Sarahsays

Hey everyone, as you can probably tell from the title, I'm not having a very good day.

I feel deeply, utterly detached from society. I can't relate to anyone. I feel like... imagine if you've been dropped into a society where everyone follows a certain cult and you have to play along because you have nowhere else to go.

I've turned off the news, I don't go outside, I've drawn the curtains, I have no desire to be a member of society beyond what is absolutely necessary for survival. Not only that, I'm not even allowed to be sad, when I tell people I'm sad, they tell me other people are more sad, and I should stop being so damn selfish. When I tell people I have problems, they tell me other people have bigger problems, and to get over myself.

I'm fairly sure if I slashed my wrists, very few would care, some would probably see it as another way of me making it all about me. But that's not the case at all, I don't want attention, I want to be left alone. My view of most people is absolutely pitch black, I think most people are completely self interested, I don't think most people have any morals, at all. That's not how I want to look at things, but after thinking for a long time I can't come to another conclusion.

I don't know what to do now, nothing is making me feel better, I have no energy for anything, and time is moving slowly. Sorry for being dramatic, but this is me being brutally honest about how I feel.

Donnyb

Hi Sarah,
True we live in a selfish self upsorbed me first society, but not everyone lives nor believes in living like that. People care, and it’s proven on here everyday. The last thing any of us want to see is you hurt yourself. You are on here and part of that us, and there is so much love shown between all of “us” everyday. Please reach out to a hotline if you are feeling that way, as I’m sure a specialist would be the best to speak too💜💜💜💜 talk soon

doggonecarl

You seem plagued by anxiety and depression. Both are treatable. Please seek help.

ChloeRose63

Please call for help.
All it takes is for you to reach out and call 1-800-273-8255 and talk to someone about what you are feeling.
You are not alone.

DarklingSong

((((Sarah))))
Glad you reached out here.
If its still bad do call a helpline. If you can try, to give your mind a rest.....anything that is a distraction can help.
I know I often see the world as very bleak but if I can wait it out, talk and connect with others it always starts to lift. Keep reaching out.

Rar

Awww, Sarah. We care! You're not alone. Please call the number ChloeRose provided and call someone. You can talk it out over the phone. Maybe they will direct you to face to face contact with someone. ((SARAH))

Opivotal

Sarah, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Life may seem bleak right now, but with some help, you can get through this. Dig deep and reach out to professionals that can help you.

Here are some excellent resource links. I've included US and UK. Please know people do care. You're not alone.

United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines - Suicide.org! United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines!

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6641643

2ndhandrose

Sarah, please call one of the numbers posted. There is help for you.

I understand depression and feeling sad. I am in a rather dark place, myself, right now.

People that have never experienced depression just can't understand it. My own husband has trouble understanding why I could feel so low when I want for nothing.

Even I don't understand why this dark cloud envelops my brain so that everything looks so grey and bleak.

If you can't see a way out, please, please, please, seek help from a professional.

Please don't do this alone. Call one of the numbers.

columbus

Reconnect with your Spirit,
which leads to

Reconnecting with Self,
which leads to

Reconnecting with Society.

(i.e., don't worry about the outside world at this point)

?

saoutchik

I think a lot of people can recognise that feeling of just pretending to be a member of society whilst at the same time feeling totally outside of it. The people who said those things to you may have tought they were being helpful, I don't know, they seem like really dumb responses.

I do not know how much sober time you have but in early recovery my emotions did peak and trough quite regularly, it might be what is happening to you too but even if not then I do recommend a visit to your doctor to explain your circumstances to him or her.

The writer Kurt Vonnegut had a very dark view of humanity but he discovered that writing about it and eventually just writing helped him come to terms with it - it did not change his low opinion of humanity, just how he could accept it and still enjoy life. He might be worth a read.

Sarahsays

Hey everyone I'm sorry for responding so late, I had family come round so couldn't get back on to SR until just now. I'm planning on booking a doctors appointment tomorrow to try and get some help and I really appreciate you all looking out for me. I'm not usually this bad, things just really got on top of me. Thanks so much everyone x

DontRemember

I'm not an avid AA'er,but I try to read the daily reflections every morning..I had missed a few days ,but here's todays that I read this morning give it a quick read..

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflections

Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Dee74

I'm glad you have people around you and that you've made an appointment sarahsays

Like others have said, I've found depression and anxiety are very treatable

D