The Devil much prefers me drunk
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 182
Thank you ♡
Wow. That was absolutely incredible prose and one of the most relatable posts I think I've read. I'm still trying to wrap my head around addiction and how to break free of its bond. I feel somewhere along this horrid journey I sold my soul, and I desperately want it back. I just hope it's not too late....thank you for sharing and I wish you strength and peace
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh 
alphaomega, I am overjoyed to see you and to hear that you are sober.
You have always been a very special presence here.
So blessed to have you back.
Onward, together; it is so much easier that way.
You have always been a very special presence here.
So blessed to have you back.
Onward, together; it is so much easier that way.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Originally Posted by Hawking22
Wow. That was absolutely incredible prose and one of the most relatable posts I think I've read. I'm still trying to wrap my head around addiction and how to break free of its bond. I feel somewhere along this horrid journey I sold my soul, and I desperately want it back. I just hope it's not too late....thank you for sharing and I wish you strength and peace
You haven’t sold your soul, you just let him rent some space. For free.
Time to call in the sheriff and evict the deadbeat.
XO AO
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Originally Posted by teatreeoil007
Awesome read Alpha!
I'm glad you're not drinking and I fully believe in spiritual Victory over whatever we need dealt with in our lives whether it's addiction, troubled relationships, apathy at our calling in life, strife, persecution, whatever.
How did Jesus REACT when He was persecuted? How did He REACT when Satan tempted Him; tormented Him? How did Jesus overcome? Well, one thing we know He did was He prayed and in the garden just prior to His crucifixion He prayed HARD. He also had the power of Scripture and used it quite regularly when tested/tried. He also had the power of His Father and verbalized that. We too, have these tools today....
Oh, and we also have the whole armor of God ...keep the shield of faith before you....but also put on the rest of the armor...
I also believe that we can tell the devil to depart from us in the name of Christ and he will. Say it with conviction, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to leave." It works, it really does.
Hang in there, friend.
I'm glad you're not drinking and I fully believe in spiritual Victory over whatever we need dealt with in our lives whether it's addiction, troubled relationships, apathy at our calling in life, strife, persecution, whatever.
How did Jesus REACT when He was persecuted? How did He REACT when Satan tempted Him; tormented Him? How did Jesus overcome? Well, one thing we know He did was He prayed and in the garden just prior to His crucifixion He prayed HARD. He also had the power of Scripture and used it quite regularly when tested/tried. He also had the power of His Father and verbalized that. We too, have these tools today....
Oh, and we also have the whole armor of God ...keep the shield of faith before you....but also put on the rest of the armor...
I also believe that we can tell the devil to depart from us in the name of Christ and he will. Say it with conviction, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to leave." It works, it really does.
Hang in there, friend.
Every morning when I draw my first conscious breath, and realize I’m sober, I swear it feels like Christmas morning.
After the smile of pure joy, I thank Him and ask Him to walk with me for the day. To experience all of life’s everything’s with me and stay by my side.
There was a moment today, where such joy overtook me (I was knee deep in stress at work and should have been totally overwhelmed) that I stopped everything I was already behind on and just let it flow.
The only way I can explain it is pure divine joy. It was palpable.
I went deep this time me asked for a lot of help and guidance.
I’m talking full on surrender.
But also full on admittance and accountability.
This time feels as though while I might be on the tightrope, I’m fully supported on all sides.
And I’ll just keep asking and asking and asking for all the help He Can send my way.
XO AO
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
"God is going to PUNISH YOU !"
Growing up, this was my malignant narcissist mothers favorite statement to me when I would be acting up. "Acting up", mind you, was at most typical childhood behavior as they learn how to move about this world. I wasn't killing small animals and ripping the skin off my dolls. I was doing those unforgivable sins such as not minding, refusing to eat rare pot roast and spending too much time in my closet with the little 12 inch black and white TV that was most assuredly going to give me all the cancers from the radiation...
She wasn't a religious person by any means. Was often too hungover to attend church with dad and I. Which he would sanctimoniously throw up in her face when he was pissed at her, yet again, for staying up til the wee hours of the morning, dinking in her chair and talking outloud to what I can only assume now was her "God".
Satan.
Those were some scary freaking times for a 3 year old.
But I digress.
This weekend she was on a full on rampage towards her caretaker. Apparently, she felt like she had been overcharged this week and was angry. Seethingly angry.
I held my breath and prayed a little harder for the caretaker.
No one pisses off the Queen without having to pay for it in some regard.
And, as luck would have it, said caretaker was supposed to show up Monday. And didn't. Because her child was in the ER. Got kicked in the groin accidentally and I guess it was a pretty bad injury.
Nevermind the absolute mortification that poor 12 year old boy had to face while the doctors examined him.
The queen called me in absolute delight shrouded with concern today. In her glory she must have forgotten who she was talking to when she said -
"See ?!? See ??? God IS on my side !!"
Too bad for her that I have been fasting and deep in prayer today.
I am clear and am fully clothed in my spiritual warrior armor.
I asked her, (after I picked my jaw up from the floor) "What, exactly do you mean by that statement? Do you believe "God" punished a child - possibly PERMANENTLY because you felt you got over charge by $60.00?"
"Well, I don't know, but I know his mother is now humbled and damn well appreciating me for everything I do for her!"
Like what mommy. What do you do for her.
Wiping your behind ?
Showering your herpes shingled body ?
Fishing through your vomit when you had food poisoning to make sure your Norco was digested when you had broken your hip ?
Oh yes, for the old food you give her that she takes home to her manual labor husband . I'm sure that's what she is most grateful for. You are so kind. So generous.
Lucky her indeed.
Clearly, we serve two different masters.
Growing up, this was my malignant narcissist mothers favorite statement to me when I would be acting up. "Acting up", mind you, was at most typical childhood behavior as they learn how to move about this world. I wasn't killing small animals and ripping the skin off my dolls. I was doing those unforgivable sins such as not minding, refusing to eat rare pot roast and spending too much time in my closet with the little 12 inch black and white TV that was most assuredly going to give me all the cancers from the radiation...
She wasn't a religious person by any means. Was often too hungover to attend church with dad and I. Which he would sanctimoniously throw up in her face when he was pissed at her, yet again, for staying up til the wee hours of the morning, dinking in her chair and talking outloud to what I can only assume now was her "God".
Satan.
Those were some scary freaking times for a 3 year old.
But I digress.
This weekend she was on a full on rampage towards her caretaker. Apparently, she felt like she had been overcharged this week and was angry. Seethingly angry.
I held my breath and prayed a little harder for the caretaker.
No one pisses off the Queen without having to pay for it in some regard.
And, as luck would have it, said caretaker was supposed to show up Monday. And didn't. Because her child was in the ER. Got kicked in the groin accidentally and I guess it was a pretty bad injury.
Nevermind the absolute mortification that poor 12 year old boy had to face while the doctors examined him.
The queen called me in absolute delight shrouded with concern today. In her glory she must have forgotten who she was talking to when she said -
"See ?!? See ??? God IS on my side !!"
Too bad for her that I have been fasting and deep in prayer today.
I am clear and am fully clothed in my spiritual warrior armor.
I asked her, (after I picked my jaw up from the floor) "What, exactly do you mean by that statement? Do you believe "God" punished a child - possibly PERMANENTLY because you felt you got over charge by $60.00?"
"Well, I don't know, but I know his mother is now humbled and damn well appreciating me for everything I do for her!"
Like what mommy. What do you do for her.
Wiping your behind ?
Showering your herpes shingled body ?
Fishing through your vomit when you had food poisoning to make sure your Norco was digested when you had broken your hip ?
Oh yes, for the old food you give her that she takes home to her manual labor husband . I'm sure that's what she is most grateful for. You are so kind. So generous.
Lucky her indeed.
Clearly, we serve two different masters.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,854
I am so sorry, dear one.
Stay focused on a loving God.
Only when we counter hate with love will we be truly victorious.
And above all, don't drink at her most unkind words.
We love you, dear sweet AO.
Stay focused on a loving God.
Only when we counter hate with love will we be truly victorious.
And above all, don't drink at her most unkind words.
We love you, dear sweet AO.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Energy
The concept (and application) of “Energy” has been something that has both fascinated and frustrated me for as long as I can remember.
I would gather that “Prayer” is a form of positive energy.
As are “thoughts”.
So when someone says “I am sending you thoughts and prayers” what they are essetinally saying is that I am sending you, a concentrated ball of love and light and all things warm and fuzzy. And I’m hoping, that you knowing you are in my thoughts and prayers, will ease your aching heart and help you to begin to feel better.
So prayer is a form of energy. Positive energy with the expressed intent to aid in healing whatever physical, emotional, spiritual wound one is experienceing.
It only makes sense then that negative thoughts and pure unadulterated hatred are ALSO a form of energy (aka, “prayer”).
While the message may be different, the method is essentially the same.
When we feel the very human emotions such as jealousy, envy and fear, our minds start to turn towards the dark places that soothe those uncomfortable chasms. And we literally SEND the recipient our negative thoughts, with a half hearted hope that maybe they won’t reallllllllly land in their laps.
Or that they WILL land.
Have you ever thought about someone and they call ? That’s energy in motion.
Einsteins E= mc2, on its most basic level says that energy and mass (matter) are interchangeable; they are different forms of the same thing.
Tesla believed “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”
Now these concepts tend to frustrate me because I’m very much a “Show and Tell” kinda person. I like things to be tangible. I like to be able to SEE things in order to be able to BELIEVE them. My logical side sorta demands it. So my faith is often my greatest struggle because so much of it is done on the “can’t see it with my own two eyes” level.
But. I can feel it.
When you put a plug into a socket, and the cord isn’t frayed, or your hands aren’t wet, energy is provided and exchanged and a light is turned on. When I was a child, I couldnt wrap my head around it the concept. So I did a little experiment.
I put a penny in that socket instead.
Well, lemme tell you, not only did I FEEL that energy, I SAW it.
And, I saw what it was capable of if it’s not handled with respect.
When we put out energy, via thoughts, it’s imperative that we make every effort to make them as positive as we can.
Because, well, Karma.
My malignant narcissist mother, loves to sit on her throne, and just constantly think nasty thoughts about every perceived wrong she has ever deemed done to her. Her connection to evil is no longer a question but a precise algorithm that has been proven over and over again. I have hundreds of examples. It’s not a matter of giving her and her demonic minions undue props.
This is their world, and I’m just living in it. And pissing the literal hell out of them by not being taken down by it.
She reaps what she sows in the form of physical disease. Her laundry list of ailments reads like War and Peace. And they are true and legitimate. Several cancers don’t lie.
But somehow, she always seems to beat everything. Strange. Almost as if something bigger is keeping her here to do its work.
She can’t escape the universal law of Karma though.
That’s where the playing field gets leveled. What you put out, you get back.
Energy.
The concept (and application) of “Energy” has been something that has both fascinated and frustrated me for as long as I can remember.
I would gather that “Prayer” is a form of positive energy.
As are “thoughts”.
So when someone says “I am sending you thoughts and prayers” what they are essetinally saying is that I am sending you, a concentrated ball of love and light and all things warm and fuzzy. And I’m hoping, that you knowing you are in my thoughts and prayers, will ease your aching heart and help you to begin to feel better.
So prayer is a form of energy. Positive energy with the expressed intent to aid in healing whatever physical, emotional, spiritual wound one is experienceing.
It only makes sense then that negative thoughts and pure unadulterated hatred are ALSO a form of energy (aka, “prayer”).
While the message may be different, the method is essentially the same.
When we feel the very human emotions such as jealousy, envy and fear, our minds start to turn towards the dark places that soothe those uncomfortable chasms. And we literally SEND the recipient our negative thoughts, with a half hearted hope that maybe they won’t reallllllllly land in their laps.
Or that they WILL land.
Have you ever thought about someone and they call ? That’s energy in motion.
Einsteins E= mc2, on its most basic level says that energy and mass (matter) are interchangeable; they are different forms of the same thing.
Tesla believed “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”
Now these concepts tend to frustrate me because I’m very much a “Show and Tell” kinda person. I like things to be tangible. I like to be able to SEE things in order to be able to BELIEVE them. My logical side sorta demands it. So my faith is often my greatest struggle because so much of it is done on the “can’t see it with my own two eyes” level.
But. I can feel it.
When you put a plug into a socket, and the cord isn’t frayed, or your hands aren’t wet, energy is provided and exchanged and a light is turned on. When I was a child, I couldnt wrap my head around it the concept. So I did a little experiment.
I put a penny in that socket instead.
Well, lemme tell you, not only did I FEEL that energy, I SAW it.
And, I saw what it was capable of if it’s not handled with respect.
When we put out energy, via thoughts, it’s imperative that we make every effort to make them as positive as we can.
Because, well, Karma.
My malignant narcissist mother, loves to sit on her throne, and just constantly think nasty thoughts about every perceived wrong she has ever deemed done to her. Her connection to evil is no longer a question but a precise algorithm that has been proven over and over again. I have hundreds of examples. It’s not a matter of giving her and her demonic minions undue props.
This is their world, and I’m just living in it. And pissing the literal hell out of them by not being taken down by it.
She reaps what she sows in the form of physical disease. Her laundry list of ailments reads like War and Peace. And they are true and legitimate. Several cancers don’t lie.
But somehow, she always seems to beat everything. Strange. Almost as if something bigger is keeping her here to do its work.
She can’t escape the universal law of Karma though.
That’s where the playing field gets leveled. What you put out, you get back.
Energy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Your toxic mother is 80% of your problem AO, as mine was.
I know you must get tired of me saying this, but it is true.
The other 20% you can fix with time and healing.
Until she dies or you find a way to step back emotionally,
you have a festering shard of pain digging itself deeper and deeper
into your heart and psyche.
She is who she is.
Give her to God and step back.
She has the right to choose her own company, God or the Devil.
Same as you, dear friend. . .
I know you must get tired of me saying this, but it is true.
The other 20% you can fix with time and healing.
Until she dies or you find a way to step back emotionally,
you have a festering shard of pain digging itself deeper and deeper
into your heart and psyche.
She is who she is.
Give her to God and step back.
She has the right to choose her own company, God or the Devil.
Same as you, dear friend. . .
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
Your toxic mother is 80% of your problem AO, as mine was.
I know you must get tired of me saying this, but it is true.
The other 20% you can fix with time and healing.
Until she dies or you find a way to step back emotionally,
you have a festering shard of pain digging itself deeper and deeper
into your heart and psyche.
She is who she is.
Give her to God and step back.
She has the right to choose her own company, God or the Devil.
Same as you, dear friend. . .
I know you must get tired of me saying this, but it is true.
The other 20% you can fix with time and healing.
Until she dies or you find a way to step back emotionally,
you have a festering shard of pain digging itself deeper and deeper
into your heart and psyche.
She is who she is.
Give her to God and step back.
She has the right to choose her own company, God or the Devil.
Same as you, dear friend. . .
I NEVER tire of your wisdom and experience and I'm so grateful for both. 
I have been stepping back - wayyyyyyy back - over the last year. But specifically since December. I even went 2 months (over the holidays mind you) with just about zero contact. I know it scared her.
But clearly not the "hell" out of her. Yuk yuk.
I have given her the pleasure of my company for the last 3 Sundays for no more than 2 hours per visit. And now she will be placed on yet another time out.
You are so right. She has the same free will as we all do. One would think she'd of learn by now, but hell, look who is talking.
How many more hangovers do I have to ascribe her name to before I declare emancipation from her tethers ?
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
The Grande Tour
AAAAAAAOOOOOOOO?!?!?!? Sir, yes,sir ! I salute St. Peter Sargent Earth Recruiter. He’s a cross between Louis Gossett Jr. and Robin Williams.
We need some help down there. Are you willing to go fight the fight of your lifetime Private AO?!?!
Yes sir !! Of course Sir !! Anything for the cause Sir !!!
We are considering you for “The Grande Tour” private.
Oooooooooo. The GRANDE T O U R ?!?? I said like a child on Santa’s lap reading her list.
Oh my goodness that’s sounds like soooooo much fun !!!! I bet all the hotels will be five star and the flights will be private !!! and the foooooooddddd !! Omg, I get to eat again !!! I love food. Especially Indian. Can you make sure I get to go to India ? And Italy. I rally like pasta. An I wants lots of kids. And and really good mom and dad. You know the kind that love you all the time and just make your life better. And I want a big family. Tons of brothers and sisters that you cuddle with when you are scared and protect you and you get to play with while growing up. And I want a lots of dogs and cats. And lots and lots of friends because I don’t want to be lonely. I hate being lonely. So give me lots of People’s to love me ok ? And I want freedom. I want to be able to just hop in those car thingys that everybody seems to have this century and just drive. And drive and drive and drive and drive. Ahhhhhhh wind in my hair freedom. Thank you St Peter !! I’m so excited, when do I get to leave ? I wanna go now. Please hurry.
Ahem. Just settle down there Private. This tour ain’t no five star assignment.
Oh. Oh. Oh ok. So no jet and nice travel? That’s ok. Maybe next lifetime. But I still get all the People’s right.
No.
The mom and dad ? He shakes his head. No.
The brothers and sisters ?
Well, just one. She will be much older. But her time there isn’t long. And she will come back here after just a few decades. But you will have beautiful memories of her holding you in the night when you were scared. And after she comes back home, she will never leave your side while you finish your mission.
Oh. Oh dear. Ummmm, ok ?
Ok I’m still down because I’ll get lots of children to love.
Nope. Just one.
One. One ? Why just one.
You have a lot to accomplish.
Ok. Ok.
I’ll still have my freedom right ? I mean The driving ? That’s not a big deal Peter.
NO AO. But that will be a gift for you. In strange wrapping.
DAMN IT.
Ok.
BUT, If you pull the eating thing, St Peter, that’s a deal breaker.
Haha, yes. He smiles. Yes,. You can eat AO.
Hmmmmmm. Alright.
Where do I sign up ?
AO, we call this The Grande Tour, not because it’s posh or cushy. It’s because your soul will experience things on this trip around that we can’t offer you up here. You will face the worst of life’s experiences on this excursion. Death, you will know far sooner than most down there. Disease, you will become intimate with . You will know a level of emotional pain so deep and abrasive that you won’t know where to turn to or how to survive.
A veil will be place over your eyes and heart and memory, that will make you entirely blind to who and what you truly are.
You will remember none of this. It will be full on celestial amnesia. You won’t ever see God with your eyes, but I promise, if you still yourself, you will FEEL him. You will feel Us.
And when it gets to the point that you start to drown, reach up your hand, ask for help, and I promise you, you will be rescued.
Im shaking my head no the entire time he’s talking.
Ummmm. No. I don’t wanna.
I think you actually might AO. I know it sounds scary, but you have to remember one single thing. Even in your most desperate of moments, and you will have constant perpetual assisteance. But you won’t acruallt SEE it. You will just know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You have a legion of angels surrounding you all the time. They will be assigned to you like emotional butlers and spirit guardians. They will be there for your every angst and they will hold you up and carry you forward when you become too weak to do so yourself.
No. I don’t wanna.
Come now, AO. We need you down there. Evil is swallowing up souls whole!!
Satan has this thing called “Ego” that is his biggest soul stealer. Apparently, everyone down there thinking they are better everyone else. They forgot who the Boss is. And they are really mean to each other. Like, REALLY REALLY MEAN. Some women walk around with $10,000.00 purses !!! While other women can’t even afford to feed their children. Men will rob other men for their shoes. Their SHOES. There are wars, and famine, and backstabbing and murder, and greed and corruption the likes you have never witnessed.
And then, there’s the government. Ugh. Just ugh.
That’s a whole **** show for another day.
No. I don’t wanna.
AO, listen to me. When Lucifer got ejected because he got too big for his britches and the Boss fired him, one third of the souls up here left with him. They are all down there recruiting for the dark side. We gotta get down there and assist !!
And AO, they are #winning.
I’m tired. I don’t wanna.
Wait - Why am I tired all of a sudden ? You don’t get tired up here ! And I’m - wait - what is this feeling?
Oh my Jesus Holy Christ I’m SCARED !! I remember this feeling now. I hate that feeling !!
NO I’m NOT Going. No St. Peter. Just no, no no no no NO.
Hold on, AO.
A new “feeling” starts to surface.
I’m holding my daughter for the first time.
Tears and joy and love, inconceivable love, is pouring out of me with my tears.
Yes, AO, YOU WILL FEEL THAT TOO. You will feel happiness.
And more than most because you will have felt the darkest of days.
And you survived.
Then, when it’s all over, you come back here, we have a huge Welcome Home party and we sit over coffee and plan your next mission.
Not so bad right ?
Fine. Alright. I’ll go. But I don’t gotta be happy about it.
No. You don’t. But you would be better served if you tried to be.
Life is a cabaret, AO.
And it isn’t that long of a ride.
Fine.
But there had BETTER be a dog involved.
And Chicken Tikka.
AAAAAAAOOOOOOOO?!?!?!? Sir, yes,sir ! I salute St. Peter Sargent Earth Recruiter. He’s a cross between Louis Gossett Jr. and Robin Williams.
We need some help down there. Are you willing to go fight the fight of your lifetime Private AO?!?!
Yes sir !! Of course Sir !! Anything for the cause Sir !!!
We are considering you for “The Grande Tour” private.
Oooooooooo. The GRANDE T O U R ?!?? I said like a child on Santa’s lap reading her list.
Oh my goodness that’s sounds like soooooo much fun !!!! I bet all the hotels will be five star and the flights will be private !!! and the foooooooddddd !! Omg, I get to eat again !!! I love food. Especially Indian. Can you make sure I get to go to India ? And Italy. I rally like pasta. An I wants lots of kids. And and really good mom and dad. You know the kind that love you all the time and just make your life better. And I want a big family. Tons of brothers and sisters that you cuddle with when you are scared and protect you and you get to play with while growing up. And I want a lots of dogs and cats. And lots and lots of friends because I don’t want to be lonely. I hate being lonely. So give me lots of People’s to love me ok ? And I want freedom. I want to be able to just hop in those car thingys that everybody seems to have this century and just drive. And drive and drive and drive and drive. Ahhhhhhh wind in my hair freedom. Thank you St Peter !! I’m so excited, when do I get to leave ? I wanna go now. Please hurry.
Ahem. Just settle down there Private. This tour ain’t no five star assignment.
Oh. Oh. Oh ok. So no jet and nice travel? That’s ok. Maybe next lifetime. But I still get all the People’s right.
No.
The mom and dad ? He shakes his head. No.
The brothers and sisters ?
Well, just one. She will be much older. But her time there isn’t long. And she will come back here after just a few decades. But you will have beautiful memories of her holding you in the night when you were scared. And after she comes back home, she will never leave your side while you finish your mission.
Oh. Oh dear. Ummmm, ok ?
Ok I’m still down because I’ll get lots of children to love.
Nope. Just one.
One. One ? Why just one.
You have a lot to accomplish.
Ok. Ok.
I’ll still have my freedom right ? I mean The driving ? That’s not a big deal Peter.
NO AO. But that will be a gift for you. In strange wrapping.
DAMN IT.
Ok.
BUT, If you pull the eating thing, St Peter, that’s a deal breaker.
Haha, yes. He smiles. Yes,. You can eat AO.
Hmmmmmm. Alright.
Where do I sign up ?
AO, we call this The Grande Tour, not because it’s posh or cushy. It’s because your soul will experience things on this trip around that we can’t offer you up here. You will face the worst of life’s experiences on this excursion. Death, you will know far sooner than most down there. Disease, you will become intimate with . You will know a level of emotional pain so deep and abrasive that you won’t know where to turn to or how to survive.
A veil will be place over your eyes and heart and memory, that will make you entirely blind to who and what you truly are.
You will remember none of this. It will be full on celestial amnesia. You won’t ever see God with your eyes, but I promise, if you still yourself, you will FEEL him. You will feel Us.
And when it gets to the point that you start to drown, reach up your hand, ask for help, and I promise you, you will be rescued.
Im shaking my head no the entire time he’s talking.
Ummmm. No. I don’t wanna.
I think you actually might AO. I know it sounds scary, but you have to remember one single thing. Even in your most desperate of moments, and you will have constant perpetual assisteance. But you won’t acruallt SEE it. You will just know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You have a legion of angels surrounding you all the time. They will be assigned to you like emotional butlers and spirit guardians. They will be there for your every angst and they will hold you up and carry you forward when you become too weak to do so yourself.
No. I don’t wanna.
Come now, AO. We need you down there. Evil is swallowing up souls whole!!
Satan has this thing called “Ego” that is his biggest soul stealer. Apparently, everyone down there thinking they are better everyone else. They forgot who the Boss is. And they are really mean to each other. Like, REALLY REALLY MEAN. Some women walk around with $10,000.00 purses !!! While other women can’t even afford to feed their children. Men will rob other men for their shoes. Their SHOES. There are wars, and famine, and backstabbing and murder, and greed and corruption the likes you have never witnessed.
And then, there’s the government. Ugh. Just ugh.
That’s a whole **** show for another day.
No. I don’t wanna.
AO, listen to me. When Lucifer got ejected because he got too big for his britches and the Boss fired him, one third of the souls up here left with him. They are all down there recruiting for the dark side. We gotta get down there and assist !!
And AO, they are #winning.
I’m tired. I don’t wanna.
Wait - Why am I tired all of a sudden ? You don’t get tired up here ! And I’m - wait - what is this feeling?
Oh my Jesus Holy Christ I’m SCARED !! I remember this feeling now. I hate that feeling !!
NO I’m NOT Going. No St. Peter. Just no, no no no no NO.
Hold on, AO.
A new “feeling” starts to surface.
I’m holding my daughter for the first time.
Tears and joy and love, inconceivable love, is pouring out of me with my tears.
Yes, AO, YOU WILL FEEL THAT TOO. You will feel happiness.
And more than most because you will have felt the darkest of days.
And you survived.
Then, when it’s all over, you come back here, we have a huge Welcome Home party and we sit over coffee and plan your next mission.
Not so bad right ?
Fine. Alright. I’ll go. But I don’t gotta be happy about it.
No. You don’t. But you would be better served if you tried to be.
Life is a cabaret, AO.
And it isn’t that long of a ride.
Fine.
But there had BETTER be a dog involved.
And Chicken Tikka.
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