I fear re-engaging with an old hobby due to being exposed to alcohol
 

When I was a teen, I loved audio production and deejaying. My dad is an audio engineer and he taught me a few things about sound when I was a kid. I've always had an intense love for music (frankly, I couldn't remain sober without it - I get so much pleasure from it). At family gatherings and teen parties I would be on the decks. Getting older, I preferred to dance and drink with the crowd as opposed to being behind the decks. I lost the passion for it - booze took over.

I have been sober for over a month. I feel so good and optimistic about my life. When I was drinking all the time, the alcohol corrupted my worldview. It made it seem like the only real pleasure and happiness I can get from life, is from the bottle. Now that I am sobering up, I can see that such a perception was just a huge lie. I'm reengaging with old hobbies again and loving it.

I've been listening to playlists I enjoyed playing when I was younger (can't tell you how wide of a smile that induces) and it has given me a desire to start deejaying again as a hobby. However, I'm afraid because doing so will expose me to alcohol (parties, etc). Of course when I first started deejaying, I didn't drink (was too young and had no desire for alcohol anyway - you can't crave what you don't know). But as a recovering alcoholic, I don't think such an environment would be conducive to my sobriety. I fear being around so much booze will lead to relapsing, but on the other hand, I would LOVE to pick up a hobby I used to do.

Since I'm only 45 days sober, I've been thinking perhaps I should postpone the prospect for a few months. I've got a lot going on in my life right now - matters that require me to be at my absolute best, and that means I have to be sober. So minimising any risks is relapsing is key.

I'd appreciate any advice.

I'd appreciate any advice.

i think ya gave the advise to yourself:
I should postpone the prospect for a few months. I've got a lot going on in my life right now - matters that require me to be at my absolute best,

I've also been thinking in a few months (granted I do not break this sober streak) my ability to resist alcohol will be stronger.

Tired,

Ime...when I was younger quitting was easier, but stayin quit was harder.

The brain damage hadn't set in so deep so the crave won after 8 months clean.

I had no mental reason to stay quit. So I relapsed for 20 more years.

I was a binger not a daily drinker. I hated building up a tolerance.

Quitting got harder and harder. The hellish hole was deeper and deeper.

I am still in the hole. I will never get out.

I, like everyone here, is an addict for life.

Once a pickle, never a cucumber.

I, like everyone here, am in a good place though, compared to active drinkers. I have awareness and conviction to not relapse.

I, leh, know relapse will lead to regret. Active addicts have the physical addiction plus the regret. They are still on the highway to hell.

I, leh, will not continue to poison my body and mind.

Thanks.

Just a random thought: I’m sure it would not be nearly as ‘cool’ as proper djing but could you find a club that does a youth night that is alcohol free...?

Thanks for such a lovely post. I actually needed that because in my earliest days of attempting to be sober, I part of me was truly convinced I "could be normal." Be like everyone else. One or two beers and that's it. I know that ain't gonna happen. I am who I am and have accepted. And reading your post just reinforced that notion.

I stayed out of live music performance for 18 months to really make sure I was solid in my recovery. I’m glad I did as I have loved performing live again ever since and being surrounded by alcohol and people under the influence doesn’t bother me at all. Providing I stay in fit spiritual condition then the drink problem is removed.

I like this idea a lot.

Congratulations on 45 days of sobriety and you sound like you are feeling good and have a positive attitude.

We have musicians here on SR who manage to play the music they love and remain sober. But, I fully agree with you that waiting a bit longer, until you feel more confident, is a good idea.

Music is a huge part of my recovery, too. :)

Music can be a trigger for me unfortunately. Especially live music. Alcohol heightens the experience for me. I went to see U2 and Red Hot Chili Peppers in concert last year. I was good and drunk during both shows. I am sure I had a great time but the next morning I only had some blurry videos on my phone and a t-shirt to remind me that I was even there.....

You know, in the beginning of my journey into being sober, I thought I couldn't handle music I heard in nightclubs, at concerts, at home drunk etc. However, for me, it's not a trigger. In fact it is kind of therapeutic - I get to appreciate it in its purest, non-adulterated form. And I get a lot of pleasure out of that.

My daughter(22) DJ's and she loves it as an outlet. I'm actually turning an extra bedroom into a studio soon. She was talking about moving out again since her new job is going well,so I'm kinda hoping the studio will keep her around a bit longer or at least she'll have a studio to come 'visit' if she does move out...It's a positive manipulation tactic? :lmao

Edit: Music helped me with sobriety and still does.

Haha aww so cute! I hope your daughter stays around a bit longer :) She sounds awesome, by the way :)

I think others have covered this topic pretty well. Only personal advice I would add is I wouldn't put a timetable on it. Everyone is different. You might be ready next month or you might be ready in a year.

Just wait until you feel completely confident and comfortable going sober. When you reach the point where your thoughts go from 'I wouldn't mind having a couple drinks at this event' to 'I know I am not going to drink at this DJ party no matter what. It doesn't really internet me.' You'll know you are ready.

I think the key is to always remember how as alcoholics these events are not more fun when we drink alcohol. It's pretty much the opposite. At first when we get a buzz it is but as alcoholics that is not what the end result will be. The rest of the time we will more than likely

-end up getting too trashed
-doing something stupid or that we regret
-losing control of what we say and do
- not remember half of the night

Acknowledging these facts always helps keep me sober when I go out to bars, clubs etc.

I was a musician - lost that career through drinking.

I went back to it sober - knowing I wanted to stay sober, and it's not been a problem..but I couldn't have done that right away.

I stayed away for about a year... and then a little longer before I did pub gigs again.

D

When you become a recovered alcoholic it won't be a problem, Alcohol will no longer have any say in what you do or where you go.

Something in your original post sparked a thought that has been on my mind today. Motive. A key thing in my continually returning to drink was to re experience the good times of the past that alcohol once brought. It was a delusion. I could never recapture that feeling. New and better things have come along as a recovered alcoholic. My whole perception of the world has changed.

Also..use your healing time and mix up some stuff. My daughter had her issues,as would be expected growing up with my lifestyle, and her 'music'(I don't care for,but respect it) has really helped her out. She'll hole up in her room and then hit me with 3 new mixes she's done..

So do I.

BB

Absolutely concur on the delusion part. Absolutely. Starting my journey into sobriety, I thought it impossible to have a good time without alcohol. But I realise that was all a lie. Justification to keep drinking.

Hi,

I resemble with you in some ways. I too like to play music and also create music. Im a guitarist, been in many bands, have gave couple hundreds live shows in my career.
My problems also started when I was young. Drinkinking during rehearsals, before and after shows. Over time it developed into every night drinking.

What I did was, I quit my drinking band. Formed a new band, with professionals. We treat our reversal and live time as a job. And a professional never drinks during job hours. We have a rule no drinking in reversals and before shows. If they decide to drink after I don't give a damn, I usually leave the venue after the gig.

My advice to you is, if you want to DJ, treat it professionally. Treat it like a job. Wheb you're set is done just leave.

Also, you could look into music production. There is tons to learn, and producing takes tons of time. Helps the get my mind off the booze for sure :)

Good luck!