Please help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 1
Please help
Hello . After me and my addicted ex broke up he found a very strong woman. To begin with he was not bothered and it showed... he just treated her the same way he treated me but she didn’t give up and introduced him to all lot of healthy people who , at the same time are “cool”, so little by little he is distancing himself from the junkies, although he sometimes sees them. She is definitely being very patient and they are married but are still waiting to have kids. I think she is very determined to have him 100% clean before babies. My ex is now much heavier than what he used to be. Is this sign of withdrawal ? When he was with me he was addicted to coke and so addicted that he couldn’t even have sex . Do ppl normally gain weight when they stop cocaine? Also, does a patient woman by your side help if she has support from elsewhere, such as friends and family? She is not as serious as I used to be, she has a lot of fun with him and they drink as well socially. I got the feeling that this actually helped not to scare him away or bore him. He is a very happy man now and I feel down because I was not the one who witnessed the change. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Welcome to SR, Nonpuopiovere; I am sorry for what brings you here.
Relationships can be so very complex, and the addition of an ingredient such as alcoholism/addiction can certainly add to the complexity.
I hope that you can find peace and can move forward into a happy future.
Relationships can be so very complex, and the addition of an ingredient such as alcoholism/addiction can certainly add to the complexity.
I hope that you can find peace and can move forward into a happy future.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,698
Time to let go and move on (unless you enjoy being miserable and living in the past).
There is a whole new world out there. Time to make some new healthy relationships and make some positive steps to move forward.
"Nothing changes if nothing changes."
There is a whole new world out there. Time to make some new healthy relationships and make some positive steps to move forward.
"Nothing changes if nothing changes."
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by ChloeRose63 
Time to let go and move on (unless you enjoy being miserable and living in the past).
There is a whole new world out there. Time to make some new healthy relationships and make some positive steps to move forward.
"Nothing changes if nothing changes."
There is a whole new world out there. Time to make some new healthy relationships and make some positive steps to move forward.
"Nothing changes if nothing changes."
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
Hi and welcome Nonpuopiovere 
From threads I've read herem it's niot uncommon for an addict to get into a new relationship and fix themselves up.
It must be hard not to take that personally, but I think you have to try and do just that - not take it personally.
u drank for 20 years, burned through 2 relationships and then stopped for good.
My partners were not to blame for drinking...and the decision to stop had to be mine - I decided I couldn't live that way anymore.
He's your ex for a reason and he's moved on - it sounds like it's time for you to do that too
enjoy your life - it's the only one we get
D
From threads I've read herem it's niot uncommon for an addict to get into a new relationship and fix themselves up.
It must be hard not to take that personally, but I think you have to try and do just that - not take it personally.
u drank for 20 years, burned through 2 relationships and then stopped for good.
My partners were not to blame for drinking...and the decision to stop had to be mine - I decided I couldn't live that way anymore.
He's your ex for a reason and he's moved on - it sounds like it's time for you to do that too
enjoy your life - it's the only one we get
D
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