DangerZone

I worded that wrong at the end btw I meant to say "Overall a relapse should be avoided at all costs but if it does happen it's important to get right back to trying to get clean so you don't fall right back into the hell of addiction.

D122y

Dave,

For me...there are slips and relapses.

My slips didn't cause me any noticeable change in my mind or body.

But, i am positive those slips would have led to a full blown relapse if not for SR.

I was rational for both.

I don't go to AA anymore.

Going to AA meetings to stay clean is my last resort.

Feeling like i am a relapser can help to push me in that direction.

4 weeks is a long time for a drunk to be sober. The problem with drinking enough to get drunk again is it opens the door to temptation.

I drank and nothing bad happened...i guess i can do it again. That is what i saw happen to me before i quit.

This weekend i had so many temptations but i passed on all w out much drama.

I have unlearned drinking.

Thanks for the post.

daveglass1

Slips and relapses - the general consensus here would be that they are the same thing - a drink is a drink. However - the way I see it and there is an element of support - is that weve all got the same town to get to - but weve all lived in different places with different stories. Our downfall has been the same - seeking alcohol as a crutch. Us lot in SR are all on the same bus, different seats , same final destination.
Well done for getting to this stop.
Regards
Dave 🤠

Dee74

I used to have a whole lexicon of terms - I slipped, I fell off the wagon, I had had a drink or two, I backtracked a little...and my inner addict was able to find solace and rationalisation in every one of those weasel words.

Now I keep it simple. I'm either drinking or not drinking..no gradations.
Black or white.

D

daveglass1

Its been a good discussion. The general flavour is - just dont do it. Im enjoying SR a month in. Everyone is part of the same team and for a group of individuals who may never meet each other to put so much effort and thought into the discussions is inspiring. Well done team.
Regards
Dave 🤠

Gottalife

As a chronic, hopeless alcoholic who lost the power of choice in alcohol, just don't drink was not a workable solution. Instead I had to take some action to become "recovered". I did have a choice about whether to take that action or not though for some considerable time I failed to see the need.

A relapse process for me would be going from recovered to complacent to unrecovered to drink. In my case, I believe it is likely to be a one way trip.

A slip for me was stop drinking, remain unrecovered, drink, or slip back into the alcoholic pit.

A relapse comes from a recovered position, a slip is the end of a time between drinks.

BreezyFe

Q

daveglass1

Another interesting personal view. Ill see you again on here along the way - theres a fairly regular crew knocking around.
Regards
Dave 🤠

August252015

Agreed. I'd also say that I detest the word 'slip' as ... well, you decided to drink, it wasn't an accidental fall on a wet floor. And words matter to me - my alcoholic mind would (could, possibly, if I let it by lapsing in my recovery work, say) use my large vocabulary to keep me drinking. No dice anymore- rigorous honesty is what I must have, about my actions and CHOICES in particular. While I am not afraid of drinking in the least, here at 25 mo and change, I don't even consume foods containing alcohol.

Glad you are back. What are you going to do with this chance- perhaps a last one?- to stay sober for good? If that is what you are seeking, of course.

daveglass1

My aim is to be as great as I can be and get to a place where Im happy. I dont know what the future holds but as I sit here now - happy as Larry - I cant see the point in drinking. Indeed the other day had no effect whatsoever that I could perceive , thus I felt it double edged. I had cordially shared a few with my partner because I wished to - but then felt guilty with myself as I had missed my own point. Its done now and I look at the achievement I have made in a month , the money saved , the clearheaded plans made , the lack of stresses like wondering if your breath smelt for work etc
Accentuating the positive is where essentually Im at.
Thanks for the interest August.
Dave 👍🤠

NoBones

Thanks VikingGF. I got a lot out of this post.

tekink

I relapsed after two months and then drank for four, then I quit for 69 days and relapsed for a day. Then I went 60 days and relapsed for a month. This time I'm nearly 14 months sober.

For me that one day relapse did make it all the harder to get to 60 days again. For that one day I was sure I was done with sobriety.

daveglass1

14 months is brilliant. The future's orange.
Well done.
Regards
Dave 🤠

hellrzr

August252015, I could not agree more with you on the term "slip". I can't stand that term for the same reasons you do!!! The line of thinking that goes with that word keeps people sick and gets them dead sometimes.

MyLittleHorsie

I worried about this Sunday morning at communion. Do I not partake because it is wine, do I do it and then how does that affect me... I partook and then when I got to the front dipped my wafer only a tiny bit. It was bugging me so I said something to my husband. He said it was grape juice Horsie, you of all people couldn't tell. I was like I barely had any on my wafer. He was like there were teen's partaking, I was like where do you think i had my first sip of wine!

I made a conscious decision to let it cross my lips, to participate in the sacrament. It was a huge mental battle all the way to the alter. A mental battle that was unnecessary since it wasn't wine lol. I would not have called it a slip or a relapse, I dipped (last year was individual cups and it is funny tasting so I didn't really remember) very little for the purpose of participating in the sacrament, the whole 9 yards, prayer, confession and absolution by sacrament.

At Christmas I was sick and Dh for me cough syrup, we were in the middle of nowhere and it was take what we could get. It may or may not have had alcohol. I asked after and Dh didn't know. Again not a relapse or slip. A necessary evil. My kids were 10lbers, delivered naturally, I hate coughing and sneezing (lady humour)

To me a relapse or slip is a conscious decision. Whether it is to try moderation, see if it tastes good or to get a buzz. If I accidentally drank alcohol, it wouldn't be a slip or relapse and at this point because I don't like the taste, it would get spit out quick. It wouldn't affect my recovery although it might be disappointing because I am a total abstinence believer now. To me there has to be a conscious thought like I want a glass of wine, not a wtf man I thought it was water in that glass. Which is why I had a mental battle with myself over freaking crappy grape juice lol. Maybe it is non alcoholic wine... I should find out before next Easter.

b0glerd69

This is how I feel, Dave. It was a relapse that brought me to SR. It's great that you have recognised the extent of your problem and that the best solution is abstinence.

I find that when I think of reasons not to drink my mind fills up pretty quickly and the memories keep coming. It takes me about 10 minutes to realise that I need to stop for good.

I am almost 6 months free and life is good. The more time you put into sobriety, the more solid your foundations become. After time you'll have been through Christmas, birthdays, family events, funerals, weddings, work social events, etc. sober and the penny drops that you really can live happily like this.

Good luck and keep going, also ditch any shame and guilt, these emotions are a waste of time.

Neena

This was a really interesting thread , I have wondered myself. I agree a relapse is your not sober anymore. Well done dave-4 weeks! I’m just on day 2 again.

Gottalife

That wasn't my experience August> I decided not to drink with all will that I could muster. I made promises to people even, and I really meant it. But I drank anyway, against my will. I lost the power of choice in drink.

Once I saw the true nature of the problem, I could make choices about recovery maybe, but I had never been in a position where I could choose whether to drink or not. That is what alcoholism is to me, the absolute inability to leave it alone no matter how great the wish.

I mention this because of those out there like me. When someone tells me I must have made a calculated decision to drink when actually that wasn't the case, it could make me feel like I must be incredibly bad, blind or stupid. Because in all the times I tried to stop and failed, I never once made a conscious decision to drink.

Ken33xx

I'm in AA and with regard any amount of alcohol deliberately taken a relapse. I would toss drugs into the mix as well.

But that's me.

Once I drank from a glass of water/whisky which I was my tea. This was an honest mistake and not a relapse.

D122y

I feel there are degrees of relapse and someone drinking 2 beers in 3 years is in an entirely different boat then someone who drank for a few months solid in 3 years.

The fact that i was able to have 1 shot and stop for a full year, then do it again and stop for this long makes me different than a text book alky.

But, i could fully relapse tomorrow because i am labeled a relapser anyway. Is it a form of bullying?

The brain damage is different. To group them together is wrong. I could use other trigger words, but i won't.

I think from a support standpoint each case of drinking needs to be judged individually and not lumped together. An addict, like me or dave, may hold his head higher knowing he managed to not continue drinking.

Throw us a little love.

From a mental health stand point, my damage is less than someone that relapsed for several days or more.

People can decide on their own. Live and let live.

Stay clean.

Thanks.