Misery loves company
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Misery loves company
The saying is true.
While I was drinking, I was typically around people who could drink as much as myself, do the same amount of drugs and do it all again next weekend.
During the week we would rarely get together, we'd rarely, if at all, do sober activities. We'd definitely participate in drinking activities during the week like softball.
These people would call when I didn't want to go out, but begged until I gave in, just to enjoy the sh*that show of the evening.
Maybe it made them feel better about their drinking habits
Maybe they wanted someone else to be the fool that night
Maybe they just needed a drunk buddy
Maybe they had no one else who understood them, the alcoholic that they are, like you did.
Now that I'm sober, I wouldn't hang out with anyone who was in that category, they no longer call or text to hang out...
Wonder why?
We have nothing in common when the drink is gone.
When the drugs are gone
Nothing.
I was miserable, they enjoyed the company.. Hell, I did too at the time. I needed them for all the same reasons.
Misery loves company
I choose to be sober and I choose who I am around and who I want to spend my time with.
I love that about sobriety, a natural selection of friendship.
I share this because I see people scared to get/be/remain sober because they don't want to lose friends... Well, what kind of friends are/were they?
Misery loves company
Alcoholics love the company of other alcoholics (well, those who didn't drink at home alone anyway)
When the substance (alcohol /drugs) is removed how much substance (solid ground) is left in that relationship?
The opinion of others, is none of my business and it will not tarnish what I am accomplishing within my sobriety.
I had a ton of drinking friends, I lost 99.9% I let them go, and that's made me a better person.
If they choose to become sober, I'll think about where that relationship could go, if at all.
I hope you find the strength to live YOUR TRUTH!!!
Blessings,
DC
While I was drinking, I was typically around people who could drink as much as myself, do the same amount of drugs and do it all again next weekend.
During the week we would rarely get together, we'd rarely, if at all, do sober activities. We'd definitely participate in drinking activities during the week like softball.
These people would call when I didn't want to go out, but begged until I gave in, just to enjoy the sh*that show of the evening.
Maybe it made them feel better about their drinking habits
Maybe they wanted someone else to be the fool that night
Maybe they just needed a drunk buddy
Maybe they had no one else who understood them, the alcoholic that they are, like you did.
Now that I'm sober, I wouldn't hang out with anyone who was in that category, they no longer call or text to hang out...
Wonder why?
We have nothing in common when the drink is gone.
When the drugs are gone
Nothing.
I was miserable, they enjoyed the company.. Hell, I did too at the time. I needed them for all the same reasons.
Misery loves company
I choose to be sober and I choose who I am around and who I want to spend my time with.
I love that about sobriety, a natural selection of friendship.
I share this because I see people scared to get/be/remain sober because they don't want to lose friends... Well, what kind of friends are/were they?
Misery loves company
Alcoholics love the company of other alcoholics (well, those who didn't drink at home alone anyway)
When the substance (alcohol /drugs) is removed how much substance (solid ground) is left in that relationship?
The opinion of others, is none of my business and it will not tarnish what I am accomplishing within my sobriety.
I had a ton of drinking friends, I lost 99.9% I let them go, and that's made me a better person.
If they choose to become sober, I'll think about where that relationship could go, if at all.
I hope you find the strength to live YOUR TRUTH!!!
Blessings,
DC
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Relationships are so much more meaningful in sobriety. I am now enjoying the company of my family and 'real' friends to a much greater degree.
I really don't miss those who were only drinking buddies.
Three cheers for sober friendships.
I really don't miss those who were only drinking buddies.
Three cheers for sober friendships.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by DreamCatcher17 
The saying is true.
While I was drinking, I was typically around people who could drink as much as myself, do the same amount of drugs and do it all again next weekend.
During the week we would rarely get together, we'd rarely, if at all, do sober activities. We'd definitely participate in drinking activities during the week like softball.
These people would call when I didn't want to go out, but begged until I gave in, just to enjoy the sh*that show of the evening.
Maybe it made them feel better about their drinking habits
Maybe they wanted someone else to be the fool that night
Maybe they just needed a drunk buddy
Maybe they had no one else who understood them, the alcoholic that they are, like you did.
Now that I'm sober, I wouldn't hang out with anyone who was in that category, they no longer call or text to hang out...
Wonder why?
We have nothing in common when the drink is gone.
When the drugs are gone
Nothing.
I was miserable, they enjoyed the company.. Hell, I did too at the time. I needed them for all the same reasons.
Misery loves company
I choose to be sober and I choose who I am around and who I want to spend my time with.
I love that about sobriety, a natural selection of friendship.
I share this because I see people scared to get/be/remain sober because they don't want to lose friends... Well, what kind of friends are/were they?
Misery loves company
Alcoholics love the company of other alcoholics (well, those who didn't drink at home alone anyway)
When the substance (alcohol /drugs) is removed how much substance (solid ground) is left in that relationship?
The opinion of others, is none of my business and it will not tarnish what I am accomplishing within my sobriety.
I had a ton of drinking friends, I lost 99.9% I let them go, and that's made me a better person.
If they choose to become sober, I'll think about where that relationship could go, if at all.
I hope you find the strength to live YOUR TRUTH!!!
Blessings,
DC
While I was drinking, I was typically around people who could drink as much as myself, do the same amount of drugs and do it all again next weekend.
During the week we would rarely get together, we'd rarely, if at all, do sober activities. We'd definitely participate in drinking activities during the week like softball.
These people would call when I didn't want to go out, but begged until I gave in, just to enjoy the sh*that show of the evening.
Maybe it made them feel better about their drinking habits
Maybe they wanted someone else to be the fool that night
Maybe they just needed a drunk buddy
Maybe they had no one else who understood them, the alcoholic that they are, like you did.
Now that I'm sober, I wouldn't hang out with anyone who was in that category, they no longer call or text to hang out...
Wonder why?
We have nothing in common when the drink is gone.
When the drugs are gone
Nothing.
I was miserable, they enjoyed the company.. Hell, I did too at the time. I needed them for all the same reasons.
Misery loves company
I choose to be sober and I choose who I am around and who I want to spend my time with.
I love that about sobriety, a natural selection of friendship.
I share this because I see people scared to get/be/remain sober because they don't want to lose friends... Well, what kind of friends are/were they?
Misery loves company
Alcoholics love the company of other alcoholics (well, those who didn't drink at home alone anyway)
When the substance (alcohol /drugs) is removed how much substance (solid ground) is left in that relationship?
The opinion of others, is none of my business and it will not tarnish what I am accomplishing within my sobriety.
I had a ton of drinking friends, I lost 99.9% I let them go, and that's made me a better person.
If they choose to become sober, I'll think about where that relationship could go, if at all.
I hope you find the strength to live YOUR TRUTH!!!
Blessings,
DC
When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Relationships are so much more meaningful in sobriety. I am now enjoying the company of my family and 'real' friends to a much greater degree.
I really don't miss those who were only drinking buddies.
Three cheers for sober friendships.
I really don't miss those who were only drinking buddies.
Three cheers for sober friendships.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Southern US
Posts: 626
Originally Posted by DreamCatcher17
I hope you find the strength to live YOUR TRUTH!!!
Blessings,
DC
Blessings,
DC
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 122
Is it pathetic that losing my buddies from the bar circuit is part of why quitting is so scary for me? I have a couple of real friends that I've known for decades who, while we drink, are my friends regardless of sobriety. There is love there. But most of my other friends are happy hour buds and I don't see them otherwise. It is a tough realization and can be scary
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by Scramm
Is it pathetic that losing my buddies from the bar circuit is part of why quitting is so scary for me? I have a couple of real friends that I've known for decades who, while we drink, are my friends regardless of sobriety. There is love there. But most of my other friends are happy hour buds and I don't see them otherwise. It is a tough realization and can be scary
I just don't think it's a good reason to not be sober, it's an excuse to remain stagnant. People were meant to come in and out of our lives. To learn a lesson and move on. Maybe they'll learn something along the way too, if not today maybe tomorrow (for them, not you).
I hope you're able to see your truth and live within it
Blessings,
DC
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by Dee74
My story exactly guys - and even the relationships that endured, with friends who didn't drink, have gotten deeper more meaningful and just all around better
D
D
Thanks for sharing Dee
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by Komplex
Thank you for this great post. I needed to read this! It’s a great truth to realize that the friends we’ve lost while getting sober weren’t actually friends at all.
Exactly, it may have stung a bit but the 2 by 4 hurt worse when I realized I was being used... And was the user.
Glad to be here!
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