Dealing with relapse - restarting sobriety - thoughts?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 51
Dealing with relapse - restarting sobriety - thoughts?
Hi All,
It has been a while since I posted. I finally got some success, attending meetings and i had just over 2 months AF under my belt. Everything started falling into place, and I was hit with a sudden sense of (some kind of) depression... and very quickly I relapsed. It has been 11 days and I just feel horrible. Need to get back on the wagon, going to a meeting tomorrow and will make it a point to share.
It might be that after those 2 months, sobriety started becoming my new normal, and I suddenly did not know what 'to do with myself' kind of thing - what now?! ...I guess sobriety was not the absolute number 1 priority anymore and I began looking at other things in life. damn it... here's to getting on track though. Would really appreciate any thoughts!
It has been a while since I posted. I finally got some success, attending meetings and i had just over 2 months AF under my belt. Everything started falling into place, and I was hit with a sudden sense of (some kind of) depression... and very quickly I relapsed. It has been 11 days and I just feel horrible. Need to get back on the wagon, going to a meeting tomorrow and will make it a point to share.
It might be that after those 2 months, sobriety started becoming my new normal, and I suddenly did not know what 'to do with myself' kind of thing - what now?! ...I guess sobriety was not the absolute number 1 priority anymore and I began looking at other things in life. damn it... here's to getting on track though. Would really appreciate any thoughts!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
I relapsed several times after a month or two. I had to keep getting back up and trying again. I noticed I do hit a rough patch every so often and I just have to let it ride out and not pick up. It gets easier to do that. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Leduc, Ab
Posts: 758
Welcome back, I've done it too Lone so your not alone. I relapsed multiple times after a good stint of sober time.
What I've learned and I can only speak for myself; is that sobriety has to come 1st before anything else, my job, my family, friends ect. I have to be on guard each and everyday and I do that by coming on here each morning and making my commitment on the 24hr thread just for today. For me, I also can't let up on my recovery plan which includes going to meeting every week and talking with my sponsor. I always have to be ready for that time when my brain will tell me " Hey your doing well, one drink wont hurt" My brain & thinking is my worst enemy when it comes to that 1st drink, I have no defense against it unless I do these things.
Just my thoughts.
Glad your back on track
What I've learned and I can only speak for myself; is that sobriety has to come 1st before anything else, my job, my family, friends ect. I have to be on guard each and everyday and I do that by coming on here each morning and making my commitment on the 24hr thread just for today. For me, I also can't let up on my recovery plan which includes going to meeting every week and talking with my sponsor. I always have to be ready for that time when my brain will tell me " Hey your doing well, one drink wont hurt" My brain & thinking is my worst enemy when it comes to that 1st drink, I have no defense against it unless I do these things.
Just my thoughts.
Glad your back on track
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 154
I believe that's what is referred to as the "pink cloud." IE, the period where all of the benefits of sobriety are at the forefront and you notice the difference in your life with great clarity.
As amazing as these benefits are, they do eventually become integrated into your "normal" and you notice them less. The regular problems that everybody faces are still there and your sobriety doesn't magically make them go away. BUT, you have to remember that having the benefits of sobriety integrated into your normal is a HUGE advantage over the "drunk normal." Your cognitive abilities are sharper, so the stresses of life can be handled with actual precision rather than just being ignored or dealt with the wrong way.
It's great that you're back and already at 11 days in. Next time you feel the urge, reach out, vent, play the tape forward.
As amazing as these benefits are, they do eventually become integrated into your "normal" and you notice them less. The regular problems that everybody faces are still there and your sobriety doesn't magically make them go away. BUT, you have to remember that having the benefits of sobriety integrated into your normal is a HUGE advantage over the "drunk normal." Your cognitive abilities are sharper, so the stresses of life can be handled with actual precision rather than just being ignored or dealt with the wrong way.
It's great that you're back and already at 11 days in. Next time you feel the urge, reach out, vent, play the tape forward.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Perhaps you found out the extent of your window of opportunity. Mine was three weeks. I could go to loads of meetings, or none, and the most I could ever last was three weeks, before the internal condition came back, I became uncomfortable in my own skin, and reached for my old solution.
They talk about this a lot in the AA Big Book. If we don't find a spiritual experience, sooner or later the obsession will return and we will go drink.
One of the best kept secrets in AA is that working the steps at a good clip with an experienced sponsor who has travlelled the same path is the only way (AA has) to have the requisite spiritual awakening or experience. Meetings alone will not do it, and AA has never claimed they will.
Everybody gets this window of opportunity at the start. In this period, staying sober is not too difficult. But, we do not know how long it will stay open. It is different for everyone. For me last time, three weeks, for you last time, two months. The only way I know to extend that is to get busy on the steps. When I did that, I recovered.
They talk about this a lot in the AA Big Book. If we don't find a spiritual experience, sooner or later the obsession will return and we will go drink.
One of the best kept secrets in AA is that working the steps at a good clip with an experienced sponsor who has travlelled the same path is the only way (AA has) to have the requisite spiritual awakening or experience. Meetings alone will not do it, and AA has never claimed they will.
Everybody gets this window of opportunity at the start. In this period, staying sober is not too difficult. But, we do not know how long it will stay open. It is different for everyone. For me last time, three weeks, for you last time, two months. The only way I know to extend that is to get busy on the steps. When I did that, I recovered.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
welcome back LoneWolf.
I reckon I wouldn't have made it past a few months without support.
I used the heck out of this place.
Yeah it's a pain to have to focus on recovery every day and stuff but...its worth it.
As you'd know there's nothing good back the way we came.
D
I reckon I wouldn't have made it past a few months without support.
I used the heck out of this place.
Yeah it's a pain to have to focus on recovery every day and stuff but...its worth it.
As you'd know there's nothing good back the way we came.
D
The Long and Winding Road....
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 897
hey coming back from relapse is hard
and gets harder with each successive one.....
I oughta know ive had enough of them
it has to be your number one priority cos if it aint well..........
lean in my friend.
and gets harder with each successive one.....
I oughta know ive had enough of them
it has to be your number one priority cos if it aint well..........
lean in my friend.
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
Hi LoneWolf - that sounds a lot like me and my experiences with relapse. I've relapsed more times than I can count, and I normally couldn't seem to get past a month or two.
I'm at three months now, and I owe it to sticking VERY closely to my supports. I lurk and post in these forums every day, and I am working closely with a sponsor through the 12 steps.
I know it sucks the first few weeks, especially after "losing" the previous stretch of sober time. For me, I just had to put one foot in front of the other to build that time back up. Time passes slowly....but it inevitably passes.
Best wishes to you.
I'm at three months now, and I owe it to sticking VERY closely to my supports. I lurk and post in these forums every day, and I am working closely with a sponsor through the 12 steps.
I know it sucks the first few weeks, especially after "losing" the previous stretch of sober time. For me, I just had to put one foot in front of the other to build that time back up. Time passes slowly....but it inevitably passes.
Best wishes to you.
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