3 Week Eve
 

Tomorrow will be three weeks. Thought I'd check in quick.

Let's just say it's been an intense pace since the accident three weeks ago. For those that don't know what I'm talking about you can check out the OWI post a few pages back. I'll resurrect it in time. I like to think it will be helpful for peeps - either by seeing that there is hope or by discouraging people getting to where I got.

Home from out west last night. Up today and crossed a major hurdle - I am once again a car owner. God keeps delivering at just the right time. I simply didn't have the time or energy to figure out how I was going to make it back to the DMV and the mechanic that is 1 hour 15 minutes from my office. So I put it on faith. I dropped the company vehicle I've been using off at the office. Called 2 taxi places with no luck. Called a rental car company and bingo - rented a car for 1/2 the price a taxi would have cost me and the drop off was right next door to my mechanic. So I hit the office, hit the DMV, dropped off the rental and picked up my ride.

It's nice to have that freedom again - I mostly managed to honor my company's policy of using their auto for work purposes only. I did hit a grocery store once or twice.

So, I've been able to pay off the temp help I received to get a lawyer and get my wheels rolling again - and return the favor from my company to lend me a vehicle. Feels good to payback my obligations in short order - good for my self esteem for sure.

Last night when I landed in Chicago the pace I've been keeping caught up to me. I broke down. I managed to keep it together while getting off the plane and getting through the airport. Once I was alone in the parking garage a lot of emotion poured out. It was a mix - guilt, frustration, a touch of anger, sadness. For a few minutes I was a mess.

I'm not surprised. The pace I've been on I've known isn't sustainable. And I was over-saturated with people, materialism, etc etc etc.

In the last three weeks I've gone from facing legal issues alone to figuring out how to get back and forth to work to trips to both coasts to managing my existing workload close to home to preparing my house for sale to securing a lawyer. All of the steps have been complicated by limitations on travel, money, relationships. It's been a blur. And there's no way I could have gotten through it without the help and support of my inner circle and God. Every single time I needed something -small or big - I received it. Many times I didn't even know what I needed and what I received was better than I could have thought - small and big.

No trips on the books until mid-April. Will give me some much needed time to catch my breath and turn my attention to the next major hurdle - selling my house. I have a new and clear plan. A better plan. I'll be in my new place - where-ever that will be - by May 1st. That's the goal. I should also be able to start taking care of my health a bit more.

Fantastic conversation with my best friend earlier. My spirits are good. I'm at peace mostly. There will be moments for sure but I kind of welcome them. I own this whole thing and my life is much fuller now than it was. I know it's cliche but I'm very much alive and awake and I'm grateful for it.

Tomorrow is 3 weeks. Thank you SR peeps for sometimes reading at least parts of my text walls :P and for not making me do this alone. And thanks for providing a place that I can unload. I am in this for the long haul.

-B

Thank you for sharing your progress. It is helpful for me to read on my Day 6.

And me!

B,

Reading your post motivates me, to work out a plan, stick to it, and get stuff done. Good to see you're doing well.

Congrats on three weeks sober! :) Keep going, it gets better. :hug:

This has been essential for me. 2-4 things go on my "must do" list. Funny how after a week a lot can get done by just doing a little each day.

As long as I mostly get the 2-4 things done I refuse to beat myself up about anything else. It's helped greatly with anxiety & fear & stuff.

'grats on 3 weeks Buckley :)

D

Congratulations Buckley - we're close to the same sobriety date. You're an inspiration to me. I've been fortunate to have time, space and support to be gentle with myself in these early days, especially since I'm on leave from work. You've been dealing with so many things at the same time as rocking your sobriety, I really admire you. Keep it up!

Congratulations Buckley. You are an inspiration to me in getting stuff done. I have become lethargic. I think I will also make a list and get a couple of things done per day. You're doing great! Hang in there.