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First test (continued)

Old 03-31-2018, 12:53 AM
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First test (continued)

Woke during the night, checked ex social media, itís not healthy for me to do that now, she is basically a stranger

Not waking up with my usual enthusiasm today that Iíve had all week. So Iíll stay close here as Iím lonely right now

This is not about my crumbled relationship. This is now about me and finally addressing my problem with alcohol

Just wish I could shake these desperate feelings
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Old 03-31-2018, 12:59 AM
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Just going to drop this song here I have playing at the moment..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCgPLh7VM1U
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Old 03-31-2018, 02:03 AM
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Just wish I could shake these desperate feelings
It will take a little time - you're finally addressing feelings and issues that you've avoided and buried a long time.

This is not about my crumbled relationship. This is now about me and finally addressing my problem with alcohol
That's precisely the focus to take to 'shake those desperate feelings'

D
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Old 03-31-2018, 03:30 AM
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I behaved terribly towards her when I was drinking alcohol. How do I even begin to forgive myself for how I behaved whilst boozing?
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Old 03-31-2018, 03:41 AM
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Time heals and sincerity takes time to prove.
We are in charge of how we take ourselves forward.
Steadily one step at a time is a sustainable approach.
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Old 03-31-2018, 05:10 AM
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Good advice here Stew. You drank to numb the feelings. You'll be facing life sober now. One day and one step at a time. You're doing good. Hang in there.
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Old 03-31-2018, 05:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Stew1984 View Post
I behaved terribly towards her when I was drinking alcohol. How do I even begin to forgive myself for how I behaved whilst boozing?
Stay sober and the answer will present itself Stewy.
For me it was service work.

It may take a little while to look back, adjudge what happened fairly and forgive yourself - my head was messed up. I needed time for mind and body to heal - but they did once I stopped poisoning myself.

Don't lose perspective - your partner was, by all accounts, not blameless either.
Sometimes a relationship can be, or become, toxic.

remember your priority:

This is not about my crumbled relationship. This is now about me and finally addressing my problem with alcohol
Don't backtrack away from this.

Your ex has moved on - there's no reason why you can't too

D
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Old 03-31-2018, 05:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Stew1984 View Post
How do I even begin to forgive myself for how I behaved whilst boozing?
this is where a program of recovery comes into action.you know about the many available, so start investigating which ones address the underlying issues alcohol was a symptom of,pick one, and apply it.
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Old 03-31-2018, 07:42 AM
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I feel completely helpless my go to drink has gone. Remaining is some pretty brutal emotions that feel like their here to stay
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Old 03-31-2018, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Stew1984 View Post
I feel completely helpless my go to drink has gone. Remaining is some pretty brutal emotions that feel like their here to stay
Those brutal emotions are with you now, but they are not with you to stay. Feel them, learn from them, let them go and move on. Stewy, don't slide back down into despair.
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Old 03-31-2018, 07:59 AM
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Iím not sliding back down no way, I just feel completely helpless and so uncomfortable in my own skin like I have low self esteem or something
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Old 03-31-2018, 10:04 AM
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As Tomsteve said, this is where the rubber meets the road. What is your recovery plan Stewy? Use this time to focus on how you will finally get rid of the monkey on your back for good...then go for a run/walk...any kind of exercise (it helped me get out of my head), shower, eat and feel gratitude for not drinking today.

CT
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Old 03-31-2018, 12:02 PM
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Stewy, you will NOT feel this way forever; I promise you. But you do need to work through the emotions. Recovery work will help to show you the way.

Keep making sobriety and recovery your #1 priority.

When is your next SMART meeting?

Stay close to us, too.
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Old 03-31-2018, 03:49 PM
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Next smart meet Wednesday. Now Iíve got a few days under my belt, need to do the recovery plan

Can someone send me over the recovery plan thread thing please?
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Old 03-31-2018, 03:50 PM
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start writing it down, stew. tell your story, from the beginning. call it a step one, or a journal, doesn't really matter - just get it all OUT. when we leave the story locked in our head, we tend to stay stuck swirling around just one or two "highlight" and moving circles develop centrifugal force and pull everything INWARD.

you can go old skool with pen and paper or just fire up a blank word doc and get busy. that's the key part - TO TAKE ACTION.
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Old 03-31-2018, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Stew1984 View Post
Next smart meet Wednesday. Now Iíve got a few days under my belt, need to do the recovery plan

Can someone send me over the recovery plan thread thing please?
good on ya for that!

you are quite capable of using the search function to find the recovery plan thread,stewy-take responsibility for your recovery,dude!!
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Old 03-31-2018, 05:44 PM
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https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
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Old 03-31-2018, 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Stew1984 View Post
Next smart meet Wednesday. Now Iíve got a few days under my belt, need to do the recovery plan

Can someone send me over the recovery plan thread thing please?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
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Old 03-31-2018, 07:46 PM
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Also...stop checking her social media. That's basically like punching yourself in the face on purpose. Actually..the punch would probably be less painful/triggering.
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