The first paragraph of AA's "How It Works" is *constitutionally* defective
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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The first paragraph of AA's "How It Works" is *constitutionally* defective
One of the meetings I go to is a beginner's meeting, so the preamble and 'How It Works' are read aloud. The first paragraph of How It Works sounds like a cacophony of chalk. I can't comprehend the logic behind touting one's program by referring to people for whom the program doesn't work as 'unfortunates.' To assert that the aforementioned people are 'constitutionally incapable' of rigorous honesty. What a concept. The honesty of rigor. The rigor of honesty. First time I ever heard that was at an AA meeting during my stay at an inpatient facility. Grating. My visceral reaction was wholesale rejection.
Patting oneself on the back while knocking on a subset of people struggling with alcoholism seems self-aggrandizing.
That said, I like AA; I think it's a great tool for sobriety. I also believe that working the 12-steps will bring me closer to self-actualization. But the first paragraph of How It Works is a flawed and fallacious.
Patting oneself on the back while knocking on a subset of people struggling with alcoholism seems self-aggrandizing.
That said, I like AA; I think it's a great tool for sobriety. I also believe that working the 12-steps will bring me closer to self-actualization. But the first paragraph of How It Works is a flawed and fallacious.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 573
Interesting take. Although personally I doubt very much it was the original intention of the authors who wrote the BB to "knock on a whole subset of people struggling with alcoholism". They were alcoholics themselves. Many of them knew what it was like to fail miserably in their initial attempts at sobriety. They were simply explaining their own experience. Without rigorous honesty, achieving a lasting sobriety is very difficult. I lived in denial for years. Everything was everyone else's fault. Lying was second nature. What is so radical about stating rigorous honesty as essential for recovery? Neither flawed or fallacious if you ask me. Are there other ways of getting and staying sober? Sure there are. But when the BB was written, there wasn't much other help available to alcoholics who wanted to get sober.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
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In the 80 years since the Big Book came out, I doubt there is a single phrase in it which hasn't been hashed and quibbled over to death by those whose sensibilities are offended.
I suggest it's counter-productive to highlight and focus on aspects of the Big Book that offend you. If you're going to make a go of AA as a sobriety program, then focus on what you do relate to in the book, and keep in mind your ultimate goal, which (I assume) is a lasting and contented sobriety. Try to grasp and practice the essentials of the program without getting too bogged down in the details of its presentation. As you proceed through the steps and begin to experience the relief that comes from living according to the principles which underlie them, you'll become more tolerant of aspects of the book which may grate against your current value system.
Of, if you find that it's too much to ask, perhaps move on to a different method.
I suggest it's counter-productive to highlight and focus on aspects of the Big Book that offend you. If you're going to make a go of AA as a sobriety program, then focus on what you do relate to in the book, and keep in mind your ultimate goal, which (I assume) is a lasting and contented sobriety. Try to grasp and practice the essentials of the program without getting too bogged down in the details of its presentation. As you proceed through the steps and begin to experience the relief that comes from living according to the principles which underlie them, you'll become more tolerant of aspects of the book which may grate against your current value system.
Of, if you find that it's too much to ask, perhaps move on to a different method.
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Join Date: Mar 2018
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Really if that is your only issue to complain about, so far, I would say you're doing great in early sobriety! lol. But if you are laying out any program no matter what, you probably should be confident that it will work. And if the only thing that causes people to fail is that they can't accept the problem (ie. be honest with themselves) in the first place, then it is "unfortunate" indeed that they couldn't make it.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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a big book study with someone that understand and can explain the language may help.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty.
notice is says "they seem to have been born that way. "the way it was explained to me is that they are referring to people whose IQ is so low they cant grasp what honesty means.
there is another meaning that their level of denial is so extreme, so ingrained into their being, that it is virtually impossible for them to see the reality of their situation.
its just the pain truth without sugar coating.
Patting oneself on the back while knocking on a subset of people struggling with alcoholism seems self-aggrandizing.
and opinions can vary. im sure youve read a little of doc silkworth. that little doc talked to or worked with over 40,000 alcoholics in his time. personally i havent read of any one person that has come even close to that much contact with alkies. i tend to belive what someone with that much experience has to say.
one thing the little doctor that loved drunks said:
The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight
sure seems to have interested and held you,eh?
keep going to meetings and working the steps. im sure you will see people coming in and out of AA that prove that statement true.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty.
notice is says "they seem to have been born that way. "the way it was explained to me is that they are referring to people whose IQ is so low they cant grasp what honesty means.
there is another meaning that their level of denial is so extreme, so ingrained into their being, that it is virtually impossible for them to see the reality of their situation.
its just the pain truth without sugar coating.
Patting oneself on the back while knocking on a subset of people struggling with alcoholism seems self-aggrandizing.
and opinions can vary. im sure youve read a little of doc silkworth. that little doc talked to or worked with over 40,000 alcoholics in his time. personally i havent read of any one person that has come even close to that much contact with alkies. i tend to belive what someone with that much experience has to say.
one thing the little doctor that loved drunks said:
The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight
sure seems to have interested and held you,eh?
keep going to meetings and working the steps. im sure you will see people coming in and out of AA that prove that statement true.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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I'll just say I totally get it. Frankly, when I hear that particular paragraph I just tune out. I don't attach to it.
I am definitely guilty of looking for all kinds of ways and excuses not to stay sober. I hope I am past that kind of thinking.....I know I am today. But I have learned the hard way that my beastie addict loves to separate me from the herd. Oh my gosh, all the lame excuses I used to come up with to keep me drinking.
I now will do just about anything to stay sober. And I don't have to like all of it. I've also learned that some of the stuff I used to find the most offensive, was the stuff I needed to listen to the most!! Hmmmmm.....
I am definitely guilty of looking for all kinds of ways and excuses not to stay sober. I hope I am past that kind of thinking.....I know I am today
. But I have learned the hard way that my beastie addict loves to separate me from the herd. Oh my gosh, all the lame excuses I used to come up with to keep me drinking.I now will do just about anything to stay sober. And I don't have to like all of it. I've also learned that some of the stuff I used to find the most offensive, was the stuff I needed to listen to the most!! Hmmmmm.....
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
How many times did you tell yourself you could control your drinking, or that your problem was not that bad, or that your drinking never hurt anybody but yourself, or that you'd quit tomorrow ....etc .....etc .... etc
The truthfulness refered to in "how it works"refers to the honesty that you have with YOURSELF. The coins given out in meetings say "to thine own self be true". Shakespeare added, "And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man".
The truthfulness refered to in "how it works"refers to the honesty that you have with YOURSELF. The coins given out in meetings say "to thine own self be true". Shakespeare added, "And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man".
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
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i always found that to be a very KIND statement.....and very humble. remember the time period when this was written and the turns of phrase and lingo of the day. AA fully admits that it's not for EVERYONE but that even those who have resistance or reservations about the program, will benefit if they give it a solid go.
The preamble also states:
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple pro- gram, usually men and women who.....
And later in Working with Others:
We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic of an opportunity to live and be happy.
Cannot or will not.........
The preamble also states:
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple pro- gram, usually men and women who.....
And later in Working with Others:
We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic of an opportunity to live and be happy.
Cannot or will not.........
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Yes, the language is arcane and I have to admit that in the beginning it also rubbed me the wrong way.
Until I found out that there was something way more important, namely to drop the f$cking resistence and learn to be humble. Focus on what is said, not how it is said - the methodology is sound, that’s all that matters. Take a deep breath and let go - you’re fighting for your life, like we all are, so give that your full attention instead of sweating the small stuff.
Until I found out that there was something way more important, namely to drop the f$cking resistence and learn to be humble. Focus on what is said, not how it is said - the methodology is sound, that’s all that matters. Take a deep breath and let go - you’re fighting for your life, like we all are, so give that your full attention instead of sweating the small stuff.
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
For a long time that paragraph bugged the hell out of me. But I was too afraid to ask myself 'why?' Mainly because I had serious issues with rigorous honestly, and had spent years in & out of the AA revolving door. That paragraph always felt like a giant red arrow pointing DIRECTLY at me.
Rigorous honestly is what eventually opened my eyes to the program, after years of resentment and blame.
Rigorous honestly is what eventually opened my eyes to the program, after years of resentment and blame.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
The first para may well be flawed. It was changed from the original "Never have we seen a person fail...." This is much closer to the truth as I have exprienced it.
Tongue in cheek some folk read it "Rarely have we seen a person thougroughly follow our path" and there is some truth in that view too. The key is" to completely give themselves to this simple program"
I have seen many chronic alcoholics completely give themselves and I can't think of one who didn't recover, and I have seen many cannot/willnots meet an alcoholic death. It is a bit of an understatement to refer to them as unfortuntates.
Tongue in cheek some folk read it "Rarely have we seen a person thougroughly follow our path" and there is some truth in that view too. The key is" to completely give themselves to this simple program"
I have seen many chronic alcoholics completely give themselves and I can't think of one who didn't recover, and I have seen many cannot/willnots meet an alcoholic death. It is a bit of an understatement to refer to them as unfortuntates.
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