Notsodrunk

Ha , I made it back here. I think the longest I stayed dry was a month and a half-ish. Funny how that one night turned back into habitual use for the next few months. Anyway , 5 days right now. Funny thing I noticed is when I would drink beer I’d be so lazy I’d just wanna sit and drink. Let life pass me right by. Whiskey , I could work around the yard , function really well keeping a light buzz unless it got a little too crazy. Focusing more on time with family now. And I’m getting too damn old to be waking up hungover. I want that early morning black coffee before the sun comes up on the weekend energy I used to have. I lost 12 pounds last sober run so hopefully being less fat will continue to be a bonus as I kept that off. I’ve settled enough into my new job to start picking up some extra overtime so that’s a plus as well. Also built a garden in the back yard so i have plenty of little hobbies to keep me going.

Anyway, I look forward to chatting with y’all fine folks again.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, notsodrunk.

saoutchik

Welcome back Notsodrunk, i'm glad you're sticking with it.

Dee74

welcome back notsodrunk
glad you're keeping busy - have you thought any on how you'll actually stay sober tho?

D

doggonecarl

Posting here daily...multiple times even, helped me. Maybe it will help you.

Rar

Welcome back Notsodrunk. I relapsed a couple of times when I drifted away from SR.

^ This! I was unable to read and post the last couple of days. I was away from the house and when I returned to home base, the older grandchildren had my computer. While I didn't really want to drink, I felt far away from SR and my sobriety.

Notsodrunk

Reading here helped the initial run. I’m just focusing on today. Right now I’ve got that vampire sleep. Even if I get enough it is painfully hard to get my eyes open and get up. Once I did I actually enjoyed the ride to work listening to the radio. Right now I’m feeling sick though. Had eggs for breakfast at 5. Prolly about to see them again but all in baby steps. Keeping busy is my plan and being tired / having the feeling of a fulfilled day is my mind set. Wish my wife would talk more with me about it. It’s crazy , whenever I get sober it’s like she gets an attitude because I’m doing more around the house or whatever just to keep my hands from being idle. I’ve always been so laid back and with the mindset of how great our house is , healthy kids , bills paid....I’m working w Saturday right now for extra spending money.....yet we just can’t get along too great. No crazy fights because that’s not my style anymore. Wondering if all this time the drinking just swept a bad marriage under the rug to where I was so apathetic I just didn’t care. Maybe it’s time to get that boat and cruise down to the Florida keys for a decade. I spent the last one drunk , might as well spend this one in paradise....

Notsodrunk

This vampire sleep I swear. I’m taking my daughter Fishing and slept over two hours. Oh well it’s cold outside but my goal is to be able to wake up early and enjoy it again.

So pain ful to get moving , I wish there was more study on this part alone. I’m sure I’m just finally getting a certain stage of sleep.

Anyone got a good read about something similar ?

Notsodrunk

Anything good to read? A not so mainstream book about recovery? Or anything to pass time I’d normally be drinking whiskey and smoking cigars?

doggonecarl

I found "Under the Influence" an informative read. The non-fiction one, not the novel.

Forward12

The most famous words ever spoken.

Notsodrunk

Little update something I was thinking about at dinner. . .

For the past x amount of years I’d wake up in the mornings or around 9am or different times I’d notice I felt week and just brushed it off as blood sugar getting low or I just need to eat. I’d eat and it would go away. Pretty sure it was just the shakes and whatever I was eating just gave me the sugars or whatever to stop it. I’m still getting it from time to time in the mornings so I’m snacking most of the day.

Other than that - still the vampire sleep. I was up at 3am to go to work , got off and two and came home and took a 30 minute nap before going to a dinner.....when I woke up I was so groggy I spilled half the box of coffee in the sink and could hit the filter right and got grains all in the brew. I laughed at how un- coordinated I was because of this.

I’ve taken into the saying “ hurting is healing “ because I feel like **** at times. My head hurts and I’m so tired and weak feeling.

Still - diarrhea. Sometimes I feel bad for my toilet at the vomit and liquid alcohol **** that’s been thrown at it over
Time. Sorry for the graphic.

I ran yesterday. 2 miles.

I’ve become super subconscious about my health since I found one of my molars is rotting. Planning on the dentist soon but it makes me worry about my liver , lungs , mouth , etc. gives me motivation at the same time because my daughter is getting super “ big kid “ and I don’t want to die.

That and even if I wanted to drink , money I’d so tight I don’t think I could. I believe the wife has some margirita bacardi or something in the pantry but that was never my style and I have no interest in it at all.

My eyes look a little clearer mid morning. First wake up and they are blood shot and in the evenings cue the dark circles. Skin is super oily and I stink as my body burns the poison out of me. But it’s cool, just part of this process.

Thanks for the book recommendation I will order it after payday so I have something to hold and read since the screen hurts my eyes sometimes. Y’all have a good evening and let’s keep moving forward together and not drink tonight.

Finalround

Thanks for the updates notsodrunk. Normal sleep and function will come in time.

least

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

rascalwhiteoak

I remember feeling things gradually come back — steady hands, restorative sleep, normal poo

It's amazing what the body can recover from. Keep the momentum going.

Notsodrunk

Made a dentist appointment . Normal people stuff. Let’s see how it goes in two weeks. 30 years no cavities and now I’m wondering how many teeth are salvageable. Atleast it’s the back teeth and the front are fine. On the threadmill in the garage now. Avoiding going inside because my wife and daughter are pigs and don’t pick up after themselves so we end up with piles of girls shoes , 20 cups / bowls in the sink even tho we have a dishwasher. Been tapering down on smoking. 3 times a day tops. Tomorrow I’ll shoot for not at all. Atleast I’m not waking up hungover at 3 am for work......thankful for that!

Notsodrunk

Jesus , these mornings the Alarm goes off at 3am and I lay in bed. “ **** it I’m calling in “. It’s just so hard to get moving. I tell myself just lay in bed but keep your eyes open for 5 minutes.....it’s so hard to keep them open but then I drag ass to the shower turn it to scald me awake and jump in. That’s been the routine for two weeks now. At this point not smoking at all isn’t gunna happen today. Maybe this weekend. Thankful to be working and that I did get up. At the end of May I’ll be on a mini vacation for a few days and it’ll be nice to get away. Anyway.....going to work

Rar

I found a difference in withdrawal from smoking and alcohol. Quitting smoking left me tired and sleepy all the time. Quitting alcohol left me hyper and sleepless. Hang in there. You're doing awesome.

Notsodrunk

I have a vape I use most of the time. So I’m not withdrawing from nicotine. I think my body just hasn’t slept in so long so it’s like “ naaaah man you don’t need to wake up”.

Kinna had a crappy day. Since I was here so early I’m off at 2pm. Going to catch a nap and then walk on the threadmill and then family time until bed. Prolly grab a cigar on the way home. But no booze. I’m hoping I’m just completely over hangovers And staying up until midnight for the last beer in the fridge like it was going to run away if I didn’t drink it. Alcoholic mindset I guess! But I feel good that I’m not drinking even though I’m so tired. Next week I go on late shift so I get to sleep in some.

Notsodrunk

So I worked this event Saturday , I won’t get Into much detail about it but I’m sponsored by some companies for an activity. Anyway - days almost over and one of the regional people of said company is trying to get my to go eat. Pushing that the company buys a lot of appetizers and pitchers of beers , etc etc. I had no intention of going to this anyway. Family time is so embedded in my mind , even when I drank - if I wasn’t fishing or at work I was with my daughter or on the way to her. Just how I roll.

Anyway , I said no that I had to go relieve the Wife cause she’d been with my daughter all day. Didn’t want to flat out say “ nah ima alcoholic and I don’t like going to bars “

Which I don’t. I had to stop going to bars in my early 20s because I’d get drunk and start fights or some other dumb activity. I was always a solo drinker. Let me sit by myself and reflect and really ponder about things. That’s just how it was the past 7 years or so. Anyway, I’m feeling alright. Headache today but got to sleep in. Getting up to clean the garage up some. Hope y’all had a great weekend. Let’s not drink today?