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Hello all. I relapsed. Feeling pretty bad.

Old 03-18-2018, 03:07 PM
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Hello all. I relapsed. Feeling pretty bad.

I had a good stint of abstinence, and then, well, you all know the story. I can have just a couple. I ended up getting smashed.

Been drinking hard for the past 8 days. My wife has been supportive, but I can tell she is losing respect for me. Heck, I’m losing respect for myself. She deserves better. I deserve better. This is not who I was.

I am now a certifiable alcoholic. I don’t know where bottom is, but it’s getting close.

Please send support wishes. I really, really need it. I would be suicidal if not for all the people who depend on me.
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:12 PM
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Sorry to hear that you went on a bender. It is that first drink that opens up the flood gates! We are all here to support you. Glad you are here to get back on track.
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:12 PM
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glad youre able to make it back,horn. bottom is where you decided to stop drigging.
then you can use the steps(hint hint) to get out.

you were doing pretty good and this could be a very good lesson for ya.
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:12 PM
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They have certificates now?

Put a cork in that bottle, Horn.
Drink a lot of water.
There's work to do.
You're the one that's gonna do it.

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Old 03-18-2018, 03:17 PM
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I'm sorry and I feel your pain. You are doing the right thing by posting here. Keep posting keep reading others posts. You got this. You are do this. Keep trucking buddy. xo
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:18 PM
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dump it out horn. get back on the sober bus.

bottom isn't something that happens with a thud and then big flashing neon sign that says WELCOME you have reached bottom. as TS said, it's the place we stop digging, toss down the shovel and find the ladder.
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:24 PM
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I've relapsed quite a lot over the past few years but fall down 7- get up 8

This past week has really made a difference for me and it's been totally worth trying sobriety out again.
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:31 PM
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Yeah,man..'bottom' is where/when you decide it's just not working for you anymore. For some that's loss of SO/kids,jobs,homes,jail,ect..but it doesn't have to go there. What action based tools/plans do you use? 'Wishing/hoping" myself sober didn't work well. I had to take and continue to take action to NOT drink. Start with small things..a meeting,post/read on here, make daily lists of positive things to do hourly during the first couple months,ect..
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:34 PM
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Get back up, Horn. You can do this.
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:38 PM
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Hi, Horn.
Welcome back.
When we accept that we just can’t drink, our way forward becomes clearer.
Acceptance is key.
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:45 PM
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I'm sorry you've been drinking again Horn but like others have said don't wait for bottom.

The bottom never comes for some of us cos death or dementia gets there first.

You have a lot to fight for Horn - and every time you drink you risk losing it all, bud.

Fight - for yourself, and all you hold dear.

D
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Old 03-18-2018, 05:58 PM
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Since I joined her I relapsed once (I lost my dad in Sept. & his b-day was in end of Feb.). Felt so sad...but I really over did it & was really sick. Maybe that was another bottom. But in the past I've had sooo many bottoms. Now that I look back, those "bottoms" weren't really a rock bottom. I truly don't even want to experience a rock bottom. I took my last bottom as a first rung of a ladder I need to climb-my feet never touched the floor ( I refuse to give up). I'm still on that ladder of sobriety and onward & upward! You can do it! Believe....
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:19 PM
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Don't look for the bottom. Start by stop falling. Then brush off the dust, pull up your bootstraps and get back up. You are better than this Horn. Dump the booze.
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:27 PM
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That was the hardest thing for me, Horn - to admit that there would never be 'just a couple'. Took me years to get it. You can get back to where you were - do not feel defeated.
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Horn95 View Post
I had a good stint of abstinence, and then, well, you all know the story. I can have just a couple. I ended up getting smashed.

Been drinking hard for the past 8 days. My wife has been supportive, but I can tell she is losing respect for me. Heck, I’m losing respect for myself. She deserves better. I deserve better. This is not who I was.

I am now a certifiable alcoholic. I don’t know where bottom is, but it’s getting close.

Please send support wishes. I really, really need it. I would be suicidal if not for all the people who depend on me.
I think the takeaway is after a period of abstinence, you thought you could have a couple. You now the answer to that question, so it's time to start again. This time you are wiser! Don't dig the hole too deep.
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:32 PM
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Horn, I'm sorry that you relapsed, but so glad that you are back and ready to work on your recovery again.
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:35 PM
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Never give up giving up! So you relapsed: shake it off! And start again. You can do this! Your wife will be proud
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:36 PM
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Thank you so much everyone.
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:39 PM
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Welcome back Horn
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:45 PM
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Been following your progress here Horn. Was wondering how you were.

We are in the same lane, wife and kids etc.

I remember your post about Friday being tough.

Get back on the horse man. Focus on your kids. Not on the slip you made.

Sending you strength. Good job posting here. Shows there's a part of you, a very important part, that needs to get the rest of you sober.
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