Soberween

So what? If your cross to bear in life is that you can't drink alcohol then so be it. I had two friends that passed away from cancer in their 40s and neither one of them said "why me?"

lessgravity

- mic drop -

Rar

People on this forum told me to hang on, to put in the work, stay sober no matter what, and things would get better. I couldn't see it. I couldn't see what they could see. All I knew was that my way hadn't worked and wasn't going to work. So I pushed the I Believe button and went for it.

This is ME! Thanks Non.

Rar

Initially upon his diagnosis, Stephen Hawking went through a period of depression. Ultimately he figured there was too much left to do and to learn.

tekink

right! For me if I'm not getting increasingly lit I actually feel like I'm sobering up. Can't have that.

No matter how bad the cravings get since I've abstained they are never as intense as the cravings that occur after that first drink.

Something in our brain breaks when we end up at this level.

lessgravity

Hmm.

Hawking suffered from ALS, one of the most brutal and horrifying things that can happen to a human being. Gradual paralysis. Inability to walk, have sex, enjoy food. Losing the ability to even speak.

I can't drink.

Maybe it's helpful for you to equate those two things. For me, it's not.

Zombie79

I think if anything- there's no such thing as 'normal'

I honestly don't know that many friends that just have 1 drink. Maybe only 1 if they are driving but in that case, most decide not to even have one if that's the case.
I have teetotal friends, I have friends that are weekend drinkers which some term binge drinkers.
I know of at least 2 or 3 friends you'd call functional alcoholics and one friend that is an alcoholic. He's had an intervention that cut him down a while back but now he's back to hitting it hard.
So in my mind, there's no normal.
I just know that I can't stop at one and it's not wise to even start drinking again. I think it comes down to acceptance. Even if I could stop at one drink, the way my mind world- why would I?

2muchpain

I think this poster has gotten the message that his or her life could be much worse than it is. Maybe it's time to give this person a little support. It's pretty obvious this person is struggling with drinking and probably much more. Let's remember guys, drinking kills. I'm sure people that deal with life threatening issues don't get any reassurance that their lives could be worse. It might help at first, but after that getting support and understanding makes all the difference. I think it's time to give this person a break and offer help. John

August252015

In the spirit of John's post - once I accepted I was a real alcoholic, I have tried to spend my energy "flipping" (as my husband and I call it) negative thoughts, fears, self-pity, anything that runs counter to a good life in recovery - into something I can learn, some way to handle what upsets me or disappoints me....anything positive. It works almost all of the time in short order- and sometimes it takes longer, but I get there.

I have to choose with what I have come to accept as my "peculiar gift" of alcoholism and be grateful for it- without it I would not have become the person who gives back to others, who tries to live without judgment or intrusion into others' plans and "lanes," as someone who chooses joy and hope....

Best to you.

JJ991

I think lots of people think, "why me?", I know I did in early recovery, I was pretty fed up about the whole thing and also angry with myself for letting it get so bad. It's ok to vent, it really is. Then it is a case of accepting it is what it is, that lead to a much calmer me, not angry anymore. I used alcohol counselling and therapy.
I also remind myself that I've never wanted to be "normal", I've always been a bit quirky! I tell my girls that everyone is different, we all like different things, otherwise life would be dull!
I'm at almost 6 months now, the days of "why me?" are long gone, they can be for you too.
Take care x

Dee74

I didn't think it was fair either - but I didn't want to die so I kept at it - not only not drinking but also looking for meaning and happiness sober.

Gradually I rediscovered the real me and I discovered a joy in life and a serenity that nothing can shift.

Now I'm grateful I stopped drinking. Everything I've been through - good and bad - has bought me here, and 'here' is pretty terrific

I read the same messages as suggesting perspective and attitude are important.
Thats certainly been the case for me.

D