vinono

So after MANY failed attempts to quit drinking and after 15 years of drinking at least 1 bottle of wine a night, which has in the last year increased to two, and also started smoking 5 or so a day cigarettes I am attempting to stop both.

I actually don't plan on being completely teetotal as I hope to eventually get to a stage where I can have a social drink!!! But that may be a long way off, so for now the hope is to stop drinking on my own at home which is the biggest problem.

I did manage 5 days off a couple of weeks ago and hanging on to how good it felt, I want to use this for inspiration.

April 12th is the date I will try to remember as the day things changed.

I'll be on here a lot while i attempt it this time, looking for support when times are tough (which will start at about 8pm tonight (my drinking time)

Wish me luck!

goodbyeevan

I wish you the best of luck on your abstinence for the time being. I wish I could drink socially, I just know myself and know I have to have more than 2 or 3 drinks when I go out. I always will. Jealous of the people who can! Interestingly i read Kelsey grammar was in recovery and AA and he drinks responsibly it seems now. My hat is off to him and maybe you one day! For now enjoy not drinking! I'm willing to bet your body will thank you immensely in short order if you give it the chance!

least

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

vinono

Thanks guys

columbus

Congrats on choosing to get a grip on this!

However...

"I actually don't plan on being completely teetotal as I hope to eventually get to a stage where I can have a social drink!!!"

I'd like to suggest that you do a lot of reading around on this site. There are so many tales of people who tried just that... and failed (to put it mildly).

But good for you to be starting your journey!

Angeloflight

Sending you support and strength !!

Agree with above, be careful with that idea that tells you, you will eventually get to a place where you believe you can have a social drink.

I tried to do this many a time. It maybe worked once and then my addict voice was like “see!! You can do it !!” And the 2nd time, didn’t go so well, then I’m back in a relapse spiral. Just be careful and know that it’s playing with fire.

Check in, and you can absolutely do this. I quit smoking after 14 years and it’s very very possible!!! 🦋🌷🍃

ReadyAtLast

Have you ever tried to just drink socially before ?did it work ? It works for me once or twice then it doesn't and I'm back to 1 bottle a night at least as well.

In my experience if we are on here and have a problem it's because we have tried social drinking moderation everything really but nothing works. Except quitting completely.

Soberween

Pretty sure once you are a pickle, you can't go back to being a cucumber so I'm not sure how you plan to go back to drinking socially after 15 years of daily drinking.

Berrybean

Glad you're here and looking for sobriety for the immediate future. I'd suggest not thinking too much about the forever aspect just now, as the fear around forever can easily dampen our resolve for today, which is always the only day we can work on. Our power is in right now. This instant. We are powerless to change what we did yesterday, and can only change tomorrow when we get there. But right now we can do the next right thing. Like it says in AAs Just for Today 'Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime. '

When 8pm comes around you can choose to sit there thinking about that drink you're not having, or you could do something different. Maybe write a gratitude list. Or go for a walk. Or listen to some music that cheers you up. Or phone someone who you love, and you know loves you. Or go to an AA meeting. Others will also be able to offer suggestions if you get stuck for ideas.

Anyway. I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB


AA Just for Today...

JUST FOR TODAY
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY
Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will strengthen my mind.
I will study I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer.
I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will exercise my soul in three ways, I will do someone a good turn, and NOT get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I dont want to do just for exercise
I will not show anyone my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will be agreeable, I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests, hurry and indecision.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour sometime, I will try and get a better perspective of my life.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

ClearPath64

Thanks so much for sharing that BB. Just beautiful.

FreeOwl

Your post title and content are in diametric opposition to one another.

just for the record, as long as I kept thinking this:

"I actually don't plan on being completely teetotal as I hope to eventually get to a stage where I can have a social drink!!! But that may be a long way off, so for now the hope is to stop drinking on my own at home which is the biggest problem."

I kept on making my life progressively worse with alcohol.

In my experience, letting go of that notion of "some day" and grabbing on to the vision of a SOBER LIFE was what totally changed my life for the better.

I miss drinking exactly not at all.

Everything is better.

May you discover the same.

Dee74

I wasted 20 years trying to turn myself into a normal drinker. Looking back I was never a normal drinker - I drank to get wasted.

If your relationship with alcohol is toxic like mine I really believe the best thing you can do is walk away and never look back vinono.

D

Rar

I wish you the best Vinono. I could drink socially and frequently didn't drink at all during those times. However, at home alone was when I drank and drank and drank. Even if I were to have one drink in a social setting, I would want to drink more when I got home and my alco-beast would be engaged again.

D122y

Viv,

Ime...when that 5th day rolled around and i decided i felt great....i was really craving like i couldn't breath.

As 10 days, 30 days, 80 days rolled around....i was going insane. I wanted booze so badly. I would think....nobody will know. I could sneak this.

But, i was also tormented w agoraphobia, brain zaps, and panic attacks. More things as well.

I suffered like i was in a filth ridden 120 degree bed of thorns, off and on, for many months.

It took well over 1 year to see big improvement. Little stuff happened on and off from day 1 forward. So i had faith.

I could have easily went to the Dr. and got some rx meds, anti physco/depression type, but i didn't. I suffered.

I still have some ptsd from that hell. But, i am better.

That hell is one i never want to visit again. I never want booze in my body again.

I have slipped, but i didn't keep drinking to get drunk. I will never slip again. If not for SR, i would be drinking today. I am positive.

Stay clean.

Thanks.

AM100

Normal drinking ( having just 1 or 2 of any kind of alcohol ) is the hardest thing I've ever tried in my life. To me it's like the carrot ( or bottle ) on a stick right in front of me and I'd dive off a cliff to reach it.

Even in my early teens I couldn't drink that way, I'm 38 now, no way I could learn that behavior at this point.

Caralara144

I agree with everyone who has posted

I thought I to could one day be a social drinker ...
There's more chance of me flying to the moon and back !!!!
The more sober time you have the more you realise Alcohol is your enemy not your friend 😢
It destroys everything in its path
Once you break free
Why would you want to go back down that path again.....
I wish you well in your journey
Best of luck x

vinono

I have read through all the comments here and thank you to everyone for the support, feels great Yes I agree with you all on the point that maybe returning to social drinking only will be impossible or at least a challenge. I guess taking it one day at a time is the way to go!!

Thanks everyone

Rar

Yup - it will be impossible. Why give yourself so much as a challenge to even try to drink socially?

"So after MANY failed attempts to quit drinking and after 15 years of drinking at least 1 bottle of wine a night, which has in the last year increased to two, and also started smoking 5 or so a day cigarettes I am attempting to stop both."

tomsteve

if it was possible to have a "social drink" i think you would have been able to do that already.
ever have times you planned on only having a couple but couldnt?

columbus

"So after MANY failed attempts to quit drinking and after 15 years of drinking at least 1 bottle of wine a night, which has in the last year increased to two"

What possible interest could you possibly have for having a glass of wine or two as a "social drinker"?

What would be the point?

What would be the accomplishment?