Wastinglife

I just realized I hadn't seen any friends for over a year. (I doubt I make the list for children's birthday parties). I am an extroverted drunk very much, but quite introverted sober. My friends are just Facebook profiles to me now. Alcoholism does that. Even worse for me right now is I have no clothes at all. Left behind during last move. Actually, haven't bothered buying anything nice for about 5 years. Drank that money away. Which is why I am baffled I went on a few internet dates couple months ago. I only have 1 pair of jeans and 2 sweaters for christ sake!

August252015

Thanks for sharing.

I don't know your story, but I can relate somewhat to the introvert/extrovert thing.

I've been a lifelong extrovert, well before drinking at all let alone coming to my alcoholism. What I have realized though, is my capacity for isolation - and that my big extroverted side (that part about needing external stimulus and all) needs a solid "recharge" of more introverted, solitary, drawn from within time and rest alternating so to speak.

Take care and one thing at a time- maybe more clothes and more seriously, gradually finding new friends which has been really rewarding for me.

Best to you.

daredevil

For me being an introvert is a mixed bag as far as sobriety but isolation sure got me in trouble. Engaging with like-minded others has helped me stay sober, so I'd say extraversion is good for sobriety too.

MindfulMan

I am a total extrovert, but have periods of isolation. It was helpful in early sobriety but isolation can be the devil for me. I was often able to moderate social drinking, it was when I was alone that I would pound the drinks to blackout.

Isolation from social activities and a total lack of interest in appearance CAN be symptoms of depression. Or not.

I have bought nearly a whole wardrobe, I have lost a ton of weight and nothing fit. Some of the clothing is for a planned career change where I will need to look more polished.

Ladysadie

For what it's worth - your isolation during sobriety is not as related to non drinking as you may think. What has happened is very sad IMO that people hardly reach out and call someone. I have noticed this trend for several years. Everyone texts if they have anything to say. I find it isolating even if you are a "normal" person. Even when I initiate a call, I feel that people are not inclined to answer but will text me later with an update or whatever the reason I called. I have chewed out my closest friends (those I know who really care about me) but it still gets exasperating.

MindfulMan

I prefer texts, I think its partially an age thing and partially a guy thing. E mail for anything business related.

If someone called me for help or we need to have a detailed conversation I will pick up the phone.

Don't take it personally.

Berrybean

If we're natural introverts then sobriety is definitely the time to embrace that and learn to love ourselves as we are. Over the years I convinced myself (through my drunk acting out) that I was an extrovert party girl. But I could only comfortably be that person drinking. Why? Because it was a crock of poop. Somewhere (probably back in my teens I decided that those kind of people must be happier and more able to cope with life and decided to become one of them. I'm much happier now I'm true to myself. I don't owe anyone loud or confident or entertaining. Now, where's that book...

BB

Ps And by introvert, I don't mean I'm isolating. I do socialise. Quietly, calmly and often with good quality tea and cake.

DontRemember

That made me laugh at myself....sadly..kinda. I wouldn't be trying to 'date' right now..get yourself in order first,otherwise you're just going to go through the same cycle again.

wiscsober

oh my how much of my money went to booze and cigarettes instead of clothes!

Wastinglife

[QUOTE=DontRemember;6841497]That made me laugh at myself....sadly..kinda. I wouldn't be trying to 'date' right now..get yourself in order first,otherwise you're just going to go through the same cycle again.[/QUOTE

I was drinking when I arranged these dates. Don't forget, 6 beers has the effect of making you fabulously wealthy and glamorous. I have no concern for future consequences when I drink unfortunately. I don't have a filter that tells me that some things are not a good idea. Impulsive spending for me is just absurd. I don't even use Tinder sober. At least if I was sober I may not tell such a pack of lies. I never could remember any detail the next day. Just that I made another collosal waste of money, hence why I have no clothes. My priorities seem to be the ones at the very bottom of most sensible people's list. I mean, I have no food in the fridge at all times yet decide to spend $200 on a complete stranger I will never see again

Outonthetiles

Extrovert here, but drinking made me isolate, big time. It was terrible. I basically eliminated everyone from my life so I could stay in the house and drink after work. It was horrible and I was slowly dying.

overforty

I can relate so much to this
I've eliminated everyone in my life - I either don't speak to them at all anymore - or people have stopped asking me to do things because I always cancel to stay home alone and drink.