Purplrks3647

(((GMS))) Hugs!

Gilmer

I am praying for you, GMS!

I hope your activities today are engaging and distracting enough to get your mind off of self-harm.

ulfr

managed to make it to a meeting last night it was helpful ended up getting to bed around 11pm just woke up i feel shakey took my meds late last night just about to get my meds now am about to go out soon am hoping i make a meeting tonight i got another one on Saturday if i can make its a cross town next one after that is Monday

ulfr

went to a meeting this morning with a friend then went out for a coffee with her and a trans women who i met at the meeting on Monday nice natter am home now kinda bored unsure what else i should do today its only 3 .30 ish unsure what to do ( too much time on my hands )

SoberLeigh

Glad you made it to a meeting, GMS, and that you had a nice lunch with friends.

Do you have a good book to read?

Anna

Do you like reading GMS? If so, you will never be bored.

I'm glad you're out meeting people and taking care of yourself.

ulfr

managed to get to a few meetings over the last two days also got my hair cut into a guys cut so i look more male
got a really sore head this morning so does my husband have a sore head too unsure why

Gilmer

Maybe it’s a virus. Hope you guys feel better soon!

Hawkeye13

Glad you are hanging in there GMS--I bet your haircut looks terrific on you
Feel better soon

ulfr

my voices are making things hard for me telling me i need to go back to the start again and drink am at a group at the moment but going to an AA meeting soon
the voices are loud i feel like i have no control feel i cant stop myself thankfully i have a friend who goes to AA and my husband coming with me

SoberLeigh

Going to an AA meeting is a good plan, GMS.

Drinking is never good for us; listen to your husband and to us. We truly care about you, GMS.

Gilmer

I’m glad you’ve got solid support today.

ulfr

Its 6.42 am voices been bothering me all night telling me to drink the only thing am drinking at the moment is tea got money not that much just feel like buying a cheep bottle of cider and get pissed stupid huh am throwing every thing away what the hell is wrong with me i can have that one drink then leave it my voices are telling me go back to the start **** knows why they keep saying am a loser and drinking will help me and that am being boring by not drinking they say its i drink ill have fun - i cant deal with the voices no where open well at lest until 10. 30 am then the fun can start Voices are getting to me over and over making me do what ever they say I CANT HANDLE THIS ****

Dee74

Hi GMS

Sorry the AV is a little troublesome today - you know you can outlast it and do the right thing.

Drinkings not fun for people like us. You're not a loser either- losers don;t fight as hard as you do

Maybe today is a good day to do something with your husband, or speak to your pastor maybe?

Hopefully tomorrow will be better for you.

D

Gilmer

Have you talked to your doctor about the worsening voices?

ulfr

Went to an AA meeting this morning it was good and am having one tomorrow in the morning and then i have an appointment with my drug and alcohol support worker am struggling , want to take stuff feel it all the time want to take my credit card and buy a load of drink and drugs with it only problem with is getting it from my husband i just want to go on a bender

Gilmer

Those are just thoughts, GMS. Thoughts come and go: don’t take these bender notions seriously.

You’ve got a lot of sober time racked up, if I’m not mistaken.

Getting ensnared by substances again would make your life immeasurably worse.

Why not call someone from your meetings?

AnvilheadII

i just want to go on a bender
that won't help one dang thing.......sitting and dwelling won't either. what are some active positive steps you could take to get out of your own head?

Dee74

I'm glad you're seeking help GMS

D

ulfr

went to a meeting and it fixed my AV not listening to the bullcrap that is my voices and mind messing with me no way dont listen went to my meetings and then to see my support worker i feel a lot stronger for it . meditated when i came home thinking about a few things been trying to help other people when i should be looking after myself i got to be a little selfish sometimes i got to look at my head and put my sobriety first . thinking of getting a sponsor as soon unsure who to ask but i need to be accountable to someone and go over the steps with . am having a bit of a problem there are people that live up stairs from us we in a six block of flats i think they smoke weed in the hallway to the flat s the smell really bad ...my husband hates the smell i just try not to breath it in but its so strong its starting to become a problem...unsure what we can do we cant prove its up stairs thats doing it but it started just after they moved in ....
going to hang out with friends tonight with dinner and then relax a little my husband is asleep next to me at the moment so i better wake him up lol