tedsie096

Borrowed this from Mindfulman in another post. I thought this was a powerful message that stands on its own.

"White knuckling is abstinence, there needs to be sobriety, as abstinence alone is a terrible place to live."

August252015

Agree a million bajillion percent and times over.

And the second part I'd add is - we simply do not have to white knuckle it, go it alone, any of that. Whether it is AA or not (my choice) - others can and will help, and external strength from people and a program (and my HP) led me and keep me in a lifestyle of recovery. Way different than just being sober.

My wish for everyone who needs it is a life in recovery.

MindfulMan

Why thanks!

Agree a bizillion times with August as well. There is no need to do this alone.

In my case it was finding my authentic inner voice, but in a lot of ways that's really not so different from a HP. This would not have occurred without a lot of help, support and compassion from a number of people. Two rehabs, a psychiatrist, various therapists, three different 12 Step fellowships and one inter-fellowship group (with two home groups), the Buddha, SMART, AVRT, and last but not least the folks here at Sober Recovery, most def including the mods and admins that make this possible.

I've read that 60% of people who get and remain sober do so without the use of a program or group.

I have a feeling there are a lot of abstinent people out there, rather than sober people.

daredevil

As I see it, abstinence and sobriety is the same thing. The pertinent distinction is between sobriety and recovery.

tedsie096

No matter the specific words, abstinence, recovery, sobriety. The lesson I got when I read this is that there are two ways for me to approach my journey. One is the white knuckle, I'm being punished but I can do this.(that's been my attitude before when I tried to quit. That hasn't worked for me).. Or the celebration of the freedom I will gain from not complicating my life with booze. Things get tough sometimes and me making a decision to no longer add a layer of post drunken anxiety and despair to my problems is something I'm excited about.

dwtbd

The best chance for winning(however you define it ) is Quitting !
Quit!
Win!

Notsodrunk

I’ll still take being a dry drunk over a drunk drunk

Vandermast

yes thanks for the pertinent reminder

white knuckling sux arse

recovery takes work to maintain a positive state of mind but is worth it.

D122y

Ted,

Ime....the longer i abstain, the more sober i become.

I get more stable and content by the moment.

For me...exercise is my new drug.

There is no magic that occurs.

For me...it has been time and suffering.

Eventually, every addict must suffer. There is no easy.way out.

Thanks.

soberlicious

I have found such joy in taking my life back. Permanent abstinence has brought me an inexplicable freedom. <3

MindfulMan

Not by a lot, although it is an improvement.

They're both pretty miserable. Hopefully the dry drunk stage will be a stepping stone to sobriety. Hope you're sleeping better...that vampire sleep can be terrifying.

Abstinence is not drinking. Sobriety and recovery involve building a life you like better that doesn't contain substance use.

Notsodrunk

Still hard to get up but it’s improving. Working the early shift and getting up at 3am certainly adds its challenges but thankful for a job. Thank you.

tomsteve

in a sense i agree and in a sense i dont.
there are some people that are able to abstain and get on with a nice life.

there are alcoholics that abstinence just makes a dry drunk. a visit to the friends and family forum here shows many,many examples of that.

myself, abstinence wasnt enough. i had very short intervals of not drinking in my past and those times i was a miserable SOB. i needed more than to not drink to have freedom.

Nonsensical

This.

Abstinence + More Work = Happy Life

That pancake is quite thin, but it still has two sides.

daveglass1

And - the simpleton of simpletons is just not up to the ins and outs of which one is what.
Not drinking - happy - better off all round - glad to be around to be a part of this great network.
Happy Tuesday
Dave 🤠

MindfulMan

Abstinence + more sex + more music + more joy = happy life

daveglass1

Be Mindful Man - some of us have gone off sex 🤠

Nonsensical

I probably should have been more clear:
more work = more work on self = more work on being a better me
Abstinence + More Work on Being a Better Me = Happy Life

Arpeggioh

Thank you for a simple formula that makes sense, and doesn't send the common message that I'm "doing it wrong!"

The semantics over words like abstinent, sober, recovering, dry...I find those discussions very disheartening. For some of us, not drinking is enough, believe it or don't. My knuckles are not white, I'm not barely hanging on, I don't kick puppies, or cry myself to sleep -- I just don't drink alcohol anymore, and I never will again. While it's only been a year, I can say that with confidence because I feel its truth in my heart.

Rar

I agree. I had an absolutely horrible day yesterday and I became more depressed as the day went on and considered drinking several times throughout the day. I thought, "surely I'm doing this wrong". I was going minute by minute and hour by hour. Today is Day 92 .