I wasn't strong enough
 

Day 1 out the window, daughter said everything was great and you ruined it omg broke my heart, but clearly not enough to start day 1

Hi, I am back again as well. They do break our hearts but lets try to be great parents from today ?
I feel determined now.......do you ?
C

I hope that post isn't what it seems to be and that you are drinking again today Mums.

Too much suffering in your posts about drinking and too much joy in your posts about sobriety to give in.

Pour out what you have and log in here.

We are thinking about you.

Change is uncomfortable but if it's something you really want, why not try again right now? Day 1 doesn't have to start in the morning. You can stop drinking at anytime.

Hey - btdt! Let’s come out swinging ok?? If you can’t fight for yourself, fight for your daughter. I agree with the person above - so much joy is felt in your sober posts and so much hurt in the not sober posts.

Hang in there mum. I too relapsed. I had been doing well. And I then I made that awful mistake. I had that first drink, that turned into God only knows how many. I am on Day One all over again too.

We have to know, we can NEVER drink again.

Its clear to your AV. The rest of us see the flaw in this logic.

I waited a long time for something outside me to come along and kick the sh!t out of me hard enough to make me sober. It never happened. The changes I needed had to come from the inside, not the outside.

As lessgravity reminds us beautifully: no one is coming to save us

Not even our children.

Drink some water.
Get some rest.
You have work to do.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Do it for yourself first Mummy and the rest will follow. With the best will in the world, we can't do it for others only for ourselves.

Hugs to you.

You know, this really isn't about 'strength'. It's about acceptance.

Acceptance that alcohol is the problem, not the solution.
Acceptance that early sobriety WILL be uncomfortable, even downright painful, but that will be temporary.
Acceptance that alcoholism is progressive, and if we keep taking that first drink things can only get worse.
And possibly, acceptance that we might need to ask for some help. Just as we would with any other illness.

Xx

Mum,

Hugs to you.

Don't think of it as being "not strong enough". It's a choice. Choosing a better life, being a healthier person. You have the ability to choose.

We choose every time we drink. We say yes or no. But it's up to us what we say "yes" to. When you say "yes" to drinking, you are actually saying "no" to countless other, better things. Say yes to being healthy, aware and present. Say yes to being the person you want to be, building the relationship with your children you want to have. That's worth so much more than any liquid in a glass.

It doesn't take superhuman abilities or strength. You have the power to choose. Don't touch it, don't pick up, don't swallow, repeat. Every moment you go without alcohol in your system, your mind and body will heal.

We are pulling for you.

I,m sorry, but they don't break our hearts ,we break theirs when we pick up the booze . can we blame them ? Ive done it myself many times and it's soul destroying to see that look of disappointment and despair on their faces just when things were healing .

The truth hurts and its true that we are selfish Bas*******s when we pick up drink and care sh*t about our loved ones .

Sorry again but that's how I see it .

You are right of course. Another example of my selfish attitude.....not being accountable.
Thank you for pointing it out, its the sort of thing that I need to hear right now.
C

Don't give up Mummy! You've proven that you ARE strong enough. Climb out of that hole before it gets too deep. ((HUGS))

Just always seem to screw up, my kids deserve so much more

Lets try to give them more.....one day at a time. I have read your past posts and you did amazing. Be amazing again, just like your children are x
C

Mummy, your AV loves when you feel like bad about yourself. Gosh, I was a pro at it! Don't listen!! You can absolutely pick yourself up and start again.

I believe in you! Kick that voice to the curb and show the AV who's boss.

Sending you a great big hug. :hug:

Mummy2 . I am in empathy and completely understand . Iv'e been reading your posts and like many of us just when we thought it was going well ................ Don't be hard on yourself but also please don't try to drown your sorrows with more drink . Stay with us and make your day one Today .

Best and hugs .

They do, and being a sober mom would be the best gift you could ever give them.
It's time to do whatever it takes to get clean. Daily AA meetings, call an addiction center, perhaps even rehab. Help is everywhere, you just need to take a few small steps in the right direction.

Mums - you didn't respond. I hope your aren't drinking today and you've thrown away whatever you had.

What does their mom deserve?

I couldn't give my kids what they deserved until I believed I deserved it, too.

I also could never fix the problem by telling everyone about the problem.

:grouphug: