Wastinglife

I am sure I am not the only one here who has trouble with guilt and shame over our drunken behaviours. It's Easter long weekend and I have spent yet another holiday alone wondering how I let things get this way. I hate holidays for this reason now as I can't help but dwell on things. I am not feeling sorry for myself, just really can't believe how far I have fallen. So hard to deal with but I am sober.

Dee74

I'm sorry it was kind of an empty weekend for you WL.

Trust me tho, the way back to rebuilding relationships and starting new ones is to stay sober

DontRemember

I promise you someone out there had a worse weekend! It's your life,man! What are you doing/going to do to change it for the better,so that every day is cherished,good and bad?

Cosima11

I figured honestly holidays in the first year were probably just going to suck a bit. With family or without, holidays have either been a triggering time or a lonely/reflective time. Both have served their purpose though in helping me look at what I really want out of sobriety and how I'm going to not only maintain but thrive in it.

Feel the feelings but remember it's really just another day like any else.. it is what you make of it. I thought about volunteering on Thanksgiving and really should have done it. Always helps to put things in perspective..

PeacefulWater12

Rebuild, make living amends, make changes, help others.

Action to move forward. You can create the life you want.

WeaverBird

Thank you for your post. I wrote exactly the same thing a while back. It’s not self-pity for me. More a combination of stunned awe that one woman caused so much destruction, lost so much money, ended up alone, coupled with a new found respect for the power of alcohol. At first I saw the drink as Godzilla or any bad monster but now I am a little more secure I just know I can’t tackle it on my own and get help to get my wild nature in control anyway I can.

I’m slowly rebuilding but with new people mainly. Maybe someone will come along and be close but I wouldn’t want that until I can attract well people. I’d rather be alone and working on myself than propping up my ego with any old body! One important family tie has proved not totally dead with my willingness to face up to my actions but it’s impossible to force these things. Make an effort and then let go. It was hard at first for me to see I had any blame in my downfall. It was always their fault.

Anyway, you’re not alone. You’ve got us and we are people who know how the alcoholic brain works inside out. You’ll never have closer friends lol

D122y

Wast,

I relate. I have no close friends. The people that i speak w beyond work relations are friendly but distant.

Now that i am clean i realize that being alone was a reason to drink. It became part of my drinking cycle.

Now i work out to feel good about myself. On long lonely weekends, i work out extra long.

That is all i got.

Thanks.

Berrybean

No need to be alone. Ever.

I wonder if this even might be worth considering... Volunteer Toronto

Eaglelizard

I think the feeling of hopelessness and loss leaves us after a while. Definitely helps to find something to do, even something small, that will build up your confidence again.