soberquest

I've been on a rollercoaster for the last 5 years. Anxiety, depression, both muffled with binge drinking. I'm on a journey now of sobriety. My family and husband keep telling me I need to figure out the why for the erratic behavior over the years. The problem is, this is the happiest I've been. My marriage is great, work is great, nothing crazy has happened....yet my anxiety and depression are through the roof.
I have no desire to drink ever again. Just a desire to feel somewhat normal and in control of my head.

ljc267

From me, I drank cause I wasn't good at dealing with my emotions. When I felt down or stressed I drank to alter my emotional state. As a result, I never learned how to overcome or deal with negative emotions.

But everyone is different and it really doesn't matter why. We all get caught up in semantics. The bottom line for all of us here is that drinking, in one way or another, is negatively effecting our life.

If your an alcoholic, like me, the only way to go is quitting for good. There was no way to manage my drinking. Believe me I tried everything.

J50

Instead of focusing on why you drank, I think it's more important to focus on why you don't.

However, alcohol is an addictive mood altering substance, which taken in large amounts can affect decision making and reasoning skills. It also changes the chemicals in our brain. The only way to attain normalcy is to not drink, for if we do the cycle will never end.

Horn95

Lots of therapists treat depression and anxiety.

Mattq2

After many months of sobriety I still don’t know the answer to “why”. I’ve given up my search for that answer. I know I’m much happier sober. The happiness has come ever so slowly but it does come. It took me a very long time to dig the very deep hole I found myself in. Seems reasonable it will take awhile to get out. I am getting out and so will you. Sobriety is the key.

Raeven

I think sometimes the answer for why is "because". I had lots of excuse, ultimately I knew it was wrong, and kept going because. If me, I'd ask my family to back off the why, and focus on current actions. Good luck!!

Dee74

yeah sometimes the why is simply 'I'm addicted' and addiction needs no logic in order to manifest itself.

I could drink over starving kids in Africa...or drink because I stubbed my toe and it really hurts.

All the same to my addiction.

Personally I spent a long time looking for the why, and kept drinking while I was looking.

I got results when I simply stopped drinking - and made a daily commitment to find support and help to stay that way.

D

Anna

I know, for me, I had to work on healing the underlying issues in my life that had led me to self-medicating with alcohol. I had huge issues with childhood abuse which I thought would vanish when I left my parents home. I put them aside and carried on, or attempted to carry on. But, I found myself sabotaging myself at every turn and I couldn't figure out why I was doing that.

I had to look at myself and recognize that my abuse had a huge impact on my emotional well-being. I had to learn to access my emotions, rather than ignore them. And, then I had to learn how to begin to heal.

So, for me, the why was very important.

Zebra1275

Why might = “I like the buzzed feeling alcoholic gives me.”

That was a big one for me. Didn’t need to spend years in therapy to figure that one out.

Gottalife

I Drank because I am an alcoholic. Neither the drinking nor sober life were any good in the end. Both were miserable. A common thing among alcoholics of my type is to stop drinking and do nothing else in the way of recovery. Most of us try this approach early on. If we can stay sober at all, life becomes very difficult. Anxiety, fear, depression and resentment become prominent, we become unhappy. Some drink again, some take their own lives. Most alcoholic suicides happen when the victim is sober, which shows how bad things can get. The condition is sometimes referred to as untreated alcoholism.

When I stopped drinking, went to AA and sincerely worked the program, something changed with me. Sobriety became rewarding, a pleasure, and the need to drink disappeared. Life was enjoyable. In AA they say the best years of your existence lay ahead. Certainly came true for me.

soberquest

Thank you everyone. I am seeking counseling and will continue forward with my sobriety. Focusing on the future and the beauty of living sober is my ultimate goal.

Forward12

Many of us also have underlying mental health conditions (myself included) I think that is great you are going to be seeing a therapist for with your issues, it does for sure help.

DreamCatcher17

I don't allow other people to dictate my sobriety and how I manage it or when I figure things out for myself.
This is a process, and it'll come in due time.

The reason I drank:
It was nice outside, horrible outside, I was bored, I had a good day, a bad day, my kid was driving me nuts, my BF was driving me nuts... etc...

As for deeper "issues"
Sure, insecurities- and every feeling associated with that, fear, sadness, etc...

Now there is no alcohol, and life is so much better. I am able to feel my feelings and better understand them, work on them and move along in life.

Best of luck with therapy, I love my therapist!

brighterday1234

Live in the solution not in the problem. I drank because I’m an alcoholic.