A reflection for you
A reflection for you
Been on vacation a while.
Catching up with a very old friend. A brother-at-heart.
As kids, we did simple adventurous things together. We fished. We camped. We bodysurfed at night in thunderstorms. We built forts. We hiked. We rode bikes and told jokes and played football and skateboarded and skipped rocks and canoed and hung out.
We never drank. We never did drugs. He wasn't one of those. I was doing it all by 14, but not him. And so, when it was him and I - I wasn't doing those things.
Over the years, maybe once or twice we had a beer together as adults - but mostly, our times together were sober. Looking back, he just might be my only friend I can say that of. Pretty sure he is.
And so here on vacation, after not seeing him for a few years, we were likewise and once again just hanging out. Adventuring a little. Catching up. Laughing and talking and - more wonderfully - watching our children play together like we did when we were kids. Carefree. Beach-running, shore-dashing, wave-riding, sleepover-ing. Dancing on the sand together in the moonlight. All of us sober and all of us having beautiful times together.
A lifetime friendship that was never about alcohol or drugs and never will be.
A friendship that began in childhood - back before I 'needed' drugs or alcohol. And lasting until I once again didn't need (or want) them anymore.
It sure is a poignant reminder of what a lie alcohol and drugs are. What a distraction from what matters. What a waste.
This is the stuff, my friends.
This is the stuff.
PS - I love you.
May you go to bed sober tonight, and may tomorrow be another sober day to cherish.
Catching up with a very old friend. A brother-at-heart.
As kids, we did simple adventurous things together. We fished. We camped. We bodysurfed at night in thunderstorms. We built forts. We hiked. We rode bikes and told jokes and played football and skateboarded and skipped rocks and canoed and hung out.
We never drank. We never did drugs. He wasn't one of those. I was doing it all by 14, but not him. And so, when it was him and I - I wasn't doing those things.
Over the years, maybe once or twice we had a beer together as adults - but mostly, our times together were sober. Looking back, he just might be my only friend I can say that of. Pretty sure he is.
And so here on vacation, after not seeing him for a few years, we were likewise and once again just hanging out. Adventuring a little. Catching up. Laughing and talking and - more wonderfully - watching our children play together like we did when we were kids. Carefree. Beach-running, shore-dashing, wave-riding, sleepover-ing. Dancing on the sand together in the moonlight. All of us sober and all of us having beautiful times together.
A lifetime friendship that was never about alcohol or drugs and never will be.
A friendship that began in childhood - back before I 'needed' drugs or alcohol. And lasting until I once again didn't need (or want) them anymore.
It sure is a poignant reminder of what a lie alcohol and drugs are. What a distraction from what matters. What a waste.
This is the stuff, my friends.
This is the stuff.
PS - I love you.
May you go to bed sober tonight, and may tomorrow be another sober day to cherish.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 23
Thank you so much for your lovely post and good wishes. I send thanks every night for another day of sobriety. I heard recently that the worst part of passing over to the other side won’t be as much the list of our sins per se, but more the list of our missed opportunities. Boy, did I have a lot of those when I was drinking... Imagine the times we can have now sober, that we can actually remember, and look back on fondly.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Beautiful, heartfelt post, FreeOwl . It really resonated with me. I struggled with alcohol addiction for years, trying one method after another; sinking deeper, feeling hopeless and helpless.
Then I worked a program where I was taught that I was powerless and asked to note the similarities and not the differences.....and I saw all the similarities, but they occurred after I became addicted.
I left the program, defeated and continued researching, studying alcohol addiction and how to stop. One day, instead of focusing on the addicted decades (believing I was doomed to die an addict) I suddenly remembered that as a child/teenager I wasn’t addicted - I was full of life and hope and possibilities. That thought created a spark of hope within me, that I could reset and stop the addiction clock.
I joined SR in February 2016, and my spark was fanned by SR members, who taught me a technique. That technique, plus my leap of faith that it would work, gave me back my freedom in September 2016.
I drank so much I became physically dependant, every night I’d swear I’d taper and stop in a few days and every morning I’d drink to alleviate the withdrawals. It was a living hell. I was feeding an addiction. I was an unwilling slave to the AV.
I wasn’t born an addict; I drank so much I became addicted. I gained my freedom from addiction by learning how to recognise, detach from and ignore my Addictive Voice. The AV that lied to me, that said I needed a drink as a solution to every feeling: happy, excited, sad, bored, depressed, angry and disillusioned.
I still wonder how I fell into the addiction trap; but in a wierd way, I’m almost glad (despite the years, people and things lost to addiction) because I feel renewed, rebooted, rejuvenated and my childlike spirit once again revels in the small wonders of life.
If I can achieve this, you can too, whatever method, technique, program, tools or plan you apply.
Then I worked a program where I was taught that I was powerless and asked to note the similarities and not the differences.....and I saw all the similarities, but they occurred after I became addicted.
I left the program, defeated and continued researching, studying alcohol addiction and how to stop. One day, instead of focusing on the addicted decades (believing I was doomed to die an addict) I suddenly remembered that as a child/teenager I wasn’t addicted - I was full of life and hope and possibilities. That thought created a spark of hope within me, that I could reset and stop the addiction clock.
I joined SR in February 2016, and my spark was fanned by SR members, who taught me a technique. That technique, plus my leap of faith that it would work, gave me back my freedom in September 2016.
I drank so much I became physically dependant, every night I’d swear I’d taper and stop in a few days and every morning I’d drink to alleviate the withdrawals. It was a living hell. I was feeding an addiction. I was an unwilling slave to the AV.
I wasn’t born an addict; I drank so much I became addicted. I gained my freedom from addiction by learning how to recognise, detach from and ignore my Addictive Voice. The AV that lied to me, that said I needed a drink as a solution to every feeling: happy, excited, sad, bored, depressed, angry and disillusioned.
I still wonder how I fell into the addiction trap; but in a wierd way, I’m almost glad (despite the years, people and things lost to addiction) because I feel renewed, rebooted, rejuvenated and my childlike spirit once again revels in the small wonders of life.
If I can achieve this, you can too, whatever method, technique, program, tools or plan you apply.
FreeOwl, thank you for that post. It has really brightened up my morning!!
Tatsy, I really relate to your response. That kind of thought process is working for me at the moment as well
Have a great day all.
Tatsy, I really relate to your response. That kind of thought process is working for me at the moment as well
Have a great day all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 29
A beautiful post. Thank you. As I'm approaching 18 months sober, it is really important for me to appreciate and show gratitude (as well as not forgetting the hell). The best bit, for me, about recovery is being me again. The simple things. I missed them all.
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