10 days sober but struggling today.
 

Hi guys,

It has been ten days since I last got drunk (I am a binge drinker) and decided to stop drinking. I found the first weekend pretty easy to get through but now, with this weekend fast approaching, I am really craving.

What hasn't helped is that a very old friend and drinking buddy who has been working abroad contacted me yesterday to say he'll be back this summer and 'can't wait to have a few beers' with me.

This started off a chain of thoughts which began with me thinking things like, 'oh maybe if I stay sober until the summer it will be alright to have some drinks with my friend,' to 'if I'm going to be drinking in the summer anyway, then what's the point in giving up now. Maybe I'll get some cans for this Friday.'

I tried to talk to my wife about this earlier, and told her I was feeling a bit weak at the moment and struggling with my cravings, but she told me she didn't want to talk about it, because talking about alcohol was making her want some. She doesn't have a binge drinking problem like me (she can just have one or two drinks and be happy) and she is doing me a big favour by also abstaining for a few weeks so I will not have the temptation around the house.

Anyway, I am just writing this to vent really. I hope I don't feel like this tomorrow.

One positive note though- last weekend (my first sober weekend in ages) was fantastic. I spent really quality time with my wife and daughter and I even managed to go for a hike with a workmate. Not having a hangover on Saturday and Sunday means you can do so much more. It was so good to not feel like crap.

So I have to keep this up!

Does anyone have any advice for me about what to do about my old drinking friend coming back though? I feel like it will upset him if I'm not drinking and it's also really tempting to drink with him because we have had so many good sessions in the past.......

Ten days is great! Keep strong.

You tell him you've quit drinking, and as much as you would like to see him and catch up--no drinking. If he's upset, that's his problem.

Or, if you want to leave the door open to drinking, you can say nothing, wait until he gets back, and see if he twists your arm into drinking with him.

Hello and welcome to SR, steve202020.

Congratulations on 10 days of sobriety; well done.

My suggestion is to be honest with your friend; let him know in advance that you are seriously seeking lasting sobriety and recovery; it will give you the opportunity to have an open and frank conversation with him well in advance of your meeting.

Why not suggest a meeting outside of a bar setting; maybe have him to dinner.

Hang in there.
Coming here to talk it through is a good idea.
Your wife being on board with you and being honest enough to know her limits is important.
She can still help you hold the line, whilst you can talk things out here.
It is early days, you have time to come up with a plan for your friend, but it sounds like you need to decide now that drinking with him isn't something you are going to do.

You could always say you are on anti biotics so can't or on call for work (depending on your job).

Thanks for sharing. Now is a great time to test your honesty. Tell him the truth, be honest, admit you have discovered you cannot drink and survive. Or......Not. Blessings to you, I hope you choose what is best for you. Keep coming back. Perhaps go to a meeting?

I think this is my problem. There is a part of me that still doesn't want to let go of the drinking as I often enjoy the feeling of being drunk- socialising, listening to music etc under the influence.

But I know I am a binge drinker and sometimes don't know when to stop. Once I've had a few beers I can find it difficult to stop and I can just keep on drinking to excess. And I don't want to do this any more as I have a four year old daughter and I don't want to be a Dad who is drunk every weekend.

I guess the best thing to do is to let my friend know as soon as possible that I'm taking giving up drinking seriously and my wife is supporting me. I guess if he really is my friend then even if he doesn't understand, he will accept what I am trying to do.

I agree, steve202020; if he is a true friend, he will want what is best for you.