A new start a new me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 2
A new start a new me
Hi all.
I’ve finally come to terms after an assessment that I am an alcoholic .
The last two years have been plagued with family feuds to the point where we’ve had to take them to court , being publically abused and outrageous accusations made against me all over Facebook to the point I’ve been attached.
It led me to turn to alcohol
The last 2 years haven’t been all bad , we went away last year and I proposed to my partners as she’s been amazing and supportive but I’m starting to drift away again to the alcohol.
We have plans in mind to move away have a fresh start as our house and area carry bad memories which makes me turn to alcohol.
We’re due to get married in April and I want to cut right back and not enter marriage and an alcoholic.
I’ve finally come to terms after an assessment that I am an alcoholic .
The last two years have been plagued with family feuds to the point where we’ve had to take them to court , being publically abused and outrageous accusations made against me all over Facebook to the point I’ve been attached.
It led me to turn to alcohol
The last 2 years haven’t been all bad , we went away last year and I proposed to my partners as she’s been amazing and supportive but I’m starting to drift away again to the alcohol.
We have plans in mind to move away have a fresh start as our house and area carry bad memories which makes me turn to alcohol.
We’re due to get married in April and I want to cut right back and not enter marriage and an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 166
Hi Newme, welcome. It sounds like you are staying focused on the positives and it definitely helps to get out of an environment full of negative associations. It never hurts to think about ways to repattern your life & routines so that you don't default back to the alcohol pacifier if things get rough again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: yorkshire UK
Posts: 879
Hi newme. Welcome to SR. I hope you manage to get off the alcohol and have a wonderful wedding and marriage. Keep coming here; read posts and post yourself. You will find a lot of support and advice here.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome to SR NewMe
I used to think family, FB, my house, and my circumstances made me drink. Turns out it was just me. That was OK, though. It would have been impossible to fix everything else in the world - but fixing me was possible.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
I used to think family, FB, my house, and my circumstances made me drink. Turns out it was just me. That was OK, though. It would have been impossible to fix everything else in the world - but fixing me was possible.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 2
Thank you all for your kind messages .
I would like to have a normal life where every now and then I can have a social drink , as I think it’s my circumstances that drive me to the drink and it’s just breaking a pattern
When I say social I mean on a holiday or with a meal etc I mean to cut right back to that , the main aim at the moment is cutting out the drink on week nights to start with and push on from there. And the volume of drink as it’s worryinh when I see the empty bottles on a Monday after a weekend and it isn’t healthy
It’s very difficult and I feel I have become dependant
Does any body have any good coping mechanisms to avoid slipping up and turning to it all the time ?
I would like to have a normal life where every now and then I can have a social drink , as I think it’s my circumstances that drive me to the drink and it’s just breaking a pattern
When I say social I mean on a holiday or with a meal etc I mean to cut right back to that , the main aim at the moment is cutting out the drink on week nights to start with and push on from there. And the volume of drink as it’s worryinh when I see the empty bottles on a Monday after a weekend and it isn’t healthy
It’s very difficult and I feel I have become dependant
Does any body have any good coping mechanisms to avoid slipping up and turning to it all the time ?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome newme and congratulations on your upcoming marriage. All of us here wish we could drink occasionally, but we can't. If we had any tips on drinking occasionally, we would be able to moderate and not be here. Moderation doesn't work for alcoholics, at least not for long. I tried to moderate and I've failed at least 3 times. Before long I was up to the same amount or more than I was previously consuming. Please read through the threads here. You'll gain a greater understanding of alcoholism and learn some techniques and strategies for quitting forever.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 312
Welcome newme. This is a great place to offer you support and resources for you recovery. And it sounds like you have a lot of great things in your life to look forward to and to motivate your recovery. Best of luck on your journey!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Originally Posted by newme2515 
Thank you all for your kind messages .
I would like to have a normal life where every now and then I can have a social drink , as I think it’s my circumstances that drive me to the drink and it’s just breaking a pattern
When I say social I mean on a holiday or with a meal etc I mean to cut right back to that , the main aim at the moment is cutting out the drink on week nights to start with and push on from there. And the volume of drink as it’s worryinh when I see the empty bottles on a Monday after a weekend and it isn’t healthy
It’s very difficult and I feel I have become dependant
Does any body have any good coping mechanisms to avoid slipping up and turning to it all the time ?
I would like to have a normal life where every now and then I can have a social drink , as I think it’s my circumstances that drive me to the drink and it’s just breaking a pattern
When I say social I mean on a holiday or with a meal etc I mean to cut right back to that , the main aim at the moment is cutting out the drink on week nights to start with and push on from there. And the volume of drink as it’s worryinh when I see the empty bottles on a Monday after a weekend and it isn’t healthy
It’s very difficult and I feel I have become dependant
Does any body have any good coping mechanisms to avoid slipping up and turning to it all the time ?
I had a toxic relationship with alcohol where even one drink might change me and all my good intent went out the window.
Many of us have tried all kinds of ways to drink 'normally' and failed.
It might sound unlikely to you but there's actually a sense of relief and freedom when you decide not to drink anymore
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
My moderation turned into a bin full of empty bottles. All I know is I've tried "moderating" more times than I can count and I always end up getting back to unhealthy volumes of drinking. Maybe you're different, but of you came to this website it seems unlikely.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I tried really hard to be a 'normal' drinker for years. Sometimes I'd whiteknuckle it for a few weeks/months,but it was making me more miserable than when I was drinking with no boundaries and i'd just go back to doing what I thought I wanted..just drinking. My recovery really took hold when I focused all the wasted energy of my moderating onto an achievable goal. Becoming a non drinker is waaay easier than trying to hold the anchor of booze while swimming around in life.
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