BumpBailey

Hi. I'm a struggling, devoted family guy who's marriage is hanging on by a thread. Two young girls who are everything to me, and a wife who is at her breaking point.

-I've struggled with alcohol since childhood.
-It's throughout my family treat.
-It's the the cause or a major contributor to most everything that's gone wrong in my life, yet I still drink.

I'm a functional alcoholic. I have a great work ethic and track record. I just hide it

I try really hard to be a great father. My girls are happy, and have never been hit, abused, harmed, or mistreated and its because of this I know I need to stop drinking. Had an 'ah ha' moment this morning and I'm here.

I don't want to ever drink again, though I've said that before. My children are young. Now's the time. Getting hard to keep this secret from them.

I have a major neck issue that causes constant pain, need surgery, but we're selling and buying a new house and there's lots of projects and packing, so I have to wait until this is over. Been drinking when everyone goes to bed to help me sleep. Used to be a few, but now its more. It's just time. I'm in a really bad place. Not like 'danger to self or others' Just embarrassed and down.

Thank you for having me. Sorry I rambled.

lessgravity

Not much of a ramble there BB. Welcome to this site. There is much wisdom and guidance here.

I'm a relative newbie myself - 40yo, remarried to a wonderful woman, professional, great kid - and yet my alcohol abuse has brought me here. Luckily not all the way to my knees. Yet.

Do you have a plan?

Nowsthetime

Welcome!!! Check out my name!!!

This place can change your life if you take the time, educate yourself, make a plan and work it.

Welcome to the family and I hope to see you around.

BumpBailey

Thank you. I have been sober for as much as three years. Been literally drinking from 10p-1am so my daughter doesn't ever see me drunk and I have enough time to sober up before work in the mornong.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Mklove

You are wise to recognize the problems of pounding drinks now, as you get older it gets lonelier and harder to mask physically, financially etc. I try not to have regrets but it would have been wise of me to have stopped years before I did. You sound like you want to save your money, marriage, health. It is definitely helpful here.

ChloeRose63

Time to get serious about your recovery. Have you gotten rid of all the alcohol in the house? Nothing changes if nothing changes!

Hevyn

Welcome, Bump - this is a great place for encouragement from those who really understand.

I drank 30 yrs. It had once been fun and relaxing - a way to calm down & not be anxious. Then it turned on me. It was taking more & more alcohol to achieve the same result - of numbness. It was causing my personality to change - people were confused & hurt by my behavior. I didn't stop when I saw the warning signs & ended up with a ruined life. I'm glad you're taking action. You can do this.

chowchow

Nice to meet you. Your story could me mine but I am the wife. Looking back I can see how crazy my world was even though my job was going great and I looked ok. But I was hiding bottles of wine and wrapping them up so no one would see. More than that.

I can relate too because I just had major neck fusion surgery and I know the ordeal of neck problems, especially if they radiate into your arms and back. That was my 8th spinal surgery.

I don't have a lot of sober time yet. Maybe 6 weeks? But I like to take it by day and be done with it. Alcohol never did me a bit of good and the hole was getting deeper. I don't want my daughter to grow up with a drunk of a mother. I want far more for her than that.

This place is a huge part of my support network. I hope it helps you too.

Zebra1275

Welcome!

Dee74

Welcome BumpBailey

I'm sorry about your chronic pain but, as you'd already know alcohol offers at best a short term respite...if you keep self medicating you'll need to drink more and more to get the same effect and eventually you may find it ceases to work at all.

I see you have a lot on but a pain free life is pretty important too.

I also know doctors are expensive but if you added up what you spend on booze I'd be surprised if its not near the cost of seeing a Dr etc?

D

Jess1998

You are a really good father, let me tell you that. I'm trying to get sober right now (6 days) and grew up with an alcoholic mom. She's still an alcoholic and after years of trying to get her to quit, I've given up. If my mom tried to quit like you are trying right now I would be so proud of her. Welcome to SR! There is lots of awesome people and tons of support. It's a great community Bailey