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Old 03-15-2018, 06:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
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New here, already blew it for tonight :(


I was sober for nearly a month and had some family issues and used them as an excuse to drink. Now I've just been trying to dig myself back out. I was SO happy sober! Last time was easier to quit, I think it was my mind state. Now it's a daily battle at 5 o clock where I feel completely and utterly out of control. I've been begging God to help me stop again and I know He will help me pull through yet again. Hoping this place will be of some help. Reading through the forums has been helpful already. Today was my day 2 again but I already ordered some wine so there's no turning back now. I hate myself right now.
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Old 03-15-2018, 06:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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welcome to SR Melly....You don't have to drink what you ordered. Tomorrow can be day three and you will feel good tomorrow! I have been there...I have had several day 1's. Don't give up!
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Old 03-15-2018, 06:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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So Its Not Easy

A horse only finishes a race by completing the hurdles. You started the race - dont beat yourself up. Youre on here - a positive move. Theres loads of help around so when youre ready to ask I know you will. It took me nigh on 40 years - I dont suggest you wait that long of course.
Try and plan a positive move for tomorrow and get through tonight best you can.
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Old 03-15-2018, 06:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Melly - I'm so glad you found us. There is much help & encouragement to be had here. We know what you're going through, like no one else can.

I hope posting & reading here will help you finally have the sober & sane life you are longing for. We know you can do it.
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Old 03-15-2018, 06:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks guys I really didn't expect replies so fast. Every day is a new day and I'm hoping this forum will be one of many new positive choices I make on the road to sobriety. AA isn't my thing but I don't have friends or family around so I need support and I know that
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Old 03-15-2018, 07:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Just because you ordered wine, doesn't mean you have to drink it. Cancel the order or refuse it. Or give the wine to someone else. Or pour it down the sink. Anything but drinking it.

There's lots of support here so take advantage of it to get sober for good.
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Old 03-15-2018, 07:34 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Mell,

When i had my 2 shots in nearly 3 years, i definitely felt a careless wave pass through me. It was an evil presence.

I listed them in my signature so i could live in truth to thine self.

Great job on telling on yourself.

When i crave i don't call myself names except one....addict.

That name is for life.

I, like everyone here, has brain damage that makes us want to drink too much to often.

We are not alone.

Thanks.
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When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system comprimise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 03-15-2018, 08:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
already ordered some wine so there's no turning back now.
There is always the chance to make a new decision and choose not to go down that well travelled path of drinking Melly.
In my early days here on SR, I bought a bottle of booze.
I threw it out in the journey from the liquor store back home,

we can always write a better ending for our story

Glad you've joined us

D
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Old 03-15-2018, 08:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Its so odd how we can go from being so confident after days of sobriety only to be back on our knees in desperation after taking that first drink. Been there done that.
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Old 03-15-2018, 08:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Like Dee said; in my early days I'd stop and buy some stuff and toss it out on the way home. I once bought a bottle and after I paid for it realized what I was doing/going to do and gave it to a homeless person on my way home. Just because you bought it doesn't mean you must drink it. Consider it a lost $$ lesson. Welcome btw.
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Old 03-15-2018, 10:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Yeah, don't give up, even if today was a wash. Tomorrow? Since I continue on my path of sobriety via using the AA Big Book and Program, I naturally recommend it to others. I couldn't put that Addiction down without support. Start out in the morning with resolve....NO more than 1 bottle of Cab tonight Bobbi! By 2-3 in the afternoon I was up at the liquor store getting my reserves. What a nightmare of shame & regret...ugh...
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Old 03-15-2018, 10:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Welcome Melly,

I'm in agreement of refusing the wine, tomorrow can be your day three.
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It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
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Sobriety Date: January 1, 2016
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Old 03-16-2018, 07:06 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Thank you for all the encouragement, but once I get that far its pretty much impossible for me to go back. If there's alcohol in the house I'll drink it. But I am starting fresh today and am trying to make new habits. I worked out tonight and I feel ready to try again. Thank you for all the stories, hearing from you guys helps so so much! I hate everything about alcohol and I'm done done done
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Old 03-16-2018, 07:08 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Oh and to reply to freedomca.. Couldn't have said it better! I was so confident even cocky in my sobriety. Guess that's what I get for being prideful. Knocked me right down to where I was. But every day is a fresh start for sure
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Old 03-16-2018, 10:46 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Good to see you back Melly! Come here often, there is always a friend online to listen and to offer support. You might have helped someone out today who is struggling.
Bobbi
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