Stew1984

Yep. It’s not going to be done by just posting here and trying to manage on my own each day. I live with my parents (grateful) but it’s suffocating. I lost my house and need to deal with all the legal stuff from that. I know things were turbulent with my girlfriend that still doesn’t mean it’s not a loss. Anyway. I’m going to need to get to some meetings this week. I did contact someone RE smart meeting but they didn’t get back maybe the number was out of date. I’ll just get busy with any meetings whether AA or smart- it’s a forward step and one I’ve stubbornly refused but at the end of the day I’m screwed the way things are so need something to cling to. Confidence following breakup destroyed making it irresistible to drink booze and wallow.
I don’t really know how I’m going to cope with life on life’s terms. Maybe I’m just weak, succumbing to the negative pangs and drinking. Then also wallowing about my girlfriend. There’s a better life than this I’m pretty sure of it.
I do not think I’m above anyone. Just had my head in the sand for ages. Breakup a loss- I’m very sad even though it was s mess. Hopefully there are good times ahead

SoberLeigh

Really great to hear that you will be starting meetings, Stewy.

There is an exponentially way to live, Stewy, and you deserve it.

Give it all you have!

Delizadee

That's good to hear Stewy. I understand the pain of a breakup fresh into sobriety. It sucks, and add on all the other things life throws at us or just hands us on the daily.
Keep at it. Do take care of yourself, go to meetings and see if the face to face helps, I know for me it really does.

What really helps me is taking action- any kind of action, to get my head out of the sound and get out of the negative rut. Doing positive things, turning my thoughts to positive ones, even if I don't believe them at first- the fake it til you make it is a real thing. As long as you persist and take care of yourself, it will get better.

Hevyn

Always glad to see you posting, Stewy. You have many friends who care.

2ndhandrose

Stewy, happy to see your post!

Yes, there will be good times ahead

It won't be easy, in the beginning, but, Stewy, believe me when I say, it will be sooooooooo worth it.

Stew1984

I’m really at a very low time here. I’m stuck

SoberLeigh

I understand, Stewy. Alcohol robs us of so much.

Stew1984

I have no dignity and no quality adult company living in my mum and dads house (they’re my parents, it’s hard to find common ground) need my own place

SoberLeigh

Having your own place is important. I strongly believe that a place of your own attainable; stay the sober course and work to resolve the obstacles hat stand in your way.

Sobriety is your best ally.

Stew1984

Getting started seems so hard. Remembering old relationship not doing any good but that’s the reference tonight

Rar

Hi Stewy. Glad to see your post. You're not stuck unless you give up. As you gain sobriety, you'll be able to save more money and ultimately get your own place. Your sobriety will give you a new beginning. It won't be easy, but many folks here have walked that same road and that road led to sobriety for them. You can do it.

SoberLeigh

Sometimes it is hard to get the old relationship out of our mind when we are stuck with other challenges weighing us down, too.

One positive step leads to another. The first step is often the hardest but it is absolutely the most important one.

Stew1984

I’m just so very sad about losing my house and girlfriend and that beer was a big part of that. That being said, it would be unfair to hold myself account for every wrong doing

SoberLeigh

I am sure that the breakup was not all your fault, Stewy, not all. I am so certain that there is a healthier relationship in your future.

Dee74

I don't think you're week Stewy but drinking ******* growth.

Your break up and the house thing was actually a while ago now and the fact you still can't move on from that is down in large part to drinking.

Drinking is a vote for the way things are. It s an attempt to make the intolerable tolerable. It's not dealing with anything, it's simply pushing things to one side....and then doing the same the next night and the next...

The real way to deal is to stay sober and move on, get busy again building a life.

D

Stew1984

FOr all I know the girl I was with is way more moved on that I am because of all the drinking I have delayed my recovery and slowed everything down. Stupid me getting in touch with her to say how sorry and his it’s all my fault when I’m reality it was a 2 way street.

Of course, she is living in our house. Until it is sorted I have to pay mortgage payments or at least half. That’s holding me back big time. Beer is poison . I’m never going back to this. Once it’s over, it’s staying that way. I hate this. But I’m scared too, I’m sad when I’m sober- lonely, withdrawn, isolated. I do not know how to behave when like this I’m only human after all. I’m sick of being this way, I would rather not be living my life and would rather be In peace than try to understand the world. I’m sick of it all. 33 and on my own, no home other than my parents and stuck in an unattractive arrangement. That girl was not without faults! I know I’m my true self that even though J was drinking, she still caused problems irrespective of the drink

tomsteve

reads like its time to get busy with meetings and solutions,stewy.
so whens your first meeting now that you want to change? is there one tonight? how about tomorrow morning?

Stew1984

I’m so drunk now I don’t know

SoberLeigh

Off to dinner - be back soon.

Anna

Stewy, I think you know that drinking has prevented you from moving on from your girlfriend, and from finding a solution to dealing with your house. I hope that you can begin to stay sober and to focus on solutions.

You can change your life, but you must take action.