it like my own magic ring.
I can not go back any more, tried that and it doesn't work.
It feels to me like alcohols parting gift to me was supplying a protracted shot of mental and physical incapacitation everything became an energy sapping fight and since then although improvements have been coming, unwrapping the parcel is slow.
I feel like I have been dragging an anchor around with me thus far and really need to feel the chain break and the following rush of freedom. A renewal of the strength and the mental accuracy without all of the distracting chatter of self doubt.
I would love to hear more about peoples sober journey at months 4 ,5 and 6.
Call it what you like but I really need some fuel for my fire at the moment.
PLEASE POST!
Please do not worry I was not looking to set milestones just wanted to know other peoples experiences through those months that are in the future of my journey.
I appreciate the term sober equity my 3+ months may seem huge to some and tiny to others. To me 3 +months is precious and I will guard it like my own magic ring.
I can not go back any more, tried that and it doesn't work.
It feels to me like alcohols parting gift to me was supplying a protracted shot of mental and physical incapacitation everything became an energy sapping fight and since then although improvements have been coming, unwrapping the parcel is slow.
I feel like I have been dragging an anchor around with me thus far and really need to feel the chain break and the following rush of freedom. A renewal of the strength and the mental accuracy without all of the distracting chatter of self doubt.
I would love to hear more about peoples sober journey at months 4 ,5 and 6.
Call it what you like but I really need some fuel for my fire at the moment.
PLEASE POST!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I remember I started to feel more settled at 3 months. I felt as if I could actually do this sober thing and that feeling got stronger for the rest of my first year.
I felt like the unremitting grey of early recovery was finally giving way to some brilliant colours.
Keep going Dustitoffman - you're on the right road.
D
I felt like the unremitting grey of early recovery was finally giving way to some brilliant colours.
Keep going Dustitoffman - you're on the right road.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
I'm heading toward 4 months myself, Dusti, so I understand what you're saying. I feel the same way. For me it does seem the process is slow.
"everything became an energy sapping fight and since then although improvements have been coming, unwrapping the parcel is slow.
I feel like I have been dragging an anchor around with me thus far and really need to feel the chain break and the following rush of freedom. A renewal of the strength and the mental accuracy without all of the distracting chatter of self doubt.
"
"everything became an energy sapping fight and since then although improvements have been coming, unwrapping the parcel is slow.
I feel like I have been dragging an anchor around with me thus far and really need to feel the chain break and the following rush of freedom. A renewal of the strength and the mental accuracy without all of the distracting chatter of self doubt.
"
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 166
Hi Dustman, these were the highlights I can remember:
1) Feeling physically more able to exercise strenuously
2) Feeling irritable towards coworkers and work issues
3) Cutting off contact with some people with whom I had interacted daily due to familiarity and need for some type of "comfort"--when I realized they were just a waste of time (mainly talking about work-related acquaintances here)
4) Started feeling like expressing myself a bit more--more confidence and sense of self
1) Feeling physically more able to exercise strenuously
2) Feeling irritable towards coworkers and work issues
3) Cutting off contact with some people with whom I had interacted daily due to familiarity and need for some type of "comfort"--when I realized they were just a waste of time (mainly talking about work-related acquaintances here)
4) Started feeling like expressing myself a bit more--more confidence and sense of self
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
around 6 months sober was when i started to really get that this is a serious and fatal disease
serious - i started to notice that many but not yet most of the people who i got sober with were no longer around and were drinking again
fatal - a 25 year old girl who i had known then for a few months took a handful of pills and a bottle of jack and checked out
these experiences scared the crap out of me and drove me to follow direction ...
meetings
sponsor
steps
service
higher power
serious - i started to notice that many but not yet most of the people who i got sober with were no longer around and were drinking again
fatal - a 25 year old girl who i had known then for a few months took a handful of pills and a bottle of jack and checked out
these experiences scared the crap out of me and drove me to follow direction ...
meetings
sponsor
steps
service
higher power
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Arlington, Texas
Posts: 64
Today is my 123rd day sober. Some people say they don't count the days, they only count the months or years. But on some of those 123 days, I was counting seconds. Milliseconds even.
I'm dealing with things far better than I have in years, even really horrible things, and I'm starting to believe in my own strength and ability. But I still have the occasional random urge to just totally blow it and let myself and everyone I love down. I keep hoping that those random urges will just STOP, but I think it's something I'm going to have to be on guard against for a good long while.
It's still a bit of a roller coaster for me too. Sometimes my reactions to things are too much or not enough or just wrong (a client's wife had died and for some reason it sent me into the giggles. Thank God it hit him wrong in the same way at the same time). I think after decades of drinking, it will take me quite some time to know myself and how I really feel.
But the biggest change that came to pass after I hit about 110 days? Hope. A lot of it. And it seems to be intent upon hanging around.
So I'll check in at 150 days and 180 days and tell you how month 5 and 6 have been. You do the same!
I'm dealing with things far better than I have in years, even really horrible things, and I'm starting to believe in my own strength and ability. But I still have the occasional random urge to just totally blow it and let myself and everyone I love down. I keep hoping that those random urges will just STOP, but I think it's something I'm going to have to be on guard against for a good long while.
It's still a bit of a roller coaster for me too. Sometimes my reactions to things are too much or not enough or just wrong (a client's wife had died and for some reason it sent me into the giggles. Thank God it hit him wrong in the same way at the same time). I think after decades of drinking, it will take me quite some time to know myself and how I really feel.
But the biggest change that came to pass after I hit about 110 days? Hope. A lot of it. And it seems to be intent upon hanging around.
So I'll check in at 150 days and 180 days and tell you how month 5 and 6 have been. You do the same!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 763
Hi Dustitoffman, I'd say that after about three or four months after getting sober I started feeling better. The initial fatigue was gone and I no longer felt I have a cold all the time, so I guess my immune system had started to recover.
When I had been sober for about half a year, I was happy to realize that my memory hadn't gone for good. Stress and fatigue still cause me memory problems, but it's nothing like those first six months when I forgot practically everything.
When I had been sober for about half a year, I was happy to realize that my memory hadn't gone for good. Stress and fatigue still cause me memory problems, but it's nothing like those first six months when I forgot practically everything.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 350
Thank you for all posting on this thread.
I very much appreciate the help at this point.
Dee, Rar, Eaglelizard, January, FlawedNFntastic and Plop.
Subtle changes yes very subtle sometimes they are not even noticed for a while.
I have forced the issue with exercise where it used to come easy, however lately I have noticed that I am craving yes you heard it craving a change towards cardio i feel the need to do sweat and lung related exercise.
I am being directed internaly on this so I am just going to go with it.
I think it gives a good chemical release or something.
SERIOUS OR FATAL DISEASE absolutely. You don't even know how far down the rabbit hole you have fallen till you try to quit then it's there like a Doberman guard dog that doesn't want you to get away!
That's what scared the crap out of me, realisation of how stuck in a perpetual cycle I had really become.
Hope is something that has started to emerge from the grey mist it's not strong but it's there and it's welcomed.
Tension in my body seems to be releasing slightly. It has had a firm grip since stopping but it appears to be easing slightly from my neck, shoulders and body this to i am truly thankful for.
I think my body has been on high alert or panic mode and this appears to be starting to abate.
Milestones I have a few coming up 111 days my previous longest sobriety is just around the corner.
So FlawedNFntastic, Rar and anyone else that is up for it. 120 days, 150 days and 180 here we come. I will keep posting if you will😳
I very much appreciate the help at this point.
Dee, Rar, Eaglelizard, January, FlawedNFntastic and Plop.
Subtle changes yes very subtle sometimes they are not even noticed for a while.
I have forced the issue with exercise where it used to come easy, however lately I have noticed that I am craving yes you heard it craving a change towards cardio i feel the need to do sweat and lung related exercise.
I am being directed internaly on this so I am just going to go with it.
I think it gives a good chemical release or something.
SERIOUS OR FATAL DISEASE absolutely. You don't even know how far down the rabbit hole you have fallen till you try to quit then it's there like a Doberman guard dog that doesn't want you to get away!
That's what scared the crap out of me, realisation of how stuck in a perpetual cycle I had really become.
Hope is something that has started to emerge from the grey mist it's not strong but it's there and it's welcomed.
Tension in my body seems to be releasing slightly. It has had a firm grip since stopping but it appears to be easing slightly from my neck, shoulders and body this to i am truly thankful for.
I think my body has been on high alert or panic mode and this appears to be starting to abate.
Milestones I have a few coming up 111 days my previous longest sobriety is just around the corner.
So FlawedNFntastic, Rar and anyone else that is up for it. 120 days, 150 days and 180 here we come. I will keep posting if you will😳
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Yes, Dusti - Lung related exercise helps me too. It was a huge help with me quitting smoking. I needed something in my lungs - why not put in air?
I found chamomile and sleepytime tea help with the anxiety (breathing) difficulties even in the daytime.l .
The good thing is that we're not at the beginning.
.
I found chamomile and sleepytime tea help with the anxiety (breathing) difficulties even in the daytime.l .
The good thing is that we're not at the beginning.
.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Hi there. I'm at just over 6 months and finally I can feel a shift in my anxiety, and that is despite some real sh*t going on at the moment. Finally!! I am still on a low dose anti depressant for anxiety but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That is the major change for me.
Not drinking is just the way it is for me now, I don't crave it. I still have my moments, don't get me wrong, but I do the "play the tape forward" and realise that thinking is flawed, I don't need alcohol.
I still see drinking a lot around me, e.g. Just noticed people drinking red wine on a cookery programme, but all I thought was, "bloody hell, it's only 11.30am!!"
My new addiction? Tea! Off to make a cup!
Good luck and keep going.
Not drinking is just the way it is for me now, I don't crave it. I still have my moments, don't get me wrong, but I do the "play the tape forward" and realise that thinking is flawed, I don't need alcohol.
I still see drinking a lot around me, e.g. Just noticed people drinking red wine on a cookery programme, but all I thought was, "bloody hell, it's only 11.30am!!"
My new addiction? Tea! Off to make a cup!
Good luck and keep going.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 853
I think milestones are important especially in the early stages. At first I counted days, then weeks, then months and now years. I have an app on my phone that can count seconds since I stopped if I feel the urge!
The main thing for me though as someone earlier in the thread said is just not to think too far into the future and just stay focused in the present.
One of the hardest moments I had was as I reached a year sober, I don't know what I expected but the weeks surrounding the anniversary were very difficult. It was my own fault for placing too much significance on the date and it was a good reminder to just keep taking one day at a time and not worry about how i'll feel after a year, two, five etc.
But to answer your specific question, I think my thoughts around 4/5/6 months were that being sober started to feel normal and I had some clarity in my thinking again. It was still very raw for me and I was fighting my beast on an hourly basis, but it never got the upper hand.
The main thing for me though as someone earlier in the thread said is just not to think too far into the future and just stay focused in the present.
One of the hardest moments I had was as I reached a year sober, I don't know what I expected but the weeks surrounding the anniversary were very difficult. It was my own fault for placing too much significance on the date and it was a good reminder to just keep taking one day at a time and not worry about how i'll feel after a year, two, five etc.
But to answer your specific question, I think my thoughts around 4/5/6 months were that being sober started to feel normal and I had some clarity in my thinking again. It was still very raw for me and I was fighting my beast on an hourly basis, but it never got the upper hand.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
I'm at 14 months but I remember how I felt at 4 months and it was still really hard for me. Things were probably getting easier around 6 months but I didn't really notice until around 7.
At 4 months I was feeling like I tried to swim across a lake that was too big for me to cross. I was nearing the middle of the lake and feeling like I couldn't make it. I'd look back where I came from and it looked like a storm so I knew there was no turning back. I just kept my head down and kept plodding along not drinking. Eventually I made it across that lake.
At 4 months I was feeling like I tried to swim across a lake that was too big for me to cross. I was nearing the middle of the lake and feeling like I couldn't make it. I'd look back where I came from and it looked like a storm so I knew there was no turning back. I just kept my head down and kept plodding along not drinking. Eventually I made it across that lake.
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