Unsure
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 8
Unsure
Hi,
I don't really know if this is the appropriate place to write this.. so I apologise if not.
Basically I started uni, everyone drank it was all good fun. I was the idiot who got too drunk and did stupid stuff, I thought it was just funny. Fastforward two years and I still can't just have one drink, it's to excess any time I do. I say to myself oh I don't have a problem but there are days where the thought of drinking hits me and it's such an overwhelming thought that I end up just drinking.
The reason why I am here is because there has been a few times where I have gotten drunk alone.. (probably a warning sign), and I have acted in ways completely different from who I am. For example (I am very introverted), I drank and had apparently commented I was suicidal so my friend took me to the emergency room at a hospital and I became incredibly paranoid and was shouting at people because they were staring at me. A lot of the time I don't really remember what happens when I drink, just that people either find me funny (early uni) or are annoyed..
Does it sound like I am an alcoholic? or at least on the way there? This is probably so naive.. sorry.
Jake
I don't really know if this is the appropriate place to write this.. so I apologise if not.
Basically I started uni, everyone drank it was all good fun. I was the idiot who got too drunk and did stupid stuff, I thought it was just funny. Fastforward two years and I still can't just have one drink, it's to excess any time I do. I say to myself oh I don't have a problem but there are days where the thought of drinking hits me and it's such an overwhelming thought that I end up just drinking.
The reason why I am here is because there has been a few times where I have gotten drunk alone.. (probably a warning sign), and I have acted in ways completely different from who I am. For example (I am very introverted), I drank and had apparently commented I was suicidal so my friend took me to the emergency room at a hospital and I became incredibly paranoid and was shouting at people because they were staring at me. A lot of the time I don't really remember what happens when I drink, just that people either find me funny (early uni) or are annoyed..
Does it sound like I am an alcoholic? or at least on the way there? This is probably so naive.. sorry.
Jake
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 8
It is not, I have tried.. but at the back of my mind I have always said it isn't a real issue. So whenever a group event happens with alcohol I join in and then it sets me back, I drink multiple times afterwards.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 132
Hi & welcome.
Sit back & review reasons drinking comes into your life. Know the repercussions and the tools to become a better you. Stay around here and get different points of view, stories, the struggles & victories.
Only you know you.
Sit back & review reasons drinking comes into your life. Know the repercussions and the tools to become a better you. Stay around here and get different points of view, stories, the struggles & victories.
Only you know you.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
It’s hard for any of us to technically diagnose anyone else as an alcoholic, but you seem to demonstrate some warning signs. Normal drinkers normally don’t wind up on a recovery message board asking about it.
Welcome to the board, keep posting and reading. Your story is very familiar.
Welcome to the board, keep posting and reading. Your story is very familiar.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Well, it certainly sounds like things are getting out of hand. And, if you ARE an alcoholic, this will continue as it is progressive.
I carried on for a long time because I wasn't 'sure' whether I was an alcoholic not. But you know if I'd stopped earlier rather than becoming the debating society bar-room I could have spared myself an awful lot of misery.
If you carry on things are likely to get much more chaotic and painful judging by what has happened so far.
If you stop, the worst outcome would be you might not be an alcoholic and have missed some drinking opportunities. Or you may save yourself a lot of misery and sickness.
Alcoholism isn't so much about how often or how much you drink, but more what happens once you start drinking. The questions on the AA site may give you some food for thought.
https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org...Is-AA-for-you?
Or you may, like me, choose to do them twenty times hoping for a different outcome and the decide that 'can't ' be right (hahaha - oh yes it can) and carry on drinking only to return once you can tick another box or two. (The 'no' answers weren't really 'no' for me. More like 'Not yet'.)
Anyway. Welcome. I hope you keep reading and posting here.
BB
I carried on for a long time because I wasn't 'sure' whether I was an alcoholic not. But you know if I'd stopped earlier rather than becoming the debating society bar-room I could have spared myself an awful lot of misery.
If you carry on things are likely to get much more chaotic and painful judging by what has happened so far.
If you stop, the worst outcome would be you might not be an alcoholic and have missed some drinking opportunities. Or you may save yourself a lot of misery and sickness.
Alcoholism isn't so much about how often or how much you drink, but more what happens once you start drinking. The questions on the AA site may give you some food for thought.
https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org...Is-AA-for-you?
Or you may, like me, choose to do them twenty times hoping for a different outcome and the decide that 'can't ' be right (hahaha - oh yes it can) and carry on drinking only to return once you can tick another box or two. (The 'no' answers weren't really 'no' for me. More like 'Not yet'.)
Anyway. Welcome. I hope you keep reading and posting here.
BB
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 374
Hi and welcome
I agree with bluedog I drank for years and never looked or searched out any sober sites...That is not until I quit .. Then I found this site ...I read and read and I couldn't actually believe alot of people's stories they were just like mine ....
I think only you can know if your drinking is out of control....
For me and many here it's a timebomb that can explode in your face at any given time
I'm glad you posted ....
I wish you all the best
Caralara ❤️
I agree with bluedog I drank for years and never looked or searched out any sober sites...That is not until I quit .. Then I found this site ...I read and read and I couldn't actually believe alot of people's stories they were just like mine ....
I think only you can know if your drinking is out of control....
For me and many here it's a timebomb that can explode in your face at any given time
I'm glad you posted ....
I wish you all the best
Caralara ❤️
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 8
Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it 
Berrybean mentioned something about it's what happens when I drink (not the amount/frequency), that really rings true for me.. I don't react the same way as my friends when I drink. It's like.. I take it personally if a plan to have a drinking session falls through last minute, or we decide to have a few drinks at home and i'm the one teasing for tequila/sambuca shots.
My personality just completely changes, not that I remember.. it's what people tell me and it worries me.. but at the same time.. I sit on a normal night, maybe I'm watching a TV show that features people drinking.. I get this feeling I want a casual drink.. I tell myself, oh yeah one might be ok. Then it's like oh no, I can't, I know what i'm like one leads to more. Then there is times where it's like... an overwhelming feeling and no matter what my "intelligent thoughtful self" thinks, I ignore and I can't help it, its such a strong feeling I need that drink. Then I do something stupid and I hurt those around me..
Berrybean mentioned something about it's what happens when I drink (not the amount/frequency), that really rings true for me.. I don't react the same way as my friends when I drink. It's like.. I take it personally if a plan to have a drinking session falls through last minute, or we decide to have a few drinks at home and i'm the one teasing for tequila/sambuca shots.
My personality just completely changes, not that I remember.. it's what people tell me and it worries me.. but at the same time.. I sit on a normal night, maybe I'm watching a TV show that features people drinking.. I get this feeling I want a casual drink.. I tell myself, oh yeah one might be ok. Then it's like oh no, I can't, I know what i'm like one leads to more. Then there is times where it's like... an overwhelming feeling and no matter what my "intelligent thoughtful self" thinks, I ignore and I can't help it, its such a strong feeling I need that drink. Then I do something stupid and I hurt those around me..
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Hi Jake! It's so good to have you with us.
I was just like you, decades ago. I was never sure what would happen once it was in my system. But unlike you, I ignored all the warning signs. I kept insisting I could use willpower to control how much I drank so it could be 'fun' and not dangerous. Unfortunately, over the years I allowed it to take over my life. When I came to SR I was drinking every day - with a ruined life - completely dependent on it. I'm so glad you're taking a hard look at what it's doing to you. Be proud of yourself for taking action.
I was just like you, decades ago. I was never sure what would happen once it was in my system. But unlike you, I ignored all the warning signs. I kept insisting I could use willpower to control how much I drank so it could be 'fun' and not dangerous. Unfortunately, over the years I allowed it to take over my life. When I came to SR I was drinking every day - with a ruined life - completely dependent on it. I'm so glad you're taking a hard look at what it's doing to you. Be proud of yourself for taking action.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Jake, you are describing a thing called the phenomenon of craving, an abnormal reaction, like an allergy, that happens when alcohol is consumed by an alcoholic. It never occurs in the average temperate drinker.
The only solution that has ever been found is complete abstinence. Try knocking of the drink for (say) three months. See how it goes. The second characteristic of alcoholism may make itself felt in this time, the inability to stop no matter how great the wish. Then you will have two out of two, a 100% certain diagnosis.
Next will come the question of how to stop altogether. Plenty of ideas about that round here. We can also tell you that alcoholism is an incurable progressive illness that gets worse over time. Look at your own experience. Is your drinking getting better, the consequences less severe?
This may just be the most serious thing you will face in you life. It is possible to make a ful recovery, but first you have to understand and acknowledge the problem. Until that is done there is no reason to do anything else.
The only solution that has ever been found is complete abstinence. Try knocking of the drink for (say) three months. See how it goes. The second characteristic of alcoholism may make itself felt in this time, the inability to stop no matter how great the wish. Then you will have two out of two, a 100% certain diagnosis.
Next will come the question of how to stop altogether. Plenty of ideas about that round here. We can also tell you that alcoholism is an incurable progressive illness that gets worse over time. Look at your own experience. Is your drinking getting better, the consequences less severe?
This may just be the most serious thing you will face in you life. It is possible to make a ful recovery, but first you have to understand and acknowledge the problem. Until that is done there is no reason to do anything else.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 8
Hevyn, what you said there rings so true to me.. I have felt like I could use my willpower to control my alcohol intake. (Not true for me at least)...
Gottalife, when you say look at my drinking and is it getting better.. not really, I mean in my first year of uni it was harmless jokerish sort of stuff. Then a few years later there is police involvement and behavior that honestly is not me.. like really bizarre stuff.
I think deep down I know I have an abnormal relationship with alcohol.. it's just so hard
Gottalife, when you say look at my drinking and is it getting better.. not really, I mean in my first year of uni it was harmless jokerish sort of stuff. Then a few years later there is police involvement and behavior that honestly is not me.. like really bizarre stuff.
I think deep down I know I have an abnormal relationship with alcohol.. it's just so hard
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Have you done the AA list of questions? ... https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org...Is-AA-for-you? (From what you say I'd be surprised if you didn't respond yes to 4 or more). Or there is the young persons version (not much different)... https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org...r-Young-People
AA in my area does have a specific meeting for young people, so I'm guessing lots of areas do the same. But saying that, the same young people come to all the other meetings and are very, very welcome to do so (and older people go to the young people's meeting as well, as much because we want to see it continuing and the rents are fairly expensive around here, so meetings need to be well attended).
You will be made very welcome at any AA meeting. You can say that you think alcohol is becoming problematic for you, but you're uncertain if you are an alcoholic or not. That's pretty much what I said when I went to my first meeting. (I think I was secretly hoping they'd tell me how to drink normally And send me on my way haha). And, if you're anything like me, as you sit and listen to what people say the chances are that you will relate to what they are sharing, and you will know what you need to do. Unless you really do want to dig a deeper 'bottom ' for yourself.
Are you in the UK?
Take care.
BB
AA in my area does have a specific meeting for young people, so I'm guessing lots of areas do the same. But saying that, the same young people come to all the other meetings and are very, very welcome to do so (and older people go to the young people's meeting as well, as much because we want to see it continuing and the rents are fairly expensive around here, so meetings need to be well attended).
You will be made very welcome at any AA meeting. You can say that you think alcohol is becoming problematic for you, but you're uncertain if you are an alcoholic or not. That's pretty much what I said when I went to my first meeting. (I think I was secretly hoping they'd tell me how to drink normally And send me on my way haha). And, if you're anything like me, as you sit and listen to what people say the chances are that you will relate to what they are sharing, and you will know what you need to do. Unless you really do want to dig a deeper 'bottom ' for yourself.
Are you in the UK?
Take care.
BB
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Jake,
I hope you don't mind, but I've reread this thread and your other one and just picked out the 'red flags' that I see there....
Altered patterns of drinking I.e you've progressed to drinking alone
You think obsessively about alcohol at times
Alcohol has negatively affected your relationships
Alcohol has negatively affected your course (I.e. your work)
You use alcohol to self-medicate for stress (although it's counter-productive to do so)
Alcohol has led you to be involved with the police
You are secretive about the extent of your drinking with those who care about you.
Even drinking at home you drink til you pass out
Once you start drinking you drink to excess, even if you only intended to have a couple.
Alcohol has caused you to act against your integrity (doing things or acting in ways you would never choose to do sober)
It has affected your mental health (causing such concern that friends took you to hospital)
A single drinking event can set off a drinking spree over days.
You know. It's easy to think, 'I can't be an alcoholic, because I don't drink every day'. Thing is, there are some people who don't drink alcoholically who actually CAN drink every day, because they'll only have one or two and it won't do any of the above. It doesn't wreak havoc in their lives.
We can also think of the one or two times that we just went out and had a few ourselves and it was all okay, and tell ourselves, "you see, I CAN drink normally". Thing is, for myself it was like Russian roulette. I could never tell when the poop was gonna hit the fan and when I'd be okay. But it got so that the poop flew more and more often as time went on. And maybe that's the pattern you're starting to see. If you stop sooner rather than later you can minimise the impact it will have on your career, your relationships, your health (physical and mental), your police record, your self-respect and self-worth (and that s a BIG deal), and your finances. And the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to extricate yourself from the more, because that obsession to drink grows.
BB
I hope you don't mind, but I've reread this thread and your other one and just picked out the 'red flags' that I see there....
Altered patterns of drinking I.e you've progressed to drinking alone
You think obsessively about alcohol at times
Alcohol has negatively affected your relationships
Alcohol has negatively affected your course (I.e. your work)
You use alcohol to self-medicate for stress (although it's counter-productive to do so)
Alcohol has led you to be involved with the police
You are secretive about the extent of your drinking with those who care about you.
Even drinking at home you drink til you pass out
Once you start drinking you drink to excess, even if you only intended to have a couple.
Alcohol has caused you to act against your integrity (doing things or acting in ways you would never choose to do sober)
It has affected your mental health (causing such concern that friends took you to hospital)
A single drinking event can set off a drinking spree over days.
You know. It's easy to think, 'I can't be an alcoholic, because I don't drink every day'. Thing is, there are some people who don't drink alcoholically who actually CAN drink every day, because they'll only have one or two and it won't do any of the above. It doesn't wreak havoc in their lives.
We can also think of the one or two times that we just went out and had a few ourselves and it was all okay, and tell ourselves, "you see, I CAN drink normally". Thing is, for myself it was like Russian roulette. I could never tell when the poop was gonna hit the fan and when I'd be okay. But it got so that the poop flew more and more often as time went on. And maybe that's the pattern you're starting to see. If you stop sooner rather than later you can minimise the impact it will have on your career, your relationships, your health (physical and mental), your police record, your self-respect and self-worth (and that s a BIG deal), and your finances. And the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to extricate yourself from the more, because that obsession to drink grows.
BB
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