anonee

I've read a lot of forums but this is my first time posting.. I consider myself very proud and independent but I'm also smart enough to see I need help

So my OH works in a bar and has a few drinks (2/3 shots and 4/5 beers- some days more some days less) after work to 'wind down' he works 6xnights/week. He doesn't drink on his day off.

I've only just realised he has an alcohol problem and it's not just a cultural thing (I come from a family of very occasional drinkers and moved to a location where drinking is the predominant culture.. I am a very occasional drinker myself so it was hard for me to judge what is 'normal')

I realised it was a problem because I am continuously caring for our 3 m/o son as OH is either working, out drinking, out cold asleep or too hungover to care for our child.

How do I bite the bullet and take the next step to resolving the situation? (I am prepared to be a single mum/ move country to be around family/ support him through recovery/ whatever it takes for my son to have a good life)

As in.. how do you swallow your pride, stop playing happy families to your friends and family, support yourself financially with a young baby, issue ultimatums etc I have no idea how to proceed.. only that I need to

Any advice appreciated TIA

Background info
No he is not abusive but I wouldn't rule it out as a future possibility
We have been together 18mths
We live in a separate country from our family and are from 2 different countries ourselves
I'm 30 he's 27
I have located our nearest al-anon group but don't have the courage to go!!!

fini

anonee,
welcome.
the people in alanon will be people in places like the one you're in, and those in worse, and those that have found a solution there and are wanting to share that with you if you are interested.
you may be proud and independent, but you're also scared.
and smart to look for help.
i suggest checking out the Friends and Family forums farther down to connect with others.
i know about swallowing pride. it doesn't taste good. often, it's better to just drop it, then you don't need to swallow it.

imo there is no "supporting him" unless and until you see him putting the effort into changing. if you feel safe approaching this subject with him, do.
if he is not interested or does not follow through, then you have a better idea where his priority is right now.
sorry for the pain that brings you here, and glad for you that you are determined to change things for you and your baby.

Forward12

This really would be the first place to start. New things often are scary, but you'll feel a million times better once you go.

anonee

Thanks guys it is just getting the courage to do it.. I managed to move country by myself but can't bring myself to go to the next town across! But I will. Especially since you've both said the same thing this is what I need to do
Thanks again and best of luck to you in your own journeys