A word of warning to those still drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
A word of warning to those still drinking
I'm two months into my recovery and currently losing so much (family/divorce), but heed my warning that if you don't stop, your loved ones might think the following of you when you mention Alanon/counseling?
It is a sad (sobering) truth:
"Alanon? Counseling? Counseling doesn't fix the fact that I don't want to be around you anymore. You've hurt me too many times, berated me, I am moving on with my life. I am embarrassed the way you have run over me, and I have too much self-respect to allow it to continue on. Say it out loud. You live in a house in [redacted], you don't work, you have no respect for me. You leave lights on, dirty everything, because you have no respect for others and their living space. You just take, take, take. You expect people to wait on you hand and foot, and have no accountability. [redacted, my name] gets to go into work late, miss work, and you wonder why you can't hold a job. You have to understand people watch you, co-workers, family, friends. People tattle on each other, whey you are 'sick' and 'late' other co-workers wonder, why can't I make my own schedule. Todays' workplace is more and more gossipy and people cry no fair, so you have to be a better worker than 5 years ago."
It is a sad (sobering) truth:
"Alanon? Counseling? Counseling doesn't fix the fact that I don't want to be around you anymore. You've hurt me too many times, berated me, I am moving on with my life. I am embarrassed the way you have run over me, and I have too much self-respect to allow it to continue on. Say it out loud. You live in a house in [redacted], you don't work, you have no respect for me. You leave lights on, dirty everything, because you have no respect for others and their living space. You just take, take, take. You expect people to wait on you hand and foot, and have no accountability. [redacted, my name] gets to go into work late, miss work, and you wonder why you can't hold a job. You have to understand people watch you, co-workers, family, friends. People tattle on each other, whey you are 'sick' and 'late' other co-workers wonder, why can't I make my own schedule. Todays' workplace is more and more gossipy and people cry no fair, so you have to be a better worker than 5 years ago."
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Garnet valley, PA
Posts: 52
Ouch, this one hurts....so true. I did all those things. I also gave myself an awful permanent illness. I've been truly blessed tho; I still have my life and my family, came this close to losing it all, for good.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Reality check for some of us who have f***** up. People are entitled to their opinions. Sometimes life of an alcoholic is like a forest fire, devastating all in its wake. I hope the value of sobriety is still worth working for. I like the Rational Recovery model in that you can make transitioning to sober as quick as possible, making the choice to forever stop drinking and the consequential insanity.
Walking a sober path in a wide open space (from the metaphoric "forest fire") can be a positive if one lets it be. Rebuild on a day to day basis. Show up for appointments, work, meetings. Begin to live honestly. That's how you earn respect.
I speak from experience. Don't let the AV tempt you to walk any other way. Good luck to all. Steel is not forged into its strength without the fire.
Walking a sober path in a wide open space (from the metaphoric "forest fire") can be a positive if one lets it be. Rebuild on a day to day basis. Show up for appointments, work, meetings. Begin to live honestly. That's how you earn respect.
I speak from experience. Don't let the AV tempt you to walk any other way. Good luck to all. Steel is not forged into its strength without the fire.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Two thoughts:
1. You made the right suggestion, even if someone was too angry to receive it.
2. It's easier to be angry than sad, even when that's what you're really feeling.
Take care of yourself BCake. That's job #1.
1. You made the right suggestion, even if someone was too angry to receive it.
2. It's easier to be angry than sad, even when that's what you're really feeling.
Take care of yourself BCake. That's job #1.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I agree with everyone else that you're on the right road now babescake.
You may find the people mad at you now won;t always feel that way- but no matter what happens, you're doing the best thing for you and your future
go you!
D
You may find the people mad at you now won;t always feel that way- but no matter what happens, you're doing the best thing for you and your future
go you!
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Brutal feedback, but it is feedback about your past behavior and you cannot fix the past.
What you can do however, is doing the right things in the future and it sounds like you are taking the right steps to do just that. Time is the great healer, people will come around eventually!
What you can do however, is doing the right things in the future and it sounds like you are taking the right steps to do just that. Time is the great healer, people will come around eventually!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
Yeah, I know. Just not a fun environment to be around when trying to stay sober and already playing seesaw on the self-esteem playground. This is nice feedback. Typically WAY worse and more destructive. I just wanted to show others as a warning. Believe me, you don't want to go through this. Drinking is HELL and so is divorce.
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