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Here is me, and I assume I'm not alone

Old 03-09-2018, 11:55 AM
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Here is me, and I assume I'm not alone

Hi! I've joined this forum because I have been a highly functional alcoholic since the age of 18, but almost a decade on things are getting silly and I need to kick this addiction.

I've lived since my teens with depression and, like many people who are like that, medicate with alcohol. When I was younger this would involve drinking six pints of beer in my Uni digs on my own on Fridays and Saturdays, now I spend every weekend drinking from around midday (i.e. when I wake up) and haven't gone a weekday without drinking since the new year. This is taking a toll on me and I'm starting to miss work, which isn't an immediate threat as my job allows time management, but is definite a red flag.

Alcohol also makes me want to smoke, want to eat unhealthily, stops me from exercising and stops me from getting out and enjoying life. I drink almost exclusively alone and it helps me switch off from the world, but I want to be switched on. I also want to save money and improve my health.

I have a book and audiobook about sobriety and start therapy soon which requires I'm not abusing any substances. I'm an atheist, so AA isn't likely to work for me. I hope to learn from people on this forum and maybe benefit from any advice you might have to share particularly re: resources (books, websites, apps), how to stop myself from buying alcohol when I don't want any, and as I intend to go cold turkey this Sunday, how to deal with the immediate short term effects of coming off years of alcohol abuse.

Thanks for taking the time to read this! Hope to gain and contribute.

CH
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Old 03-09-2018, 12:02 PM
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Welcome to SR and sobriety. Good choice.

What sort of therapy are you starting? Therapy itself can be very useful in recovery.

How are you planning on managing the underlying depression when you can no longer self-medicate? A psychiatrist with a specialization in substance abuse treatment as well as mood disorders saved my life, and could be an extremely valuable resource for anyone.

Cold turkey can be painful to dangerous, it's not a bad idea to consult with a doctor about your physical cessation. The symptoms are largely dependent on drinking amount and duration, but everyone is different, and this is only a guide. A doctor can also help with medications to ease the transition and advise you if they feel that this is useful or necessary.

Books, audiobooks, and web sites are fine, but a more structured plan is best.

I'm a terminal agnostic and AA didn't work for me either...but there are some atheists/agnostics that makes 12 Step work for them, so I wouldn't discount it entirely.

There are a ton of secular recovery programs like SMART, AVRT and Lifering as well, there's a whole forum devoted to them. AA isn't the only game in town.
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Old 03-09-2018, 12:06 PM
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So I'm going for a medication review soon which should adjust my current prescription to one more specific for my diagnosis. Therapy will be a form of CBT that has been described to me as "complex CBT", whatever that means!

I'm UK based but will check those initiatives out. Are there structured plan templates around I could adopt? I'm sure these questions have been covered before so apologies if I've missed something obvious.
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Old 03-09-2018, 12:22 PM
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You tube, rain in my heart documentary opened my eyes a lot, and listening to talks on you tube about alcoholism, good luck keep posting
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Old 03-09-2018, 12:44 PM
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It's great you're here. SR is the backbone of my recovery. I was here pretty much all the time at the beginning. I also tried every, and I mean every, sober trick suggested by members until I found the ones that worked and they became My Plan.

( AA, SMART, DBT therapy, daily readings, christian contemporary music, walking, hard exercise, posting daily, reading posts during insomnia, community groups, volunteering, helping other drunks, reading, old whatsisname's book, the big book, a sponsor, sober friends, blogging, youtube documentaries podcasts, AA speaker tapes, telephone helplines, affirmations and afformations, yoga, online jigsaws, monthly doctor visits). I've just shocked myself at how much I do!!!!

I couldn't break the habit of buying alcohol like a robot on a mission at first, I'd just automatically go to the store, but I could post here before I drank it. I got help to pour it away. That sounds funny as I write it but after a couple or few attempts my sobriety stuck.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the people here who believed in me when I didn't realise what I was up against.

Together we are stronger
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