The mean drunk.
 

Anyone else become easily enraged at a perceived slight when drunk? This will happen when I am highly intoxicated sometimes and I have strained relationships with family, friends, girlfriends. I feel guilt and shame for things that happened but I wonder where this rage will come from. I wouldn't ever get mad when sober.

Alcohol inhibits Executive function. Impulse control is one of the first things to go.

It comes back with continuous sober time and some inside work.

Are you drinking again?

rageaholic alcoholic here that hasnt had to be concerned with any of that since i stopped drinking

yep, me too. I was horrible when drunk. Angry and nasty.

I am not now. I am kind and gentle.

Yup, I was easily ruled when drinking. It didn't take much and I knew I could be nasty
I also in my drunken stupors, decided to delete several people off my social media. To which they then got hurt and annoyed at my actions- all because I felt they were shutting me out and becoming a group of their own. This happened months and months ago and I'm still feeling the consequences of these actions.

However, the way I look at it now-sober- it was the past, I can't change it. Only try to be better now, which I believe I am making improvements.

Not me.. I was polite as could be..especially when in a blackout, the kindness really came out and I was adored by all. Said no honest person ever!

That old chestnut, what can be a joke at 1 drink is an insult after 5.

Another way alcohol destroys relationships to get you on your own so it can chew you up some more before spitting you out. IF you’re lucky.

Have to hold my hand up for this. When i thought which to me was 2 drinks, was to them i was drunk. I have alot of memory problems now and unsure if its me or my family. Guess its me when i am drunk, but find it hard to take when i am sober and from things i remember is from before my blackout is im an ashole. sry i am an ******* when sober which i find very confusing, due to is it me taking control and getting **** together or is it things are even more a problem.

sry have had a bad week. xx

My father is a very mean drunk. He had a terrible childhood and occasionally when he is drunk the anger comes bubbling up. We had many a Christmas, Thanksgivings and New Years ruined because of him. At 74 years old he seems to have finally gotten a grip on it.

My mother was a toxic mean-mouthed drunk and I followed right in her footsteps.

Oh yeah, definitely. I would not only be mean, but incredibly arrogant, and sometimes nonsensically conspiratorial if I was too far gone.

I think that's pretty par for the course, it was for me anyway.

There is occasionally the reverse. A friend's ex husband was the nicest sweetest most fun person when he was drinking and was a total curmudgeon otherwise. I always said he was a mean sober.

all the time. I had many many resentments - most of them ridiculous. Do not miss that.

D

I often had a bad temper when drinking...I was really judgmental and if I felt judged in anyway I was quick to retaliate. It was really unattractive!! The only cure for it is not to drink. :)

I wasn't usually a super mean drunk, more of a numbed-out one (especially towards the end), but I have a family member who is VICIOUS sometimes. She is in her 70s now, and is the most charming person you would ever want to meet, 99% of the time. But that 1%...WOW.

My exAgf was like this,until she wasn't and it was just like flipping a coin on which 'person' was going to show up when drinking. Eventually it turned into a double sided coin. Sober she was always in a bad mood it seemed. Just an unhappy person. :dee

Yeah. I now understand (through my recovery work) that most of my rages came from a place of fear though. For example, fear of being: Criticised, ridiculed, humiliated, falsely accused, persecuted, disbelieved, despised, or forgotten.

My fear tended to flip so quickly into rage that I barely noticed the fear to be honest - I suppose it was one of those faulty coping strategies I'd learned fairly early, and perfected quickly, because rage feels safer than fear (although actually rage and anger is actually more poisonous to us in the long term).

Great thing with sobriety is that although I have felt rage a few times since stopping drinking, I've never acted on it in any really harmful way as I have done when drinking, and the longer I'm in recovery, the less often I feel rage.

BB

So true B.B. We talked a lot in IOP how anger is often a “false emotion.” When you get through it, there is often fear and hurt under it. Anger is easier and often a defense against pain.

I am learning so much through my 4th Step work with my therapist. Exploring and feeling what’s under the resentment is really healing me.