9 Days
 

9 Days. Bam.

Drop in the bucket. Still a mountain to climb. But all things considered I feel good about what's been accomplished in the last 9 days to get the basics almost back in hand. Also, I'm 9 days closer to resolution of the immediate issues I'm facing. I've been praying everyday for the energy to keep moving - and God has delivered. There is much relief in turning this over to a higher power for direction and resolution. I don't claim to understand it or even to believe in it all the way all the time. Far from it. But it's working and I'm not going to overthink or question it. Kind of a fake it 'til you make it thing, sort of.

Some major milestones are done - and I had a tiny window to get it done in. Feel good about that.

Much work to do. House is next major focus. I'll be glad to be rid of it. It's been a situation where my possessions really have owned me instead of the other way around. I feel great relief to be bringing that to an end.

Major test coming - I leave town Wednesday and return Friday night. I've got a plan now:

I intend to stick close to this place - probably post often in the evenings. At least for this trip I'm going to make an excuse to not do dinner or bar or whatever. I won't stay withdrawn forever - but right now is not the time for me to test fate. As long as I can avoid joining the group I'll be fine. So yea, that's the plan. O, yea, and I'm not going to wait until the moment. As soon as I get there - 1st thing in the morning - I'm going to make some comment to them about some commitment or other I have to attend to - that way when the moment comes I'll have already boxed out my position and won't have to frame it in the moment. Also, it'll give me a reason to scoot out as soon as work is done with a sense of urgency. Best not to linger.

Hungry. Tired. It's going to be an intense couple of weeks at work. I'm grateful for it.

Hope peeps are doing well and finding some light.

-B

O yea. I'd like to add.

Crazy dream last night. Full of tension. At the center of it was my old boss - a guy who I had a very close working relationship with for 15+ years. Things got bad at the end. But here's the kicker - the other center of it was beer. I could taste it, smell it. But interestingly enough I didn't drink any of it.

I'm sure a psychotherapist would have a field day with that one. What a doozy of a dream it was. What's interesting to me is that I've never really dreamed about booze before. I guess I'm not really surprised - more just kind of in awe at what must go on in the deeper parts of our brains - the areas that see the world without language. Wonder what it's trying to tell me....

-B

Buckley, 9 days is great and it sounds like you're doing well.

I hope your travel time goes smoothly.

Congratulations on your 9th day of recovery. I'm on my first day, I just joined today. Do you have any advice how to get through the first few days of cravings? I heard the first few days are the hardest.

To be honest - I have some rather intense circumstances that I'm using as fuel to get through the initial period. You can read about it if you'd like - it's probably back on page 5 or 6 by now. I wouldn't recommend the Buckley method. :P

I think the first few days are the hardest - so I think doing what you have to to just not drink is where it's at. I know that's vague, sorry.

I suspect the biggest issue is managing expectations. We alkies like to try to control things - and we are also likely emerging from years of crap so the need to fix everything right away can be overwhelming.

I just focused on 2-3 things that were on my MUST DO list. After I'd get them done that was it. If I got more done great. If not great.

I also think that just being a little productive everyday really adds up over time. For me - when I'm drinking I have massive gaps of days that I do zero - maybe negative zero - things to live a healthy life. So if you take a week of doing 1-2 things that probably ends up being a month or more (very likely more, much more) than I was getting done before.

So yea. Just don't drink today. Keep it simple. Treat yourself & self care. I think after day 3-5 I started feeling some sense of physical normalcy again.

Glad yer here. :)

B

Well done,,Buckley.

I like your travel plan. So glad that you are making contingencies ahead of time.

Congrats on nine days sober! :) Keep going, it gets better. :)

Way to go Buckley :)

Great job B!

Doing Great...
Like your plan ����

Congrats on 9 days!

Day 9 for me today. You should join the March class Buckley. If you don't know what that is, it's basically a support thread for everyone who is trying to quit drinking this month.