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Old 03-05-2018, 07:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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First Post and Intro


Do we introduce ourselves in a post, here? I am new and trying to figure it out. I have 23 days sober under my belt. I was in the detox unit of the hospital for a week in Mid-Feb after a trip to the ER, because I knew I needed to end a month long binge. I was a mess, drinking 2 or 3 bottles of wine a day. The thing is, nothing triggered this binge other than boredom. I just started drinking more and more...

All my adult life I struggled but this year it really escalated along with depression and anxiety. So, after that detox and hospital stay, finally clean, I realized I had my whole life still ahead of me (I'm 47, so, you know, hopefully still some life left). This is the scariest part. How to live this new life?

I am often depressed and ANGRY at myself for getting so out of hand. I am bitter sometimes. I still crave wine or cocktails at restaurants. At home with my husband I feel OK, but socializing brings intense cravings whiny fits, self-pity, anger. I try to hold it in.

I am going to some AA meetings and while I enjoy listening to the experiences of other members, I am an atheist and I just can't conceive of a higher power.

I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here and how to adapt to this new sober life. I welcome any advice and new friends. I don't have anyone to talk to besides my husband - about my recovery. Although I will start counseling soon. I'd just love to connect online with some experienced folks.

Thank you for reading.
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Old 03-05-2018, 08:15 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome. Hope you stick around.
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Old 03-05-2018, 08:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by NavelGazebo View Post
Do we introduce ourselves in a post, here? I am new and trying to figure it out. I have 23 days sober under my belt. I was in the detox unit of the hospital for a week in Mid-Feb after a trip to the ER, because I knew I needed to end a month long binge. I was a mess, drinking 2 or 3 bottles of wine a day. The thing is, nothing triggered this binge other than boredom. I just started drinking more and more...

All my adult life I struggled but this year it really escalated along with depression and anxiety. So, after that detox and hospital stay, finally clean, I realized I had my whole life still ahead of me (I'm 47, so, you know, hopefully still some life left). This is the scariest part. How to live this new life?

I am often depressed and ANGRY at myself for getting so out of hand. I am bitter sometimes. I still crave wine or cocktails at restaurants. At home with my husband I feel OK, but socializing brings intense cravings whiny fits, self-pity, anger. I try to hold it in.

I am going to some AA meetings and while I enjoy listening to the experiences of other members, I am an atheist and I just can't conceive of a higher power.

I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here and how to adapt to this new sober life. I welcome any advice and new friends. I don't have anyone to talk to besides my husband - about my recovery. Although I will start counseling soon. I'd just love to connect online with some experienced folks.

Thank you for reading.
Hello

You mentioned boredom right at the beginning of your post being the reason for binge drinking.
The trick is to listen to yourself as most things people write hold the deep clues as to 'why' in the first few words!

So what to do to beat boredom?
Well I could sit and write a thousand things but still could be a shot in the dark.
What did you like doing when you were younger? Their must of been things you enjoyed as a kid or teenager for example.

Maybe you like dancing, cheerleading etc etc etc and this is where you could focus your mind.
By becoming a coach for example.

My daughter did trampolining when she was young, I took her along initially and became involved with the club, did a 2 day course and am now a fully qualified coach LoL. I even learnt to do doubleback somersaults at 46.

The thing is try and find something you once enjoyed doing, and bring it back into your life now.
It will give you a reason and sense of being, as the depression and anxiety has come along later in life this will hopefully help push them away as well instead of killing boredom with drink and blocking out your true feelings!

Good luck!
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Old 03-05-2018, 08:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you! I am glad I found this community. I'm just hopping around it, trying to get oriented. Seems like a great place.
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Old 03-05-2018, 08:36 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thank you so much for your reply!

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Hello


What did you like doing when you were younger? Their must of been things you enjoyed as a kid or teenager for example.
As to what I used to like doing. Gosh, this is a big question, as all my life I kind of bounced from thing to thing and never had any hobbies that stuck. I've never been athletic or had any real talents.

Reading has always been something I enjoyed. I used to read as a child every chance I could get - and I still do. Since I've been working on sobriety I've averaged a novel a day, heh.

I'm going to start taking some art classes occasionally. Also, I have been coloring with colored pencils in an Art Nouveau coloring book the past few nights, that's helped. Once the weather warms up I plan to really ramp up my walks in the neighborhood, for exercise.
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Old 03-05-2018, 08:43 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Thank you so much for your reply!



As to what I used to like doing. Gosh, this is a big question, as all my life I kind of bounced from thing to thing and never had any hobbies that stuck. I've never been athletic or had any real talents.

Reading has always been something I enjoyed. I used to read as a child every chance I could get - and I still do. Since I've been working on sobriety I've averaged a novel a day, heh.

I'm going to start taking some art classes occasionally. Also, I have been coloring with colored pencils in an Art Nouveau coloring book the past few nights, that's helped. Once the weather warms up I plan to really ramp up my walks in the neighborhood, for exercise.
Sounds like you have a plan, plans are good!

You can earn money reading books, trouble is if you like reading that much you could be engrossed 24/7 https://www.thebalance.com/how-to-ge...o-read-1360670

Keeping busy is key!
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:00 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome and love your user name - made me smile this morning.

I'm 40 here and just 27 days sober - though as you can see from the date I've joined that I've given this a run more than once before.

There is so much wisdom and insight on these pages. One thing that was always said to me in the years I've been here, so I'll say to you, do you have a plan?

Welcome and hope that you share.
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome and love your user name - made me smile this morning.

I'm 40 here and just 27 days sober - though as you can see from the date I've joined that I've given this a run more than once before.

There is so much wisdom and insight on these pages. One thing that was always said to me in the years I've been here, so I'll say to you, do you have a plan?

Welcome and hope that you share.
Glad I could make you smile!

As for a plan, I'm formulating one...abstaining of course. AA meetings a few times a week as schedule allows ( I am lucky there is a good one near my office right at quitting time). I'm trying to fill free time with reading, art/craft classes, and walking.

And making connections with people who can relate!
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:43 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Glad I could make you smile!

As for a plan, I'm formulating one...abstaining of course. AA meetings a few times a week as schedule allows ( I am lucky there is a good one near my office right at quitting time). I'm trying to fill free time with reading, art/craft classes, and walking.

And making connections with people who can relate!
Great. Are you reading any books on sobriety? I've read quite a few and find they have been of great help.
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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lessgravity, no, I haven't found any books on sobriety yet. I need to look into it. Do you have a totle or two that you recommend to start off with?
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Old 03-05-2018, 10:04 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR, NavelGazebo! (although I don't quite know what that is)lol
You will find alot of support here and there is info, too. Someone will give you the book link. I just used the search at the top and scrolled down to the SR forms on book people have read.
Glad you found us!
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Old 03-05-2018, 10:14 AM   #12 (permalink)
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lessgravity, no, I haven't found any books on sobriety yet. I need to look into it. Do you have a totle or two that you recommend to start off with?
I just reread Jason Vale's book - Kick the Drink. It's terrific.

Nothing replaces meetings or being here etc but I think Vale has some really simple, practical ways of thinking about getting and staying sober.

Let me know what you think.
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Old 03-05-2018, 10:28 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR, NavelGazebo! (although I don't quite know what that is)lol
You will find alot of support here and there is info, too. Someone will give you the book link. I just used the search at the top and scrolled down to the SR forms on book people have read.
Glad you found us!
Thanks so much!
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Old 03-05-2018, 10:29 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I just reread Jason Vale's book - Kick the Drink. It's terrific.

Nothing replaces meetings or being here etc but I think Vale has some really simple, practical ways of thinking about getting and staying sober.

Let me know what you think.
Fantastic. I am going to check Amazon now for a Kindle version. I appreciate it and will come back with my thoughts.
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Old 03-05-2018, 11:18 AM   #15 (permalink)
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welcome to SR!
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Old 03-05-2018, 11:24 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Hi Navel, welcome! It sounds like you and I have a lot in common. Looking forward to getting to know you. Best of luck on your journey to sobriety!

JT
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Old 03-05-2018, 11:50 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Hi Navel. (yes great username Welcome to SR. Glad you have found us.

I too enjoy reading. Try The Unexpected Joy of being Sober. I read that cos it was recommended on here, really uplifting and excellent. At the moment I am reading Drinking, A love Story. I have yet to start Blackout. All three about recovering from booze and all recommended on here. Take care.
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Old 03-05-2018, 01:55 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Hi Navel. Welcome to the SR family. A major part of my plan is spending time on SR. Reading the threads and posting when I can help or offer encouragement goes a long way in helping me stay sober. Good luck on your journey. Stay close to SR. It will help.
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Old 03-05-2018, 02:28 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Welcome, NG - it's so good to have you join us.

It's still early days for you - be patient with yourself. It's a huge adjustment we are making. I was completely dependent on it when I quit - drinking all day. I was exhausted in those first few weeks without it. I know what you mean about the self-pity & anger - but you'll come to realize this is a wonderful gift you're giving yourself. Getting our freedom back is a beautiful thing. Be proud of yourself.
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