PhoenixJ

Welcome! I am on limited credit here- so have not read thru the other replies. Apols if I am repeating. A PLAN is a very good idea- to maintain sobriety- to plan what to do, when and why. Lots of info in the sticky's.
Go to rehab
- get a counselor
-go to meetings. Support every day is vital.
DO NOT DRINK!
Post here- especially when you do not want to.
Journal.
Research- read the stories people have offered on the thread under that name (I think). It is from people a year + sober.
Live in the present, go to yoga - learn mindful meditation,
- see a psychologist and learn CBT techniques (a game changer for me),
-see a GP and get a full physical done.
Check out your local community Health centre...a lot of resources could be found. Try SMART meetings as well as AA...I do both. Set attainable, simple goals.
Try to achieve just a little bit every day.
Support to you. PJ.

garvo65

Posting on here is enough and wouldn't go near any of those other things for cultural and legal reasons.......I think that some can turn their weaknesses into a full time job by seeking help, attending this and that meeting, medication etc..........just not for me......will power and the gym are working fine................but I accept for others they might benefit from the list of opportunities.

garvo65

Been to the pub for Sunday lunch and only had diet coke.........no problems.........all good. Very nice food too. Happy Mothers Day.

Dee74

As long as you don't drink you can do what you like

For me, though, one of the greatest lessons I had to learn was asking for help was not a weakness.

Willpower? Part of my will wanted to drink- I wanted to 'tame' beat and own alcohol the same way I approached all my other challenges.

Failed again and again.

I'm very very independent and very very self-sufficient - but I couldn't do this on my own.

D

garvo65

Weakness is just the human condition and our fallibility.........weakness is not asking for help.

However, now at day 10 I feel a new sense of freedom, emancipation from a destructive habit and do not have the temptation to drink............the help I sought was using exercise as a replacement and posting on here..........I feel that I am one of the lucky few who was in a poor physical and mental state, who through abstinence changed things very quickly.......having a sense of freedom from a substance actually means you need less will power in my case anyway......

garvo65

I seem to be succeeding so no interest in my thread anymore LOL...........day 11 and the demon drink has still not reared its ugly head........good luck to everyone.........

Komplex

Thanks Garvo. Great work on 11 days. Stay close.

garvo65

Had my first negative comment about stopping the booze this evening.............was told I was boring..............I guess other folks get a lot worse.........garvo

Stephan2018

Hey, Garvo. Day 19 here. Still feeling cr@ppy, but a bit better each day. It's totally worth it. Don't sweat a few broken plates or a grumpy mood. This too will pass. Hang in there, and please check back and let us know how you are doing.

p.s. Just saw your later comment. I hear one can find out who their friends really are in this process. Their comment says much more about them than about you. Sorry it happened, but please don't take it to heart. You know what you are doing and why. And of course at less than two weeks in, it's entirely reasonable you might not be the life of the party. It'll get better.

Dee74

I find obnoxious know it all drunks boring.
Congrats on your progress Garvo

D

garvo65

Day 12 all good................

garvo65

Day 13..........little or no temptation but I think that alcohol must mask many of the aches and pains........I just seem to ache all over..........whether it's the gym or the absence of alcohol I don't know...........I hope things improve or I can see me popping pain killers every day..........

Dee74

I think alcohol does mask some aches and pains - it also makes our immune system run in overdrive so when we stop drinking, it can collapse on us.

Be wary with pain meds - it's really easy to stop one addiction (or dependency if you like) and start another.

You will feel better eventually, I promise

D

garvo65

In the UK it's difficult to get anything strong to kill the pain.........no pain clinics here.............noticed that my knee and calf have swollen up to large proportions........hoped that stopping drinking and undertaking regular exercise would be a panacea, apparently not. Feeling 15 years older than my real age and hope things change but still not tempted to drink. Been more productive and organised with the professional life but not feeling good physically.

Caramel

Time for a checkup, I think, garvo65.
Good health to you, take care.

Sparkling

Hi Garvo, another Brit newcomer here. Just wanted to let you know my experience on the GP/social services experience if it helps - for context I have a 3 year old and my husband works away through the week. My husband first hauled me to the GP around 9 months ago to tell him my drinking was becoming a problem - he gave me the number for my local recovery centre but no SS referral. I believed I could beat it in my own so never called, but my drinking continued and spiralled and ended up in A&E one night as I fell and hit my nose after drinking and was quite beaten up. I saw a crisis counsellor there and talked about my drinking but definitely played it down - this led to the first SS referal (by the way I only drank on two occasions when my daughter was home - 2 times too many I know but mostly I'd drink when she was at her grandparents).

If I remember correctly they called me to see how I was and for an initial check in on me. I said I was doing better, back at work etc. and it was left at that straight away with no home visits etc. Then I really took a downward spiral with my drinking, at which point I was hauled to the recovery centre by my friends this time, and this was again flagged to SS. They called my husband this time and he assured them my daughter was not in my care when I was drinking and all his family were committed to keeping her safe. Again it was case closed.

At this point I regularly attended the recovery centre until they signed me off and went to AA daily (I don't still go as was hard to maintain with work and agree with you about not wanting it to become my life's focus) but it was the most amazing thing I ever did and completely changed my mindset to drinking. As I was doing great my daughter was home with me all the time after a couple of weeks and I just called SS out of courtesy to tell them this and they were happy.

Unfortunately I had a small relapse around 5 weeks ago and my husband took me to the doctor again, at which point SS were made aware again, called my husband and father in law to confirm my daughter had been staying there when I drank, which she was, so again they were satisfied.

This is a long post but to sum up I think the benefits of getting support outweigh the risk with SS as long as your kids aren't in any danger (and if they are something must change anyway I guess). If you really don't think you'd access any support etc then telling the GP won't actually achieve much.

Great you've done so great so far and good luck as it continues!

Yeti

People who dont drink still smash things up!!!

soberista

Hi Garvo. Well done on Day 13 I think you are now at? I havent used AA or any other help but I do log on here daily and have found reading through posts and checking in has been enough to keep me focused on my sobriety. I've also recently read the Naked Mind and I found that resonated with me. I have picked up a 20 minute meditation program every morning and now, at nearly 11 weeks, feel great. I feel now the most important thing for me is to remain mindful of the AV and how it fairly frequently (and consciously/sub consciously) drops in a moderation thought. I have a script that I go through when that comes to mind. The figures are so high for reverting back to drinking in the first 12 months (something like 75% i recall) that i never rest on my laurels with this one and stay on guard. I will not be one of those statistics. All the best

garvo65

I think that drinking is obviously pathologised here and sobriety is idealised. The longer I am sober, the less I support such a view, which will ruffle some feathers. I am certainly no more happy, stable or content not drinking. Anyway, I went to hospital because of a suspected blood clot in the leg and huge swelling (my local indian managed shop referred to me as Elephant leg, which was kind!). Anyway, after waiting nearly four hours I was not even seen by a nurse despite the possible seriousness. They then announced that they were not coping and that there was little chance of seeing a Dr for over 12 hours and to just go home if possible. Having my child with me, I elected to drive 30 miles to another NHS hospital and arrived at exactly midnight. Had blood taken and 1am and by 4am still not examined by anyone. Told I was next. Nothing. Went back and the staff said I was last because of emergencies coming in.........needless to say I found the NHS an utter waste of time and went home. I cannot described the utter chaos and despair of those I saw in a far worse situation than me. I do not blame the staff but the ridiculous demands placed on the service.

I remain sober but not happily so and understand why my father refers to the pub as the 'mood adjustment centre.' Even forgot what day of sobriety I am on......if people can drink with moderation I think it is certainly preferable to sobriety but then again, I find it difficult to do much at all in moderation!

Dee74

LOL My feathers aren't ruffled but..you've been sober 2 weeks, yeah ?

I remember - it seems long - it feels like you've made the mental switch -but you're still way closer to the start of this than anything else.

This is not 'recovery' - this is the difficult transitional phase.

I guarantee you no one here would stay sober long term if they felt they lost out on the deal.

I'm guessing you gave years to drinking - we get used to instant gratification - pop the bottle and 'mood adjustment' ensues....

You won't need to give years to sobriety before you accept it works best - but it will probably be months rather than weeks?

I'm sorry for the NHS run around - the public health system is groaning under the weight of patients here in Oz too - but I guarantee that it annoys the bejabbers out of drinkers too

There's two steps to freedom as I see it, Garvo

1. stop drinking.
2. find out how to be happy while doing Step 1.

The second one is harder and takes longer, but when you crack it, it's worth it

D