Day 1 here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 25
Day 1 here
Day 1 for me after two recent attempts. Made it 5 days last week before binging for the weekend and then made it 3 days before failing again last night.
I’m a binge drinker. My tolerance is high so the amount I’m drinking to feel anything now is wrecking my body. It’s so contradictory to everything else about me. Avid gym goer and try to watch what I eat and track my calories and macros except for... alcohol.. amazing how that works.
Anyway, I’m very new to this site. Just kind of stumbled across it because I’ve been dealing with a red face for about a week and was browsing google trying to diagnose myself.
Started drinking 5 years ago. Quitting today
I’m a binge drinker. My tolerance is high so the amount I’m drinking to feel anything now is wrecking my body. It’s so contradictory to everything else about me. Avid gym goer and try to watch what I eat and track my calories and macros except for... alcohol.. amazing how that works.
Anyway, I’m very new to this site. Just kind of stumbled across it because I’ve been dealing with a red face for about a week and was browsing google trying to diagnose myself.
Started drinking 5 years ago. Quitting today
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
Welcome and I'm glad you're here.
You will find lots of support here. I hope you can come up with a plan to get you past the 3 day and 5 day mark. The 3 day point was hard for me, too, because I began to feel better at that point.
The following link has information on various Recovery Programs and lots of tips from our members:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
You will find lots of support here. I hope you can come up with a plan to get you past the 3 day and 5 day mark. The 3 day point was hard for me, too, because I began to feel better at that point.
The following link has information on various Recovery Programs and lots of tips from our members:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Welcoem aboard Scout. You'll find this community very supportive.
Glad you found us too. Post regularly - daily or more. I found that helped me get beyond 3 days and into permanent recovery
D
Glad you found us too. Post regularly - daily or more. I found that helped me get beyond 3 days and into permanent recovery
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Hey... awesome you are stepping up and recognizing some stuff.
As a former binger myself I’d share that I’ve come to recognize that while the time period of the vicious cycle may vary greatly from person to person the pattern is pretty much the same:
Drink —> problems —> damage control —> drink
The degree of severity of that cycle may vary, but over time it progressively trends downward, becoming more and more impossible to manage until it kills you. And I’m not being over dramatic. For those of us that are alcoholics it will kill us. For some it may take 40 years, others far less. But again, the basic pattern is the same.
I can not know if you are alcoholic or a hard drinker or what. But your orig. post definitely checks some boxes and you are wise to acknowledge it and educate yourself.
I hope you find what you need here.
Best
-B
As a former binger myself I’d share that I’ve come to recognize that while the time period of the vicious cycle may vary greatly from person to person the pattern is pretty much the same:
Drink —> problems —> damage control —> drink
The degree of severity of that cycle may vary, but over time it progressively trends downward, becoming more and more impossible to manage until it kills you. And I’m not being over dramatic. For those of us that are alcoholics it will kill us. For some it may take 40 years, others far less. But again, the basic pattern is the same.
I can not know if you are alcoholic or a hard drinker or what. But your orig. post definitely checks some boxes and you are wise to acknowledge it and educate yourself.
I hope you find what you need here.
Best
-B
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Originally Posted by Scout17 
Thanks! Are there any threads or groups that you recommend joining?
The 24 hour recovery connections thread in Daily Support and the class of March support thread in Newcomers. https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-360-a.html (24Hour Recovery Connections Part 360)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Class Of March 2018 Support Thread - Part One)
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Scout,
I vote that wanting to quit is half the battle won.
The rest is education, suffering and time.
We addicts will crave for the rest of our lives. This is suffering.
Our brains have been permanently damaged by the booze. This is all about the lack of dopemin production and brain rewiring.
It takes years of clean time to fully heal. Relapsing resets the process. More suffering.
It gets discouraging for folks and they give up.
AA is great for f2f interaction and strong accounting.
I use SR for accounting. Obviously, nobody really knows me here. I like the annomitity.
Even in AA, nobody really knows if you relapse unless they see you drunk in meetings or something worse.
Folks are actually forced to go to AA sometimes. I saw a few at the meetings I attended.
Hope this helps you.
Thanks.
I vote that wanting to quit is half the battle won.
The rest is education, suffering and time.
We addicts will crave for the rest of our lives. This is suffering.
Our brains have been permanently damaged by the booze. This is all about the lack of dopemin production and brain rewiring.
It takes years of clean time to fully heal. Relapsing resets the process. More suffering.
It gets discouraging for folks and they give up.
AA is great for f2f interaction and strong accounting.
I use SR for accounting. Obviously, nobody really knows me here. I like the annomitity.
Even in AA, nobody really knows if you relapse unless they see you drunk in meetings or something worse.
Folks are actually forced to go to AA sometimes. I saw a few at the meetings I attended.
Hope this helps you.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome to the SR family Scout! The first week is the hardest. Continuing after you start to feel better is a challenge. You already know where the drink again path leads. Play the tape forward when you start to feel the urge and post on SR for help before you drink. Someone will be here to help you. Stay strong. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 6
I'm at day 1 again too. I thought I could have one glass of wine out to dinner last week and it resulted in a 6 day drinking binge of 2+ bottles of wine a day. I hate this vicious cycle. I am learning now that I can't just have one because it turns into 10.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 25
Thanks everyone. No I haven’t done AA yet though it is something I have considered. I know when and where they meet now, so I may look into that more. The issue is that my partner doesn’t know the true extent of my drinking.
I’ve tried to come clean a few times and basically it just ends with a few days clean and then an excuse to buy a six pack or more again with little to no questioning because my significant other doesn’t get addiction and thinks I have it under control. But I don’t and I’ve finally admitted that to myself and I need to admit it to her.
The biggest lie I tell myself is that I can be a normal person and enjoy moderately. That might be true for one night and usually not but it always leads me back to weeks on end of binge drinking and waking up promising I won’t do it again only to buy more later that afternoon.
It’s a drain on my health and my bank account. But don’t worry, my brain will have probably rationalized a reason to drink by tonight but I’ll be here to post instead because I made a promise to myself and this board for 24 hrs and I’ll do my best to make that same pledge again.
I’ve tried to come clean a few times and basically it just ends with a few days clean and then an excuse to buy a six pack or more again with little to no questioning because my significant other doesn’t get addiction and thinks I have it under control. But I don’t and I’ve finally admitted that to myself and I need to admit it to her.
The biggest lie I tell myself is that I can be a normal person and enjoy moderately. That might be true for one night and usually not but it always leads me back to weeks on end of binge drinking and waking up promising I won’t do it again only to buy more later that afternoon.
It’s a drain on my health and my bank account. But don’t worry, my brain will have probably rationalized a reason to drink by tonight but I’ll be here to post instead because I made a promise to myself and this board for 24 hrs and I’ll do my best to make that same pledge again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Setting the Correct Timezone
If you need to, you can set your own timezone in 'User CP' (on a PC it's top left hand corner of the big grey toolbar that runs across the top of every page)
click 'User CP'...go into 'Edit Options' and scroll down to the 'Time and Date' section.
Find & select your timezone - and don't forget to hit the 'save changes' button.
D
If you need to, you can set your own timezone in 'User CP' (on a PC it's top left hand corner of the big grey toolbar that runs across the top of every page)
click 'User CP'...go into 'Edit Options' and scroll down to the 'Time and Date' section.
Find & select your timezone - and don't forget to hit the 'save changes' button.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 25
Day 3 now.. feeling better right now.. wife going out of town tonight which in the past was always an excuse to drink as much as I wanted.. Not doing that today.. Going to hit the gym and focus on my recovery
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 121
HI Scout, so much of what you say sounds familiar! In one sense it’s great if your partner is not also an addict as you won’t, in theory, be enabling each other... but yes, then she doesn’t quite understand the addiction or perhaps clock how bad your drinking is (my partner is a non-drinker so I think he was naive to how much I was really drinking). Stay strong-you’ve made the right move by joining SR and the fact you WANT to quit is the important first step... stay strong! You may want to check out SMART Recovery as well. And keep posting! It got me past that five day mark which was also my personal barrier! You can do this!
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