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Need to stop drinking! Only ever stopped

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Old 03-19-2018, 07:31 AM
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Need to stop drinking! Only ever stopped

Hello there, I am neena. I feel so bad! Had too much to drink again and said silly things! It’s just becoming apology after apology! I’m setting such a bad example for my daughters! I can’t shake the embarrassment.

Last edited by Neena; 03-19-2018 at 07:42 AM. Reason: First time doing this!
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Old 03-19-2018, 07:50 AM
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When we get to the stage where we are truly sick and tired or being sick and tired. When we have decided that we don't want to carry on as things are. Then it's time to stop digging for a deeper rock bottom.

It is probably terrifying to contemplate sobriety. But it really is the answer.
After all, if nothing changes nothing will change. And it sounds like alcohol is causing you more pain than it is helping to escape from it. You can get off that crazy merry-go-round, just like so many of us here did.

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Old 03-19-2018, 04:02 PM
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Welcome to SR Neena

SR really helped me to turn my life around and live a life unashamed & umembarrassed. I know we can help you too

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Old 03-19-2018, 06:16 PM
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Welcome Neena! This a great place to work on sobriety! We’ve all experienced that shameful feeling because of the use of alcohol. Be here often, read, learn and post. Sobriety is possible!
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Old 03-19-2018, 06:35 PM
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Welcome, Neena - you've made a great decision. Alcohol turned me into a stranger - I never knew what would happen once it was in my system. The only way to be safe was to stop all together. You can do it - we will help.
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Old 03-19-2018, 08:05 PM
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Welcome Neena! Congrats on your decision to stop drinking
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Old 03-19-2018, 08:48 PM
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Welcome to SR Neena! This is a great website for support.
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Old 03-20-2018, 12:26 AM
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Thank you everyone. Day 2-still feeling strong.
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Old 03-20-2018, 04:29 AM
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Welcome Neena. Stay close to SR. I stayed on SR most of my first several days. Read and post. It helps!
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Old 03-20-2018, 08:46 AM
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Just arranged to meet my sponser to attend a meeting. Don’t feel like a drink at all but I don’t drink everyday. I just don’t know when to stop. I don’t know if I am an alcoholic? I know it’s a silly question? I suppose the very reason I found this site would confirm I have a problem? But I’m not thinking about a drink-does anyone else feel like this?
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Old 03-20-2018, 08:50 AM
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Glad to hear you are meeting a sponsor and going to a meeting, you will certainly have the opportunity to learn more about addiction while even if you only listen.

It is very common for our thoughts to be all over the map after quitting, and it's not a silly question. You will likely get urges/thoughts of drinking at some point, just remember you are only a couple of days into this...your body and mind need time to adjust.
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Old 03-20-2018, 08:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Neena View Post
Just arranged to meet my sponser to attend a meeting. Don’t feel like a drink at all but I don’t drink everyday. I just don’t know when to stop. I don’t know if I am an alcoholic? I know it’s a silly question? I suppose the very reason I found this site would confirm I have a problem? But I’m not thinking about a drink-does anyone else feel like this?
Don't worry about labels. It doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic or binge drinker. If you're checking out this site your alcohol consumption is concerning to you. Quitting can seem like an insurmountable task, but with the right mindset and support it can be done. While alcohol in small amounts may be beneficial, more often than not it is destructive. Only you can decide whether or not to give it up. Here's an article I came across today:

Despite years of loving alcohol I no longer drink. I am not a recovering alcoholic, nor do I have any religious (or otherwise) views which dictate abstinence. It’s simply that I found the courage to take a hard look at my relationship with alcohol and it became clear that alcohol was taking much more than it was giving.

So why exactly?

1. Alcohol is a sneaky devil
I never made a decision to increase how much booze I was drinking. It just happened. Anything that ‘just happens’ without me being fully aware of why, how, and when is concerning. It means I have less control than I want. Drinking more over time snuck up on me. And when I decided to reverse the trend it was harder than I thought, which leads me to:

2. Alcohol never satisfies (a.k.a. tolerance)
Here is the kicker. It’s only when you have decided to drink less that you realize how much of a grasp alcohol has on you, and how hard it can be to cut back. You think you can simply reverse the trend of drinking more over the years. It’s not that easy. Alcohol demands alcohol. It wants more and if you don’t satisfy the craving it begins to throw a fit. It’s no fun (and just not worth it) to live a life of counting drinks and feeling like you are missing out. Moderation is a moody b*tch who doesn’t deserve my time or effort.

3. Health: Being a non-drinker is the healthiest decision you can make (unless you smoke – if you smoke then quitting smoking is the healthiest)
I told myself that drinking red wine every day had health benefits. When I did the research I was shocked. Not only is that untrue but alcohol was declared a known carcinogen in 1988. And of course there’s common sense: drinking something that makes you feel like sh*t the day after is probably bad for you.

4. Life is more fun without booze
My drinking self would have thought this completely unbelievable but the truth is I have significantly more fun without booze. It’s amazing how many adults – the vast majority – believe that alcohol is key to having a good time. I blew this myth out of the water through some self-experimentation and realized the feelings I think I enjoy from alcohol are actually just a placebo effect. The reality is that alcohol didn’t make anything more fun, but since I believed it was key to my enjoyment of life – I was miserable without it.

5. I feel so much better – every single day
I don’t worry about how much I am drinking – ever. That makes every night out (and every morning after) significantly more fun. I have more money…drinking is expensive. In fact, there has been a 79% increase in the price of booze at restaurants since 1982 – 79%! I have effortlessly lost weight (empty calories) and enjoy all my mornings. I have more energy, am more focused and get significantly more done without alcohol. I see now that I unknowingly made myself slightly ill every single day. Yuck!

6. Alcohol made me dumb
I looked into what alcohol actually does to your brain and not surprisingly alcohol has the very specific effect of slowing down your brain function. Your brain synapses are depressed and your senses are unable to transmit information to your brain as quickly as normal. I tested this. I drank after I’d quit to see exactly how it made me feel. I even recorded the results. The truth is alcohol makes me dumb. My jokes get worse, my stories become scattered, and my nights become monotonous and unmemorable.

Being a non-drinker is 99% awesome, but one thing that pains me: the constant interrogation as to why I don’t partake. Sometimes I find it funny, I mean no one is demanding reasons why I don’t drink soda. Other times it’s downright rude: no I am not pregnant, allergic or on medication. It shows how saturated our society has become; booze is the only drug on earth that you have to justify not taking.

from This Naked Mind website.

Last edited by Dee74; 03-20-2018 at 02:48 PM. Reason: removed commercial link
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Old 03-20-2018, 09:04 AM
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Welcome, Neena. When you wrote "apology after apology" it took me back 20 years when my kids were young. My life was one big apology. How I wish I had quit so very long ago, but there's no do-overs and life goes on. Sounds like you're on the right path and I wish you sobriety at this time in your life because for me, the apologies went on for years and then I just mostly removed myself from the equation of life and isolated, so I only had to apologize a few times/year instead of a few times/week. Believe me, that's no way to live either.
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Old 03-20-2018, 09:15 AM
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Thank you so much

Thank you so much-your reply’s are so heartwarming and helpful. I want to cry! Yes, I will go along tomorrow and learn more.
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Old 03-21-2018, 12:16 AM
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Cancelled my 1st appt with sponser

I had to cancel my appt with my sponser as my daughter ill and at home. Worried that she will think I’m not serious. I dont feel like a drink but I feel soooooo tired! Like completely drained and I am only on day 3??
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