Neena

Stay strong Horn. Please! I’m rooting for you. I want to be 2 weeks sober, you have to have a plan , think of something! You can do this!!

Gilmer

I’m so sorry, Horn.

Ladysadie

So sorry for your news. Is divorce here absolutely eminent? I ask because many couples are able to work through their infidelity issues given time. It sounds like you have good reason to stay in this marriage (your children). They are worth fighting for, money aside.

Worst case scenario: It sounds like you are young enough to bounce back financially (talent, future earnings being what you make of it, well-connected and well respected in your business).

And here is a point worth mentioning - if your custody is to be shared, don't you want your children to have a good environment? I mean, most mothers want good things for their children. I trust that you love/loved your wife and chose a woman who had class, compassion, respect, and something going for herself to begin with. You sound like the kind of man that "picked" well.

Trust that life extends past the pain of the moment in time. Deal with it one day at a time, take deep breaths, be your classy self.

StellaBlu

So sorry to hear about your situation. I would be mad as he!! as well.

I once had a friend who a (seemingly) 'good guy' (grafter) at a conference she went to. He lived in another state. Long story short, they began a long distance relationship for a short period of time - got engaged very quickly. And then he coerced her to send him a check for $30,000 so that he could buy a new truck because he crashed his old one. And she did! And then never heard from him again. But the $30,000 was her entire life savings at the time (she was young).

On the flip side, I suggest that you od something right now that gets yourself thinking and obsessing about something completely other than your wife (and yourself). You sound like you have enough money to give yourself some options. Fly to Paris and see the Eifel Tower. Go skydiving. Volunteer at the local animal shelter or the local food pantry. Something that takes you totally outside of yourself - maybe even scares you a little.

I wish you the best.

DontRemember

Sorry to hear,man. After your last post about the issues in the marriage i kinda saw it coming(gave me flashbacks of my past). Either way..get back to a meeting and take everything day-day. I'd have gladly paid my cheating exwf to go away and leave my daughter alone..I did pay a chunk,but my(our) life got better without her in it.

apollo986

I agree with the other posts as well Horn. You feel much worse if you drink.
Conversely, you'll feel better if you resist the drink. You can do it!

Be strong!

Dropsie

Horn,

You have amazing support my friend.

I am also a lawyer, no prenup, also cost me. Lawyers are really bad at protecting themselves I find. On the plus side, not many lawyers these days with that much dosh to worry about...

The other things lawyers are really bad about is seeking advice from other lawyers. You need to find the best most connected divorce lawyer and get them on retainer now. I always advise my friends to see a bunch to see a bunch and tell them enough that they are all conflicted out of acting foe the spouse (just saying).

You may decide to patch things up for now, but even so a good lawyer can help you do the best you can to protect yourself going forward.

Now, about last night. I hope you will take fifteen minutes and read this, which Otter suggested on another thread. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553654/

Make this a lapse -- don't turn it into a relapse. I say you have 15 days minus one.

In ten years that one won't matter unless you make it matter now in how you react.

One good act at a time, together we go.

XX

tomsteve

i think its more,"so this is what part of the journey down to rock bottom looks like."

this could have been a good lesson for you,Horn. as hard as the group of us here tried, no human power was able to keep you from drinking.
it could be a lesson showing that you could use a power greater than yourself to help.

i hope your sponsor gets you pointed in that direction

AnvilheadII

just remember horn, that bottle of scotch will take way more away from you than any other person ever could.....and you would be willingly handing it all over.

daredevil

Horn,

You still have between 2 and 2.5 millions to get and stay sober.

And your natural-born children.

I'd be sufficiently compelled were I in your situation.

Dee74

I'm sorry you drank Horn. Sounds painful in a whole mess of ways.

Stick by your sponsor, your AA buds and us - you can get through this without another wasted night.

D

wpainterw

Yes, Horn, alcohol has made a mess of your life. Ask yourself, what is money, what is worse than self medicating with alcohol, loss of independence, hell on earth and inside one's head and soul? Try to live in the NOW. There was a time many years ago when I had to focus on only one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. AA is a good port to anchor in when the storm hits. There's safety there, camaraderie, even laughter. It may not be the only path up the mountain of recovery, but many have taken it. It's good to have comrades on the rope, doing it together. climbing towards the sunshine.

Spring is coming now. The trees are starting to bud, the animals emerging from their winter dens, the evening sunsets long and beautiful. Live in the NOW. Each day of sobriety is a gift. Worth more than all the money, all the gold in the world. A soul brought back from the nightmare of alcohol.
Good luck to you my friend.
And every good wish.

Bill.

Ladysadie

hoping you stayed strong Horn. Not sure whether that was your goal or not (to stay sober). At the very least I hope you have a Holy wonderful Easter weekend. Much prayers for you dear Horn.

Mac4711

So sorry that all of this is happening to you! But I guess what you must have realized this morning is that turning to alcohol will only numb the pain for a few hours. The next morning you wake up and things are the same or, as a this case, they got worse!
Time to focus on what you need to do:
1) stay sober
2) take care of the divorce
3) start building your new life

1) is the most important item of all. I know things may look aweful now, but get back on your feet and fight and in a year from now you will be so much better off! We will support you every way we can, you are not doing this alone!

Horn95

Thanks everyone. Sunday morning and i’m Picking up the pieces. The support from the folks on this site is incredible. I am dreading telling my sponsor about all this.

Ladysadie

Forgiveness of self is as easy as you want to make it. It's a brand new day, full of promises. Get back on that horse and ride!

biminiblue

Your sponsor will be the best resource right now. I say call him or text him right now and let him know what's going on. Get it off your chest so it doesn't fester.

He's seen it all before...don't let pride keep you in bondage.

Gilmer

I’m sure he will want to help you.

nez

You might just get what you want

Stop treating yourself this way, unless this is what you want. I can't imagine it is.

I drank over a lot of things. Whenever I regained consciousness, the "things" hadn't changed one damn bit! I had to be beaten into submission before I could finally figure out the "thing" I could change was my future by focusing on the present instead of allowing the past to chew up.

wpainterw

Yes, focus on the present, the NOW. The past is gone. I had a past similar to yours. AA helped me and as the years passed it got better and better. Fellow alcoholics helped me. And my Higher Power. Family matters put a lot of stress on me these days but after nearly 30 years of sobriety, it just doesn't occur to me to think of drinking. I eat too many cookies, etc. Good luck. Hang in there!

Bill.