Done4Ever

I really have to nail it this time. I feel more dedicated than ever. I am done with day 2. I am sure, if I don’t have medical issues already, I am close to getting them so this time it needs to stick. I’ve been very lucky in my job that it hasn’t cost me it yet. But, that too would happen if I don’t stop this crazy level of binge drinking.

I’ve enlisted my friends and others telling them I don’t want to drink any more.

I know every time over done well I’ve come here so I’ll be coming often and posting.

Tonight I can’t sleep. This is hard with the insomnia.

Wanting to hit 1 week then 2, then 4 then more!!

Snowydelrico

Welcome done, good positive mental attitude.
Have you tried some relaxation routines.
Get your mind in tune with your body.

You’ll get lots of support here.
Happy questing

LMSober

Sending positivity your way! We can do this.

If I can't sleep I like to take a small amount of melatonin. It does the trick for me.

Snowydelrico

You’re doing the right thing in quitting.

Things NEVER get better only gradually worse if you choose to drink.
You could be another 10 or so years finding this answer out if you choose to drink.

You’ve chosen not to drink. Very wise chioce.
NEVER doubt your decision no matter what.
Very good things lie ahead for you.

August252015

What's your plan for staying sober this time?

tomsteve

glad you were able to make it back.
something you posted last july:

In the end, I realize it is up to me and my ability to stick with it.

youve enlisted your friends and others- what does that mean?

hope you decided to get a program/plan into action and stick with it.

Nonsensical

Those are just numbers.
What do you really want, and what are you going to do to get it?
Writing down goals is very helpful to attaining them.

Congrats on your decision to live a sober life.
You can do this!

Done4Ever

At work, so not a long reply. A lot of other activities is my first part of plan. Instead of spending crazy amounts of money at bars on alcohol, I’ll rent movies, read books, eat better foods.

I know it’s early, but I feel as if I have had a mind shift. In the past was always thinking of when or how I could justify a drink or when it had been long enough for me to try again. I have no thoughts of that, at all.

Back to work.

Hevyn

You sound motivated and ready to do this, Done4. I knew for years that I could never drink like a normal person - but I kept trying. Finally I admitted I had no control once it was in my system. It was wonderful to get free of it & live my life without being trapped. You can do it.

Done4Ever

That's what I kept telling myself, "sure I'll just have one or two", then it ends up being 8 or more. Been an idiot for too long. I know it won't always be easy, but I honestly feel a mind shift this time. I don't have the usual voice in the back of my head saying, 'make it 3 weeks then I can drink'. I'm going to push to stay in this mindset!

Excited but also nervous as I will need to go to the doctor and see if I have any internal issues due to the 20+ years of drinking with the last 10 being very heavy. But, I can wait on that for a bit as I am a little excited to see what I do with all this free time I have.

Gym is one thing I am starting back up. Used to always go, now I'm back at it!!! Will need to start running a few days a week!

gettingsmarter

You really can do it. Take the option of drinking completely off the table. It's just not an option available anymore.

gettingsmarter

I'll add when you quit drinking it opens up so much more of a meaningful life. The world is much better off if us alcoholics don't drink.

Done4Ever

Thanks gettingsmarter,
I think for the first time your handle can describe me. Known for years I needed to stop, and never fully did. Was a 4-6 night a week binge drinker. What a waste. Always had the desire should I say, but never the right mindset. I feel different this time.

Sophie11

Hi Done4Ever, I relate! For years I knew I wanted to cut back, or quit... but my AV was also always plotting the next drink. But two weeks ago I had a mental shift too, like you. I don’t know what exactly caused it, but my mindset changed and I just knew I truly didn’t want to drink anymore.

At first I didn’t trust it: too many times in the past I’ve been ‘sure’ I wanted to quit while lying in bed with a hangover... and by the following evening found myself thinking that I was ready for a night out. But this time the feeling was qualitatively different. I don’t know what changed but I knew this wasn’t an ‘I’m hungover and swear never again’ moment...

It’s nice to read from someone who seems to have had a similar experience. Isn’t it liberating? Don’t get me wrong, it’s been difficult at times to ditch the booze... but this mind shift has vastly shored up my inner strength and I’m soooooo grateful for it.

Congrats on the sobriety!

Done4Ever

Thanks Sophie11,
I agree - not saying I won't have challenges but this feels very different. I'm not feeling like I'll miss the bars, or the people, while every time in the past I was contemplating how or when it would work for me to go back and hang out.

My wake up call could be the fact I have edima in my ankles, so of course that scares the crap out of me. Didn't notice that till last night, so not even what made me want to change, but this is definitely a different feeling.

I'm excited for me and this, scared for going to Doctor as the amount of binge drinking surely has wrecked my liver. I did get blood tests about 2 months ago and LFT's were all fine, but I don't think means everything is good. I don't know. I guess the worst part is in the evening when I start to worry about the idea I gave my self a death sentence. But, I don't have any urge to drown that with alcohol, which is what I would of done in past.

Definitely going to post here a lot, as I have been around for a while and reading everyone's stories used to a,ways wonder how the made a year or longer. Seemed so impossible in the past. It doesn't seem that impossible anymore.

Looking forward to talking to everyone more.

Jim6253

Ask God for help

Done4Ever

Off to the gym!!! Still not having any doubts in my mind in this. Lots of anxiety hitting about my health.

Sophie11

Hi Done, I totally understand worrying about health... but you’re doing the very best thing for it which is to quit! And hopefully your liver is in a place where it can start healing. Worry over other stuff is probably being compounded by detox anxiety... all I can think to say is: what will be will be and worrying about it until you get your medical workup won’t do any good at all (if anything, might make it worse) so maybe try your best to ‘let it go’ for now? I know that’s MUCH easier to say than do, but just a thought. At this point all you can control is NOT drinking, so focus on that and put the rest on the back burner, as best you can?

Congrats on another sober day! (And well done on the gym... good way to burn off energy... and you’ve already got one up on me health wise! )

Done4Ever

Thanks Sophie!

I completely agree that worrying about my health isn’t going to help. Just treating my body right will. As you said easier said then done. I’ll just keep ticking along staying sober and try not to look for every indication my liver is shot. After so many years binge drinking hard to think it’s even possible it would be ok. But, at least for today I’ll just get back to the job and enjoy the great feeling of no traces of alcohol in my body!!!

Weird that one week ago, I would of already been thinking that maybe going out after work and having a few glasses of wine would be great. Now I have no desire. I haven’t had to deal with the AV, yet. But preparing myself with ways to deal with it should it come and planning for how to address it/avoid it.

Have a great day everyone!

August252015

I still don't hear a definite plan in your posts.

Desire
Feels different
Waiting and hoping

These are good FEELINGS to have - but they are not sustainable.

I hope you look up Dee's thread on "why I keep talking about a plan?" - and make a concrete, specific, ACTIONABLE one to get and keep you sober through all the feelings, life events, just average days - everything- that comes.