In need of some encouragement
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 81
In need of some encouragement
Hey, so I’m on day 17 and went out with friends for lunch today and the wine was flowing 😬 I stuck to ginger beer. No one questioned why I wasn’t drinking. But Now I really want wine, I can’t stop thinking about it. Think I may have gone out too soon in my recovery. Does anyone have any good advice please?
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Jotick 
I can’t stop thinking about it.
That voice in my head used to tell me I'd never be able to stop thinking about drinking. You'll never be able to calm down and stop thinking about it, so you might as well drink.
Turns out it was just another lie. Like everything else it ever told me.
Go for a walk. Breathe deeply through your nose and contemplate the way the air feels at the tips of the nostrils. Imagine the sky is smiling at you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 81
Hey guys thanks so much for your comments and your support. I’ve got into bed with a book on being sober and a herbal tea. Currently reading about the dangers of alcohol. Also done some deep breathing to try and relax. There is an AA meeting near me tomorrow which I will go to. I really want to do this so thanks again you’ve all really helped me tonight 😊x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Originally Posted by Jotick
Hey guys thanks so much for your comments and your support. I’ve got into bed with a book on being sober and a herbal tea. Currently reading about the dangers of alcohol. Also done some deep breathing to try and relax. There is an AA meeting near me tomorrow which I will go to. I really want to do this so thanks again you’ve all really helped me tonight 😊x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hey J. Well done on your sobriety so far and for recognising the danger zones and posting re the obsessive thinking.
I'm so pleased that you'll be getting to a meeting tomorrow, as that will help a lot. There are also lots of AA recovery speakers you can listen to online for free here... https://www.recoveryaudio.org/step-1-speaker-tapes
And the Big Book of AA can be read online for free as well.... https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous (I started with the personal stories, in particular the ones in the 'They stopped in time' section. Typically arse-about-face lol).
There really are SO many resources available.
Good luck for your meeting tomorrow. It can be very scary walking in for the first time, but so many of us feel a real sense of coming home when we do so and listen to others talking in a way that we find we can relate to, even if the details may be slightly different. Focus on the similarities, not the differences. If you find yourself having a few tears don't worry - plenty of us do that at our first meeting. It's worth popping a tissue or two in your pocket anyway. Other than that you don't need anything other than open ears and an open mind. Let us know how you get on.
BB
I'm so pleased that you'll be getting to a meeting tomorrow, as that will help a lot. There are also lots of AA recovery speakers you can listen to online for free here... https://www.recoveryaudio.org/step-1-speaker-tapes
And the Big Book of AA can be read online for free as well.... https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous (I started with the personal stories, in particular the ones in the 'They stopped in time' section. Typically arse-about-face lol).
There really are SO many resources available.
Good luck for your meeting tomorrow. It can be very scary walking in for the first time, but so many of us feel a real sense of coming home when we do so and listen to others talking in a way that we find we can relate to, even if the details may be slightly different. Focus on the similarities, not the differences. If you find yourself having a few tears don't worry - plenty of us do that at our first meeting. It's worth popping a tissue or two in your pocket anyway. Other than that you don't need anything other than open ears and an open mind. Let us know how you get on.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by nova84
Good job Jotick 👍something I would have suggested was to "play the tape forward"...your post sounded like the romatisicing of alcohol without the fallout part which has led many of us to make this decision to embrace society. When I find myself romantisising about drinking, I quickly remind myself of the guilt, shame, anxiety and hangover that would surely follow the wine. Wishing you well on your recovery journey 💜
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by Berrybean
Hey J. Well done on your sobriety so far and for recognising the danger zones and posting re the obsessive thinking.
I'm so pleased that you'll be getting to a meeting tomorrow, as that will help a lot. There are also lots of AA recovery speakers you can listen to online for free here... https://www.recoveryaudio.org/step-1-speaker-tapes
And the Big Book of AA can be read online for free as well.... https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous (I started with the personal stories, in particular the ones in the 'They stopped in time' section. Typically arse-about-face lol).
There really are SO many resources available.
Good luck for your meeting tomorrow. It can be very scary walking in for the first time, but so many of us feel a real sense of coming home when we do so and listen to others talking in a way that we find we can relate to, even if the details may be slightly different. Focus on the similarities, not the differences. If you find yourself having a few tears don't worry - plenty of us do that at our first meeting. It's worth popping a tissue or two in your pocket anyway. Other than that you don't need anything other than open ears and an open mind. Let us know how you get on.
BB
I'm so pleased that you'll be getting to a meeting tomorrow, as that will help a lot. There are also lots of AA recovery speakers you can listen to online for free here... https://www.recoveryaudio.org/step-1-speaker-tapes
And the Big Book of AA can be read online for free as well.... https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous (I started with the personal stories, in particular the ones in the 'They stopped in time' section. Typically arse-about-face lol).
There really are SO many resources available.
Good luck for your meeting tomorrow. It can be very scary walking in for the first time, but so many of us feel a real sense of coming home when we do so and listen to others talking in a way that we find we can relate to, even if the details may be slightly different. Focus on the similarities, not the differences. If you find yourself having a few tears don't worry - plenty of us do that at our first meeting. It's worth popping a tissue or two in your pocket anyway. Other than that you don't need anything other than open ears and an open mind. Let us know how you get on.
BB
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
I attended a neighbourhood party in very early recovery and managed to stay sober through the evening. But, the seed was planted and the next day, I was out buying wine. I couldn't stop thinking about it. 
For me, I had to stay away from alcohol for quite awhile, before I felt comfortable.
I'm glad you got through the evening!
For me, I had to stay away from alcohol for quite awhile, before I felt comfortable.I'm glad you got through the evening!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi Jotick - yeah it may have been too soon - it took me several months(most of the year to be honest) to be comfortable around drinkers and not want to drink -, but I'm glad you sorted your head out &are back on track
D
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by Jotick
Thx BB. I will check out those links. Starting to realise that to get through this I need a lot more support than I thought I would. I’m already starting to feel more focused about life in general and have some get up and go in me that had virtually disappeared! So I know that sober is good for me and drinking is not. Thanks for AA pointers! Will keep you posted
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 121
Congrats on 17/18 days, and getting through a booze lunch without drinking!
This may sound simplistic but perhaps:
1. Mindfulness? (I use the app Headspace, and/ or the website franticworld.com. Both have free meditations)
2. A CBT technique: when you start thinking about wine, picture a stop sign and say “STOP!” To yourself. Maybe clap your hands out loud at the same time to add neuro linguistic programming. Then move on to something else. Sometimes it works for me, sometimes not....
This may sound simplistic but perhaps:
1. Mindfulness? (I use the app Headspace, and/ or the website franticworld.com. Both have free meditations)
2. A CBT technique: when you start thinking about wine, picture a stop sign and say “STOP!” To yourself. Maybe clap your hands out loud at the same time to add neuro linguistic programming. Then move on to something else. Sometimes it works for me, sometimes not....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Hey, from what I can tell you are doing the right things.
Our brains are plastic - the connections and pathways between and along neurons literally re-wire themselves in response to our surroundings. It's like anything habitual really - the cravings you were experiencing were likely just a result of the old habits. It's takes a lot less energy for those electrical impulses to travel the old paths than to travel new ones. Path of least resistance type thing.
All that stuff you are doing - the books about AA, educating self about the dangers of alcohol, etc. are seriously contributing to forming new connections. Bravo. And the little comfort things are awesome for easing the discomfort of forming those new habits and ways of thinking.
It takes time - but anyone that says people don't change is just flat out wrong.
Sorry for so much nerdery.
Keep working it!
-B
Our brains are plastic - the connections and pathways between and along neurons literally re-wire themselves in response to our surroundings. It's like anything habitual really - the cravings you were experiencing were likely just a result of the old habits. It's takes a lot less energy for those electrical impulses to travel the old paths than to travel new ones. Path of least resistance type thing.
All that stuff you are doing - the books about AA, educating self about the dangers of alcohol, etc. are seriously contributing to forming new connections. Bravo. And the little comfort things are awesome for easing the discomfort of forming those new habits and ways of thinking.
It takes time - but anyone that says people don't change is just flat out wrong.
Sorry for so much nerdery.
Keep working it!
-B
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,508
I just saw this thread love.....sorry to be a bit late.
Thinking of you and hoping you are OK.
I could not/did not go 'out; in early recovery.....nowhere where people were drinking. But that was just me.....I was fragile. I think it is OK to look to wrap ourselves in cotton wool a little in the beginning....I know it helped me.
♥
Thinking of you and hoping you are OK.
I could not/did not go 'out; in early recovery.....nowhere where people were drinking. But that was just me.....I was fragile. I think it is OK to look to wrap ourselves in cotton wool a little in the beginning....I know it helped me.
♥
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