Famous Day ******* 3 ... AGAIN!
 

This time I'm determined!

Went for a bike ride today, miss my rides. Took my pooch around the block for a sniff first, then went to see Iris, my beautiful weeping willow by the creek, I used to ride the creek path a lot in winter when I was straight and would always stop underneath her to meditate and clean up any debris or rubbish I found. I haven't seen her since when I fell off the wagon due to my ex breaching his court order. Iris was bare then.

It's now autumn here, yet she was still full of lush green leaves when the other trees were yellowing and shedding theirs! Almost like she was waiting for me to see her fully dressed. She was beautiful!

I sat in the crevice in her massive trunk and meditated to the water, the birds, the water rushes swishing against each other and at one point felt something against my cheek - let me tell you a new pair of underwear were almost in order! Upon opening my eyes, it was only one of Iris's long branches touching my face! I almost cried! It was like she was saying it's ok, i missed you! Please come back?

Yes, Iris I will - tomorrow!

Sounds like a good day :)

D

Day three has always been the first hurdle for many of us. It is possible. Be here, post, and find a way to give something to others. Those helped me make it over the day 3 challenge.
Stay strong.

What a peaceful way to meditate.

Ren,

To me...your post reads like a cry for help. I loved it. It is ok to hurt.

I hurt too.

For me....I say the same thing all the time sometimes.

Booze has damaged my brain. Some parts of my brain that were designed to give me happiness have died. They are gone forever.

My miraculous brain has rewired and I am beginning to find natural happiness again. I work out 4 to 7 days a week. Been doing that since before I quit drinking. I get all the benefits.

3 days clean for me was like a fish out of water. I was gasping for life. I suffered horribly for months. I had agoraphobic issues followed by ptsd.

The suffering hardened me. I learned to live without booze.

Wanting to quit is half the battle won for me. The rest is education and suffering.

I know a relapse will destroy my new life. I will change from the success statistic to the failure one.

Not happening! I will fight for my life.

Drinking was a learned behavior. I have unlearned it.

Hope this helps you.

Thanks.

Ren,

I tried to add to the post to clarify something, I was too late so 2 posts.

The booze had poisoned me and damaged my brain. But, booze was like medicine. It was a death spiral. The only way out, drug free, was to suffer.

That is all.

Thanks.