comtnman740

I think when I first saw these words in the big book I realized that these words were describing me when I was drinking. A little over five years ago this spring I was in the middle of the insane cycle of coming home from work, stopping at the liquor store, finishing off a six pack of beer, waking up the next morning swearing off alcohol and doing it all over again. One Monday I had a nervous break down in front of all of my coworkers. Talk about incomprehensible demoralization. I was sent to detox and started my journey in aa in April 2013. I always remember those two words if I ever decide that I can drink again.

Dee74

Congrats on your journey comtnman

SoberLeigh

Very proud of you, comtnman! You have come a long, long way.

chowchow

You described me too. That horrible cycle of convincing myself in the morning I wouldn't drink that day and then when 5 pm came around getting a bottle or two of wine and spending my night drinking. I felt that incomprehensible demoralization as well. It hasn't been as long for me as it as for you so I still feel pretty close to that feeling. I hope I never feel it again. Now that I am no longer living like that I can better see the insanity and never want to go back (0ne day at a time).

tiredwoman

Thank you for this post.

brighterday1234

Great post. I think that phrase sums up the point an alcoholic has to reach when thy hit the point where they are willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober. My story was very different to yours but the feelings were the same.

To drink for me is to lose hope and lose everything I hold dear.

Fly N Buy

The first part of that compound sentence with the word pitiful always struck me. Nothing worse than being pitied - especially when we believed we were regaining control. Our old friend moderation did not work, again.

Well done 740 - grats.

Best,
Fly

Delizadee

That's pretty awesome, good for you! And thank you for the great post. Inspiring.