Melly

I've quit so many times you'd think it would get easier. Ive been trying to ignore my symptoms and not focus on them which typically helps but why have they gotten so much worse? Any scientific reason? The stomach problems, intense anger, intense anxiety, nightmares and mild hallucinations are frustrating me beyond belief today. I wasn't a super heavy drinker (got it down to 6ish drinks per night) so I don't see why they're so bad. I'll have to remember this feeling next time I want to drink and start the process all over..

Melly

I'm kind of freaking out. Everything is amplified and I'm not sure if it's my anxiety or real symptoms. I'm here alone with my daughter sleeping so I'm worried I'm going to have a seizure. Should I order wine or should I take a benadryl?? Sounds are so amplified and I like when I look at my door I panic like someone's going to burst through it. My lips are numb and I want to throw up. Worst part is they sprayed for bugs at my neighbors and the bugs came here so yesterday I saw a huge like beetle thing and now I keep looking everywhere for bugs and it's making me crazy. Helpppp!!!!

goodbyeevan

Maybe you could have a sober friend or family member come stay for the night? Worst case, someone who can drive you to the hospital? There are alcohol abuse hotlines you can find online.

I had DT's once but I got through it, but i wasnt alone. Scared me enough to get me to stop drinking whiskey daily.

It sounds like maybe your body and brain are like mine and adapt to alcohol abuse very quickly. It only takes a few days of 4-5 drinks and i get withdrawals when i stop. It's become worse the older i get.

I hope you can get help! The physical healing I've experienced in such a short time is enough motivation alone for me to keep going. But i know how scary the first few hours and days can be.

Andante

Hi Melly -- I know it's not much help to you to learn this right now when you're going through withdrawal and freaking out with anxiety, but withdrawal symptoms often do get much worse in successive detoxes through a process called "kindling."

Unfortunately, with each successive detox, the risk of having complications like a seizure or DTs (delirium tremens) increases greatly.

Really, the only really safe course of action would be to find someone to look after your daughter so you can go to the ER and seek medical attention immediately. A doctor can give you meds to help avoid seizure and reduce the worst of the anxiety.

Is there anyone you can call to help with your daughter?

Drinking to ward off the withdrawal would be the worst possible idea because you'd just be delaying the inevitable, and it would be that much worse when you finally went through it.

Good luck, and let us know how things go!

Melly

Thanks guys so much for the reply's. I was so scared I called my mom who is also an alcoholic and proceeded to tell me she wants to die. She didn't help me feel better and I have nobody nearby to help so I ordered some beer. I guess I'll have to taper. I had no idea it would get so bad. Every time I turn around something will catch my eye and scare me and make me jump. I really just want to stop drinking but apparently cold turkey isn't an option now. Thank you for the info about the kindling too that makes sense. I used to be a much heavier drinker so I didn't get why it would get worse

Dee74

Can you see your Dr perhaps Melly - they may be able to help you with the anxiety, or give you a professional opinion/instructions on tapering

D

Melly

Unfortunately I don't have insurance and even if I did I work in the medical field and this is a small town so word gets around even though it shouldn't. I am kind of forced to go it alone. I read somewhere tapering is easier with beer so I'll try that and then just drink enough to keep the symptoms somewhat at bay. I'm so thankful for this site! It's sad but you guys are infinitely more helpful than my family

Komplex

How are you doing Melly?

Melly

Thank you for asking, I threw up and then had a few beers and feel a lot better. I'm not sure the best way to go about it but I think I'll just have a few a day until I can go without and not feel so horrible. I can't wait to be done with this and now I know there's no going back. I can never ever drink again.

Komplex

Hang tight, hopefully you can find someone to come by and help tomorrow. I know when I was going through withdrawals it brought me a lot of comfort to have another adult in the house with me and my daughter.

Melly

I wish I had someone but we just moved to a new state and I'm completely alone. I have God and that's enough. Normally tapering wouldn't be an option but I think I'm scared enough that it will actually work. The amount of support I've gotten here has been so humbling. Hopefully after a week or so this will be much easier. Scary what my alcohol abuse has already done to my brain chemistry.

bradly22

It's a tricky beast. I understand where you are coming from. It will get better over time. Please keep us posted.

BarbieKen

Melly,
Anxiety has many causes, I know, been that way my whole life. Yes, alcohol helped in the beginning. After the birth of our son 26 years ago, I finally asked for help from my doctor. For ME, being on a low dose anti-depressant is a lifesaver. I never, ever want to go back to that dark place again.

Maybe see your doctor, small town or not. Shoot, we alcoholics usually aren't 100% honest with our doctors & nurses anyway. At least I wasn't ....."Yes, I do have a glass or two of wine with dinner."

I hope you can find relief Melly. We're here for you!
Bobbi

Melly

I have struggled a lot with mental health. Bipolar runs in the family and is probably a factor for me. I feel so much better sober regardless. Once I can get sober again I can start dealing with the underlying issues. How long have you guys been sober so far? My longest was when I was pregnant of course. I felt so healthy and made so much progress with my mental health

BarbieKen

My Sober Birthday is November 11, 2012. My little Family are all in Recovery! My husband is 12 years, our 26 year old son is 9-1/2 years, then me! We work our own programs individually with lots of support from each other. Sober Family ❤️❤️
Bobbi

BarbieKen

Melly, my only time of being sober was also when I was pregnant with our only child. Not a big deal back then, obviously I crossed a line sometime after 1991 !

Melly

Aww wow Barbieken that is wonderful! I know very painfully how addiction can go from generation to generation so it's so beautiful that your family is sober together. I pray for the same for my family. Wish my mother could be there for me right now but she's so deep in her own addiction

Melly

Oh and I'm also 26. My b day is may 1991. Guess the last time I was really sober I was 12.

D122y

Melly,

All that anxiety etc is what gets folks thrown in the looney bin from too much booze.

I was there, off and on, for years. Not the looney bin, the anxiety and obsessions.

I know that any drinking reset the clock and leaves the door open for a huge relapse. I usually had a huge binge 2 times a month...at least.

They would wreck me.

So i suffered through the crazies with loads of good foods, sleep, and exercise.

It took a long long long time for most of the anxiety etc. To dissappear. I didn't complain, except here.

Healing equals serenity. I didn't really work the steps, but I pray every day.

Thanks.

Rar

I relapsed (I think 3 times). Anyway, this time when I quit drinking, I thought to myself, "I don't remember it being this bad.". I didn't know about kindling. Although I didn't have seizures or DTs, my anxiety was through the roof. At the time I rationalized my anxiety as being due to the fear of DTs and seizures since I knew I was drinking a lot. Knowing about kindling now is a huge motivator in not drinking again. I wish you well with your tapering, though I think you should see a doctor. Please check in and stay close to SR.