Jayne17

Hi all, I suffer terrible with hangover anxiety from occasional binge drinking. It is horrific, I replay the night over in my head convincing myself that everybody hated me and thinks I am a fool I shake I shudder, it stops me in my tracks. The obvious choice would be to stop drinking but I have not have much success, I get carried away quite easily and have a fantastic time but then have to deal with a tough next day. My symptoms are consistent suicidal thoughts, severe shaking, and inability to function. Anyone have any advice?

NoBones

I always feel the same as you when I binge. It's horrible. But, you already know this is a cycle. You know you will feel better in a day or two and by next weekend you will be ready to do this all over again.

Do you really want to stop? It's incredibly hard and takes your full commitment. The fact that you are here tells me that you are at least ready to try.

The experienced members here are GREAT. They can help you make a plan. And everybody here will support you. Give it a go!

Jayne17

Thank you for your reply, I had been reading through forums and realised binge drinking is a problem. I don’t frequently do this and never considered it a problem and just dealt with the cycle but I am starting to see today that I have to treat the problem because things are so severe today there are extremely dark thoughts each time seems more horrific than the next, I am so wound up I have taken benzodiazepines which I don’t take regularly and they have barely taken the edge off, I joined here to keep myself chatting because things are brutal in my head at the moment.

NoBones

There is a live chat in the bottom right corner that is very friendly if you feel like talking. Just click the little '<' and click the chat rooms icon, then choose 'Recovery Connections'

If you don't feel like it, no probs

Gottalife

By" carried away" do you mean that once you start drinking, you lose control of how much you drink?

Snowydelrico

Heebee jeebee’s & paranoid mumbling.
The brain is programmed to forget pain.
Maybe write down your thoughts and feelings for the next time you think about getting carried away.
Prevention is the cure.
In this case the prevention sounds like abstinence , sounds like you already know deep down.

I’m sure some of the others will provide you with some guidance.

P.s. chances are, nobody is thinking what you think they are thinking about you.
People are just getting on with their lives.

Take it easy it will pass

Pulaski

Jayne, you've got to decide if the after effects are worth the fantastic time you say you have. From what you say it sounds like it isn't worth it. Apart from the possible physical harm, it sounds like the binges are seriously affecting your mental well being, which can't be good. I would also be very careful with benzos, as you probably know they can be very addictive.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do; there is a lot of help on this fantastic site.

Forward12

I assume by having that medication, you already have a pretty bad anxiety disorder to begin with. I have one as well and the day after hard drinking, I would be in the most horrific anxiety/panic for the entire day and often times for days afterwards.
The best option really is to put the bottle down. The couple hours of "fun" just isn't worth the absolute hell you have to pay for it.

Berrybean

Yeah. The whole getting carried away thing. The way to avoid that is just don't take the first drink. Ever. Not necessarily easy, but certainly simple enough.
If there are places and situations you only enjoy being in when you're drink, chances are that you don't really like those places and situations and would be better off doing something that IS in your sober comfort zone.

By the way, there are plenty of people in AA whose drinking manifested as binge drinking that gradually got more problematic. You would be made very very welcome at any meeting. I used to think that to be an alcoholic you had to drink daily, and perhaps wear really scruffy clothes and smell a bit skanky. That is not the case. I now haven't drank for 4 years and a month. But I know that if i went for a drink at lunch time I'd quickly find myself in the same old chaos. Because it's not how often I drink that makes me an alcoholic, but the affect it has on me once I start drinking. And when I am regularly using the compulsion to take that drink can seem pretty overwhelming (that dies off the longer we stay sober). There is also the tendency to think of alcohol as the solution to the very problems that is creates, such as anxiety, shame, fear, etc.

Anyway. Glad you found us. I hope that you will decide to get rid of that false-friend, alcohol.

BB

D122y

Jayne,

I learned that there are things I am not trained to assess.

Someones mental state is a big one. If you are suicidal at times, I hope you are getting pro help.

Regarding rx meds and drinking. I never did that but I heard it is a whole new level of addiction and the recovery is a worse hell on earth.

ime...recovery is about suffering. I hear that going to AA meetings help. Working the steps with a sponsor makes things easier.

I got this clean by coming to SR and suffering through the craves and brain damage I gave myself drinking like a fish for 30 plus years.

I have come so far. I was thinking yesterday as I drove home from work how terrifying driving was for a while. I would have sweaty palms and a racing heart.

I suffered through and now those issues are nearly gone. There is still some anxiety when I drive, but since it has gotten better, I am optimistic it will continue to improve.

The key is to never never ever ever drink alcohol again. I don't want that poison in my body. Drinking is ridiculous anyway. The reason I ever drank was because I got "high." It made the world go away.

I don't want the world to go away anymore. I want to live life presently and as vigorously fun as I can muster. Living life high was initially a copied behavior. Then I became addicted.

I am no longer physically addicted. It is amazing.

Stay clean.

Thanks.

Dee74

Hi Jayne - welcome

I know it's a really obvious thing to say but my mental health has never been better since I took my last drink.

Even if you';re not a continual drinker your binges appear to be affecting you more and more and that the progressive part of drinking alcohol and developing alcoholism.

You'll find a lot of bingers here - you're not alone

D

JamesSquire

Mate
Exactly why I drink ... make the day go away
Wake up in the morning and ready for a drink to end the day.
Was there a light that made you stop, I need that light.
Like to know how you fought the urges.
Thanks for a great post, JS

Eaglelizard

So, I can relate to this post, and this is what happened to me, in a nutshell:
20s - like you, weekend binge, hangover, guilt and regret. Repeat.
30s - bingeing just became life (Everybody's doing it!), no more hangovers, guilt became anger
40-44 - drank a lot every day because nothing else to look forward to, no hangovers but every day felt like sliding downhill in every facet of life.
45 - stopped and reflected on all the stupid reasons why I drank in the first place. None of them made any sense anymore.

Rar

This was me also. Putting the bottle down is the solution - the only solution in my opinion. Stay close to SR. We can help.

I'm editing to add that I first started browsing and then joining SR after such a situation as you described. My drinking only got worse.

entropy1964

The obvious choice would be to stop drinking

Ask yourself why the obvious choice is something you aren't accepting? Until you do accept it, you will have trouble stopping.

You're asking how you can continue to drink without negative consequences. You can't.

D122y

I was a binger and i started having blood sugar issues or something.

Panic attacks and spatial disorientation. The only way out was suffering. It got better each day, but it was slow.

The whole time i craved. I ate a lot of sugary things when i craved. It tricked my brain. My AA buddy told me that. I always had sugary snacks aroud for months.

Now i am good. My health is way better. I don't carry snacks any more.

The only way out for me was to suffer. I would curl up in a ball and wimper sometimes.

Now i am stronger, but i still crave. But it passes quickly now.

Get well.

Thanks.

Angeloflight

This is me. I get such severe shameover hangxiety it feels like the world is ending your not alone. I try to tell myself my body and nervous system are on high alert. My heart is pounding, my mental state is sucked of dopamine and that it will go away. It is a temporary state. And another consistent reminder that the 4 hours of **** it all, is never worth the anxiety and panic of the next day. Remember this isn’t real. It’s real, but the extreme emotions are not only a side effect heightened to extreme intensity. I’m having some major drinking induced anxiety today and I get Paranoid as well. Sending you hugs and assurance it will get better and it WILL be ok.

Posting here and knowing your not alone. Deep breaths. Don’t spiral down the rabbit hole with the thoughts, and be gentle on yourself. Sometimes you literally have to hold your own hand and tell your scared frightened state- you will fight this disease together and with the support of the millions of us out there.

Jayne17

How are you today? It was nice to know I wasn’t alone but not nice to think someone else was feeling the same pain. Yesterday was hell and I am still feeling it today, just awful. I was reading back through the responses from others and someone mentioned I need to look at the reasons why I am not stopping doing this in the first place, be really interesting what I unravel there.

Angeloflight

I think It’s very wise to examine the reasons, literally sit with your sh$T and let it come to the surface. Why you do you get lost in the adventure and chase the feeling ? I think there are universal commanlities we all are chasing.

For me, I have anxiety in social situations. When i was in my twenties I wanted to be the opposite of my introverted nature. I wanted attention, admiration, liquid courage. I didnt want to care what anyone thought. Ussuallly I was so shy and scared of what someone was thinking of me, I couldnt even get to know THEM. My core problem is needing others validation to feel acceptance when it comes from within. Logically I know this, emotionally I can’t seem to grasp it. Now days I drink to to forget the past, the pain, reality, the emptiness. I’ve done so much self advancement and spiritual work over the years but alcohol still has a strong hold on me, and my negative self talk still drives the car instead of being a child in the back with a seatbelt on.

I’m doing better. For me the anxiety and guilt can be worse day 2. The depletion and feeling of everything being wrong lingers well after. Then after 3 days..... the idea doesn’t sound so bad. The madness.

I’m so sorry you suffered today, but I’m also very glad we were able to connect and help one another and not be in this ship alone.

How are you currently feeling ??

Jayne17

Well, that entire response pretty much sums up my relationship with myself and alcohol. I feel shocking today, I am not churning over things in my mind as much but I am very flat and avoiding life! Alcohol has a real hold on me also, I had to check myself before, I was talking to a friend and we were discussing an up and coming event and plans for drinking????? I was astounded here I am in misery beating myself up all the while knowing it will pass and I am all ready planning to do it again?